Your Perfect Year(41)

Simon seemed to sense it. He looked at her with the greatest tenderness, took her hand, and gently stroked her skin.

“Darling,” he said quietly, “I don’t want to upset or torment you. And I certainly don’t want to make you cry.” He sighed. “I’d simply hoped for a carefree evening, but if that’s so difficult for you, then I’ll tell you here and now what it’s all about.”

“Oh, no!” She didn’t know what she was supposed to say. Of course she was burning to hear the magic words at last—but at the same time she felt bad that she couldn’t even manage to wait a short while longer, until the moment seemed perfect to Simon.

“It’s okay,” he said. “Maybe this is the best way, otherwise I might lose my nerve at the last minute.”

“In that case I’m all ears right now!”

“So, Hannah.” He was still holding her hand, but a little harder, as if he were afraid she might jump up and run away. Which was of course crazy. Why would she do such a thing? She wanted the exact opposite, to be together with Simon for the rest of her life.

“Yes?” GET ON WITH IT! her small inner voice argued.

He cleared his throat. “First of all, I want to tell you again how wonderful you look this evening.”

“Thank you.” NOW—BRING IT ON!

“The first time I saw you, when I came to collect Jonas, it was love at first sight.”

Hannah giggled and murmured bashfully, “Get out of here!”

“It’s true. I saw you and at that moment I knew that you were the right woman for me. And that hasn’t changed one bit, to this day.”

“Hmm.” A flush rose to Hannah’s cheeks. She had to admit that for once Simon’s pace suited her incredibly well. He was welcome to crawl toward his proposal at a snail’s pace, provided he did so with such spellbinding words.

“You’re so full of energy, so full of life! Your spark attracted me from the start, even if I did wonder at times if it wouldn’t be better for you to shift down a gear or two.”

“Well, I . . .”

“Shhh! I’m talking now.”

“Okay.”

“Sometimes I thought to myself that I hoped our children would take after you more than me.” He laughed. “That would mean they wouldn’t only inherit your wonderful stubbornness and positive attitude, but also your red hair.”

Coughing slightly, she ran a hand through her hair, wondering whether her style was still in place or her hair had reclaimed its independence.

“Honestly, Hannah! You’re the embodiment of everything I’ve ever wished for in my life. You’re my dream woman, best friend, adviser, emotional support—all rolled into one. Any man would want to find a woman like you!” His voice had risen and now sounded so euphoric and loud that Hannah was beginning to feel embarrassed. She hoped that no one out in the main dining room could hear this completely over-the-top tribute and Simon’s inordinately flattering words.

“Thank you, Simon,” she said. “But maybe you should cool it a bit?”

“No,” he replied. “I’m not going to cool it. You’re the love of my life.”

“And you’re mine.”

He swallowed deeply. “That’s why what I have to say to you doesn’t come easy.”

Now it was her turn to press his hand in encouragement. “Just say it.”

“Hannah . . .” He closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again and looked at her fixedly, she felt faint. His gaze contained so much emotion, so much love, that she wanted to believe every one of the words he’d just spoken, however over the top. “And that’s why . . .” He paused briefly. “That’s why, Hannah, I’m setting you free.”

“Yes!” she exclaimed joyfully. “I will!”

She jumped up from her chair, ready to run around the table and throw herself on Simon. Midmovement, it struck her, what he had actually said. She dropped back down in the chair in bewilderment.

“I’m sorry, but . . . what did you say?”

“That I’m setting you free,” he repeated. “I’m letting you go, so that you can make someone else happy. You don’t know how hard this is for me, but I’m not the right man for you.”

“I beg your pardon?” She shook her head to drive away the hallucination that was clearly plaguing her. It was hardly possible that two glasses of champagne could cause such a lapse of consciousness! She jerked her hand away from his. “Did I understand you right? You’re breaking up with me?” What a bizarre sense of humor!

“No,” he replied calmly. “I’d never split up with you, never!”

“You just did.”

“Please.” He moved to take her hand again, but she laced her fingers together. “I understand that I’m confusing you.”

“Oh, really?” She could feel her eyebrows leaping upward. “I wonder what makes you think that? Of course, it’s totally normal for your boyfriend to give you a long speech declaring that you’re his absolute dream woman before breaking up with you.”

“Please let me explain,” he said. “I’m not doing this because I want to.”

“You’re being forced to?”