A Clandestine Corporate Affair(57)
“Have you got a minute?” Jordan asked.
Nathan gestured him inside.
“So, the board meeting is this afternoon,” Jordan said, as if Nathan wasn’t already well aware of that fact.
“So it is,” he said.
“You should know that I had planned to go to the board and tell them about you and Ana.”
“I figured as much.”
“Well, I changed my mind. I’m not going to do it.”
“Am I supposed to thank you?”
“No. I just thought you would want to know.”
“It wouldn’t matter now anyway. We split up a week ago.”
He looked truly taken aback. “You split up? Why?”
“What difference does it make?”
“Nathan, if it’s because of what I said—”
“When you insinuated the woman I love is a slut?”
Jordan actually looked remorseful. “I was just trying to ruffle your feathers. I didn’t think you would take me seriously.”
“Then you’ll be relieved to know that it has nothing to do with that.”
“Damn, I’m sorry it didn’t work out. What about Max?”
“I’m not seeing Max either.”
“What? Is she keeping him from you?”
“It was my own choice.”
“Are you crazy? You love that kid. And he adores you. I’ve never seen you so happy.”
“It’s the only way I can keep them safe.”
“From what?”
“Me. Like you said, I’m just like him.”
He rolled his eyes. “Nathan, those were just words said in the heat of the moment. I was trying to piss you off, trying to make you hit me.”
Huh? “You wanted me to hit you?”
“Because I knew it would make you feel lousy when you did. Because…” He drew in a deep breath and blew it out. “Hell, I don’t know. Maybe it’s the enormous chip I’ve been carrying around on my shoulder for the past twenty or so years.”
“You resent me. Jordan, I took—”
“You took care of me, I know. You defended me against the whole damned world. Did it ever occur to you to let me defend myself or, instead of fighting my battles for me, teaching me how to fight them? Maybe I didn’t need you to be my damned savior.”
His words stunned Nathan. All these years he assumed he was doing his brother a favor by protecting him. Had he actually done more harm than good? “I guess, since I was older, I considered it my responsibility to take care of you.”
“Do you have any idea how guilty I used to feel when Dad would whale on you for something I did? After a while I started to resent you for it, for thinking I was too weak to take care of myself. Then it got to the point when I actually enjoyed getting you in trouble, watching you take the knocks for things I did. I wanted you to feel as weak and as small as I did.”
“Jordan, I was only trying to help. I had no idea I was making you feel that way.”
Jordan shrugged. “So, now you know. And this thing with Ana and Max, you don’t want to screw the pooch on this one. You’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”
“I would regret it a lot more if I hurt them.”
“You’re not going to hurt them. Not physically anyway. Over the years I’ve given you a hundred reasons to clean my clock, and look how long it took for you to actually take a swing at me. And the expression on your face afterward…” Jordan laughed and shook his head. “You looked like you backed over a puppy with your car. That alone was worth the sore jaw.”
Nathan grinned for the first time in a week. “I really looked that bad?”
“It was freaking awesome. And it astounds me that after all the years, and all the bullshit, you don’t hate my guts. No matter how hard I push you, how big of a jerk I am, you’re still there for me. If I called you at 3:00 a.m. from some bar, too wasted to drive, and said I needed a ride, you would drop everything and pick me up.” He paused, then said, “Which I guess in a way makes you the weak one, not me.”
“Because if I called you for a ride in the middle of the night…?”
“I’d tell you to call a damn cab, then I’d roll over and go back to sleep.”
No, he wouldn’t. Nathan didn’t know how he knew. He just did. If Jordan didn’t care about him, they wouldn’t be having this conversation. Maybe there was hope for them yet.