13 Little Blue Envelopes(15)
She dragged herself back across town to Goldsmiths. At least there she could point to the building and say, “The show’s in there.”
An hour in front of the uni produced no results at all, until she turned to find herself face-to-face with a guy who had to be about her age.
He was black, with short dreadlocks and sleek rimless glasses.
“Want to go see this show tonight?” she asked, pointing at the flyer with the dive-bombing coffee cup. “It’s really good. I have free tickets.”
He looked at the flyer, then at her.
“Free tickets?”
“It’s a special promotion,” she said.
“Is it?”
“Yes.”
“What kind of a promotion?”
“A . . . special one. A free one.”
“For what?”
67
“Just to get people to go.”
“Right,” he said slowly. “Can’t. Busy tonight. But I’ll keep it in mind, yeah?”
He gave her a lingering glance before going inside. That was as close as she got to success.
She sank down onto the bench at the bus stop and pulled out her notebook.
June 25
7:15 p.m.
Dear Miriam,
I have always been kind of proud that I have never lost it over a guy. I have never been one of those people who freaked out in the bathroom or did something lame like 1. making a mock-suicide attempt by taking an entire bottle of vitamin C (Grace Partey, tenth grade) 2. failing chem by repeatedly skipping class to make out behind the cafeteria Dumpster ( Joan Fassel, eleventh grade)
3. claiming sudden interest in Latin culture and switching from French II to Spanish I to be in same class as a hot freshman, only to get put in a different period (Allison Smart, tenth grade) 4. refusing to break up with a boyfriend (Alex Webber) even when he was arrested for setting fire to three sheds in his development and had to be put under observation in a mental hospital (Catie Bender, student council VP,
valedictorian, twelfth grade)
Clearly, hormones do not help our IQ.
68
I have always been very whatever about the whole thing. The guys I would have liked were just totally
unattainable, so, given the choice between making a huge effort for guys I wasn’t really interested in or being an independent human being (hanging out with my friends, making plans to escape New Jersey, injuring myself on household appliances), I decided to be an independent creature.
I know you think that I’m due for a “major romantic
breakthrough” anytime now, preferably before I leave high school. And you know I think you need “major hormone
therapy” because you excel at obsessing. You were obsessed with Paul all last summer. I mean, I love you dearly, but you do.
But just to make you feel better, I’ll tell you something: I am kind of sort of interested in someone who could
never, ever like me. His name is Keith. He does not
know me.
And before you even start with the “Of course he’ll like you! You’re so great!” just put it in park for a second. I know that he can’t. Why? Because he is 1. a good-looking British guy
2. who is an actor
3. and who is also in college
4. in London, where he wrote a play
5. which I have just purchased ALL OF THE TICKETS
FOR because of this letter thing and have only managed to give away SIX of them.
69
But just for fun, let’s review my romantic history, shall we?
1. Den Waters. Made out with him exactly three times, all three of which he did the scary lizard-tongue thing and thanked me afterward.
2. Mike Riskus, who I obsessed over for two years and never even spoke to until right before Christmas last year. He was behind me in trig, and he asked, “Which problem set do we have to do?” And I said, “The one on page 85.” And he said, “Thanks.” I lived on that for MONTHS.
So, as you can see, my chances are incredibly good, given my wide appeal and experience.
Enclosed you will find a copy of the program from Keith’s show.
I miss you so much it’s giving me a pain in my pancreas.
But you know that.
Love,
Ginny
70
The Hooligan and the Pineapple
Only three people showed. Since two people had already
purchased tickets before Ginny got there and she had used one herself, this meant that absolutely no one she had given tickets to had come. Her Japanese girls had let her down.
The result of this was that the cast of Starbucks: The Musical outnumbered the audience, and Jittery seemed very aware of the fact. That might have been the reason he decided to skip intermission and keep right on going, eliminating any chance of letting his audience escape. For his part, Keith didn’t seem to mind at all that hardly anyone was there. He took the opportunity to dive into the seats and even to climb one of the fake palm trees that sat on the side of the room.
At the end, as Ginny leapt up to make her escape, Jittery suddenly jumped down off the stage as she was reaching down to get her bag. He dropped into the empty seat next to her.
“Special promotion, eh?” he said. “What was that about?”
71
Ginny had heard tales of people being tongue-tied, of opening their mouths to find themselves incapable of any