Yours Truly (Part of Your World, #2)(80)

I spent the next four hours helping to make enough pupusas for a small army. We also stripped and washed all the beds and reorganized every cabinet in the kitchen. Mom announced that she was going to give the cat a bath once he came out of hiding, and I knew we’d never see Cooter out from under the sofa ever again.

I knew why she was like this. Cooking and cleaning were her stress response. When we were growing up, there was so little she could give us, but even if there wasn’t money, she could always give us a clean home. And she wanted to feed us now for all the times she couldn’t before—and she did. In amounts that attempted to compensate for the lean years, times a million.

This extreme nesting would settle down once Mom had the house the way she wanted it. The cooking would never end, but she’d stop cleaning the ceiling fans once she felt we were being adequately cared for.

Mom would be great when there were grandchildren. She’d be a wonderful Mamá Rosa—she was a wonderful mom. It’s just that Benny and I didn’t need this level of mothering. But when there were infants around? She’d be a dream come true.

I felt bad I’d never been able to give her any grandkids. I’d always feel bad about that.

We got caught up while we cooked and cleaned. I told her about my “boyfriend.” She wanted to meet Jacob. And his family.

His family was no problem, but I worried about Jacob. He’d be the center of her attention and he’d probably get overwhelmed.

I couldn’t decide if it would be better to introduce them at his parents’ house, where she’d have more distractions and the focus wouldn’t be so squarely on him? Or alone, when the stress of Amy and Jeremiah wouldn’t be a factor, because they’d probably be there.

And then I had a moment of wondering if I should even introduce them at all. Because in a few months Jacob and I would break up anyway. But then I realized if I didn’t, Mom would think I didn’t want him to know her or that he didn’t want to meet his girlfriend’s mom.

I’d have to make her believe we were real, the way I had to make everyone believe it. I had to set up these foundations that I’d eventually have to tear down.

The lie just kept getting deeper and deeper. And I hated it. Not because I had to tell it, but because I wished it weren’t a lie.

I showed Mom how to set up Benny on dialysis. I had to admit, that was a major bonus of her being here. Mom was a nurse, and she was very capable of sharing this load. Having two of us who could do this would give Benny the flexibility of doing his dialysis pretty much whenever he wanted to, even when I was at work. He wouldn’t have to wait for me to get home.

When I finally went up to bed, it was eleven and I had four missed texts from Jacob. One making sure I got home okay. Another one thanking me for letting him come to Wakan, and two more with some selfies we took yesterday. I smiled at the selfies.

I’d loved the last two days so much. I loved just being with him. Talking to him, doing things with him. When I was with Jacob, it didn’t matter where we were, I didn’t want to be anywhere else. He was like that terrarium in his plant room. A self-sustaining ecosystem. Everything I needed or wanted was wrapped up into one human being. It didn’t even seem possible.

It occurred to me that this is what true compatibility must feel like. Easy. Being with Jacob was easy in a way that I never knew existed. And it made me realize how much of my marriage had been forced. How we never had anything to talk about. How he didn’t seem to like my family or make any effort to get to know them or Alexis. Even things like vacations. I’d want to explore and he’d want to relax. These things seemed insignificant at the time, just small differences of opinion or minute preferences. But they glared now. Like proof that something was off and always had been. That maybe I’d married a six out of ten on the compatibility scale—which can work with effort. But Jacob was a ten out of ten. A yes/yes. Jacob didn’t take work.

Jacob was perfect.

I made one of the pictures of us my screensaver and moved all the icons away from his face so he wasn’t covered. I liked seeing his smile looking back from my phone.

I’d have to take this down when we broke up. Wouldn’t be appropriate then. But I could have it for now.

When I called him, he answered right away.

“Hey. You’re not sleeping, are you?” I asked.

“No. Just journaling. You got home okay?”

I climbed onto my bed. “Yeah. My mom is here.”

“From Arizona?”

“Yup.” I punched a pillow under my head. “She’s here for Benny’s transplant.”

“Oh. Can I meet her?”

I laughed a little. “You want to meet more of my people? You haven’t had enough?”

“Well, I didn’t enjoy Doug very much, but I liked Alexis and Daniel.”

“Okay, Doug is not my people. I do not claim him.”

He chuckled.

“My mom actually does want to meet you,” I said. “And your family.”

“Great. Let’s set it up.”

Again with the enthusiastic meeting of my inner circle. This man was really putting in the work for this charade.

“What if your family slips?” I said, lowering my voice. “About the kidney. Benny and my mom don’t know you’re his donor.”

“We could just tell them.”