A Chance This Christmas(31)
“Oh, honey, no. That’s not the idea you should take away at all.” Her mother shook her head so adamantly, the loose barrette holding her chin-length hair slid right out. “I’m only telling you now so you understand that I have every bit as much misplaced guilt as you do.”
Frowning, Rachel tried to follow what her mother was saying. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“You think that I can’t possibly be responsible for your father’s actions, and you’re right. I’m not. But that doesn’t keep me from wondering what I could have done differently.” She reached into the side of her sewing basket and withdrew a plain brown envelope. “We both wrestle with guilt simply because we loved a flawed man.”
“So your point is we should both stop.” Rachel’s eyes remained on the envelope.
If she stopped feeling guilty about her dad, did that mean she could stop feeling guilty about Gavin, too? The thought crept through the back of her mind before she could halt it. No matter if it made sense or not, she had regretted hurting Gavin’s friendship with Luke.
“We owe it to ourselves to leave the past far behind us.” Her mother clutched the envelope tighter. “And I think I’m going to finally be able to do that once I give the town this.” Her mother passed her the envelope.
Too heavy to be a letter, the packet sat awkwardly in Rachel’s hand. She lifted the flap.
A fat stack of hundred-dollar bills filled the stiff paper.
“Mom—”
“Fourteen thousand dollars.” Her mother smiled triumphantly. “I’m repaying the town every cent your father stole.”
*
Rachel worked all the next day on the bridesmaid dresses, and late into the night. She hoped the soothing whir of the sewing machine would help her forget her mom’s scheme to repay the town, a plan Rachel had argued against for long afterward. For one thing, that debt was not her mother’s to pay. For another, giving Yuletide the money would surely only draw new attention to a scandal that had taken forever to die down in the first place. And finally, the local government had been reimbursed for the theft long ago by their insurance policy. Rachel had checked personally with the police since it had worried her too.
But none of those arguments seemed to sway her mother, who had some misguided notion that writing the town a check would buy acceptance for the remaining members of the Chambers family. So Rachel had sewed all day to put it out of her mind along with the fact that she still hadn’t spoken to Luke to smooth things over before the wedding in two days. Oh, and she also wanted to forget about Gavin’s question that still kept circling her brain.
What if I don’t want you to leave?
The crimson satin snagged in the machine, the bobbing needle slowing to a halt. Unfortunately, her work hadn’t really provided the mental escape she needed even though it was almost midnight. If anything, she was putting the dresses at risk by continuing to tweak them when her brain churned with unsettling thoughts. Technically, she was finished with the bridal party attire anyhow. She’d kept herself busy by creating decorative tags inside each dress with the wearer’s name and the date of Kiersten and Luke’s wedding.
Would Rachel ever have a wedding of her own? She hadn’t really dated anyone seriously since the debacle with Luke. She’d gone out, of course, but always in a more casual group as opposed to alone time with a guy. She’d been focused on her career. But being back home, seeing her friend get ready to marry, made her think about her own future. For a moment, she imagined herself walking down the aisle in a dress of her own design. In her mind’s eye, she saw Gavin in a tuxedo…
Beside her, her phone vibrated as she pulled the last dress out of the machine.
Gavin.
Seeing his name right after she’d been daydreaming about him sent a shiver through her. She couldn’t possibly talk to him now when she was so confused about him. Them. She held her breath as she let the call go to voicemail.
He’d messaged her earlier in the day, asking her to attend the rehearsal dinner with him. She’d thanked him nicely but refused. At this point, the main person she needed to see was the groom and she certainly wasn’t going to make peace with Luke at his rehearsal dinner. She’d have to find him before the dinner began. She’d called him twice this week and left her number.
The calls had gone unanswered.
Somehow, she needed to step up her efforts to see him. Then, she’d give Kiersten the dresses, talk her mother out of giving back that money, and maybe she’d finally feel like she’d made peace with the past. Maybe she’d find the same closure her girlfriends had when they followed that radio talk show’s advice.
Her phone vibrated a second, chastising time.
Feeling like she needed more time to figure out her next move with him, Rachel didn’t look at the screen, concentrating on smoothing out any wrinkles before she bagged Emma’s bridesmaid gown. Luke’s bachelor party should still be going on tonight, so she wasn’t sure why Gavin would be calling.
Turning back to the sewing table to switch off the task lamp, a thump reverberated against the attic windowpane.
She jumped back with a yelp. When she’d caught her breath again, she braved a peek outside.
Through the glow of red and green lights from her mother’s perpetually decorated house, Rachel squinted down to street level and saw Gavin Blake packing another snowball. A flutter of nerves or maybe pleasant awareness flitted through her. He squeezed the snow tight between two palms while she hurried to crack open the casement window.