A Call of Vampires (A Shade of Vampire #51)(26)

It hit me then what had really happened. Whatever potion the Druid had made her, it had clearly interacted poorly with the spiced rosewater, turning Hansa, the great warrior succubus, into a weeping, emotional mess. On one hand, this was awkward as hell, but, at the same time, priceless to behold. I mentally chastised myself for enjoying the sight of her so vulnerable, and proceeded to gently pry the pitcher from her hands.

“Maybe I should hold onto this for a while,” I said, placing the pitcher on the floor beneath my chair. “I get the feeling it might have had something to do with what you’re experiencing now.”

“You think?” She sniffed, wiping more tears away.

A moment passed in absolute silence. She looked out into the night and let a long, tortured sigh roll out of her chest.

“Whatever was in that potion Ori gave me, it definitely relieved the stress. But it also brought out way too many feelings at once,” she said. “It’s overwhelming, and I don’t know how to cope with it all. I’m feeling joy and happiness at the sight of my sister’s blissful moment. At the same time, I can’t help but wonder whether I will ever experience that for myself. I’ve never thought about it before. I have never even considered it. Today, however, I did. And I didn’t like my lack of an answer. It left me with a painful emptiness in my stomach, which I’ve tried to fill with spiced rosewater…”

I listened quietly as she spoke. I felt sympathy for her. She’d been through so much already—years of wars and violence, then losing an entire tribe of sisters and daughters to Azazel’s Destroyers and the filthy Sluaghs. Hansa deserved better.

“I’m just… I don’t know if I will ever get to wear a wedding dress.” She shuddered, another wave of tears coming up.

“Do you… Do you think you need one?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper. She continued to sob, her head resting on the balustrade’s edge. She lifted it to look at me with questions in her eyes. I had trouble wrapping my head around this raw, genuine, and confusing image of her.

“You think I—”

“What’s going on here?” Jax’s voice shot through, interrupting Hansa mid-question and making her freeze in her seat.

I glanced to my left and found him standing there, with Heron by his side, looking at us with a frown pulling his dark brows together. His jade gaze settled on Hansa, concern casting shadows over his face. Heron and I quickly exchanged surprised glances. Hansa burst into tears again. I was genuinely baffled, wondering what had triggered her this time. I’d just managed to bring her back to a calmer state when the two Maras had shown up and probably ruined everything.

“It’s kind of weird to explain.” I sighed, watching Jax as he crouched next to Hansa. He was tall enough for his face to be on the same level as hers in that position. He put a hand on her shoulder, and Hansa unraveled further, unable to control herself. “Ori made her a calming potion for today, but I think it backfired when she combined it with spiced rosewater, and here we are, basically…”

I was close to getting alarmed by her reaction and loud sobs, when Jax wrapped his arm around her. She turned and hid her face in the small space between his neck and his shoulder. He brought his other arm up and took her in a quiet embrace, his eyes flickering with emotions I’d never seen in Jax before. Hansa bawled in his arms, crying as if the world were ending, and I felt my heart starting to break, slowly but surely. I wanted her to stop. She didn’t deserve to feel so bad. So lonely. So sad.

“Heron, speak to Draven. Tell him what’s happening,” Jax barked at his brother. “Surely he has some herbs around for this. And get some fresh water, too. We need to get the spiced rose out of her system sooner rather than later.”

Heron nodded and looked at me briefly before vanishing into the hallway. He looked devastatingly handsome in his black tux, his short black hair faded on the sides, contrasting with his jade eyes. If it weren’t for his crude jokes and brutal comebacks, I would’ve embraced the sound of my heart thudding at the mere sight of him. He was a ladies’ man, a creature with commitment issues and a penchant for rough humor. He dated often, and with so many females that I’d literally lost track. And yet, he was one of the smartest Eritopians I’d ever met, his darkness leaving room for questions about who he really was beneath the heartthrob fa?ade, and his gaze peeking through my very soul. I was afraid of liking him because heartbreak was written all over him, yet I always found myself holding my breath whenever he was around.

I shook my head and shifted my focus back to Hansa, who was crying in Jax’s arms. He ran his fingers through her hair, shushing her gently while she sobbed and soaked his tuxedo jacket with tears. His pained expression made me feel sorry for him too—whatever she was going through, it seemed to affect Jax, as well, though I was pretty sure Hansa didn’t know that.

“Hansa, please,” he whispered, and I suddenly felt like I shouldn’t be there. “Please, let it go… Whatever is torturing you like this, let it go. I don’t like seeing you cry.”

“I… I can’t let go of that,” she mumbled. “If I let go of that, I might lose myself… I can’t…”

I wasn’t sure what she was talking about, and, judging by the confused look on Jax’s face, he didn’t either. What I was sure about, however, was that the Lord of Maras most certainly had feelings for Hansa, feelings I’d never seen him express or act upon. I had a feeling there was a lot of baggage in his past, but the succubus wasn’t carefree either.