Your Perfect Year(24)
She laughed again. “You have a lot to learn about women.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Maybe you’ll understand one day.”
They said goodbye and hung up, leaving Jonathan alone in his Saab, his fingers drumming nervously on the steering wheel and a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. How many things had his father been mistaken about? And just what, exactly, did he have to learn about women?
12
Hannah
Two months before:
Monday, October 30, 7:23 p.m.
“Yes, yes, and once again, yes! You were right. I’m the girlfriend from hell. Let’s say the worst ever. Satisfied?” Hannah was sitting hunched over in the waiting room of the Eppendorf University Clinic emergency room, head in her hands, elbows on her knees, like a sinner before the doors of a church.
“Please don’t feel bad!” Lisa sat by her side as they waited for the doctor to appear. “I’m sorry I said it; I really didn’t mean it. Of course you’re not the girlfriend from hell. And it’s not a matter of whether I’m satisfied. It’s Simon we should be worried about.”
“Yes, of course.” Hannah sighed. “I hope it’s not too serious.”
“I doubt it.” Lisa put her arm around her friend and gave her a comforting hug. “It was probably all just a bit too much for him.”
“It’s so horrible!” Hannah said. “How was I supposed to know he was going to collapse?”
“You couldn’t know,” Lisa said with a crooked smile. “But you could sort of tell by looking at him. I was surprised when you dragged him into Little Rascals at lunchtime. I thought he looked like a man who belonged in bed, not in the middle of a noisy horde of little kids.”
“You should have said something!”
“I did! Which part of ‘Oh my God, he looks awful!’ didn’t you understand?”
Hannah shrugged. “I didn’t hear you.”
“So that’s why you answered that no one would notice once you’d put his makeup on?”
“Stop!” Hannah snapped. “Anyway, you know Simon’s tendency to exaggerate.”
“Okay,” Lisa agreed. “I do. I also know your tendency to see everything with rose-colored glasses. Or at least how it fits in best with your worldview.” She elbowed her friend in the ribs. “Sorry, but you’ve got to admit it.”
“It’s better than always fearing the worst.”
“Depends.”
“On what?”
“Well, if we all end up in the ER, I don’t really think it’s for the best.”
“For God’s sake!” Hannah sat up abruptly and crossed her arms. “I’ve already confessed! I am the girlfriend from hell.”
“Don’t start that again. Sorry. Let’s wait and see before we get all worked up.”
“Okay.”
They sat together in silence for a while. Hannah surreptitiously watched the other people in the waiting area. Most of them seemed to be there with someone else, like she and Lisa were, but here and there she spotted a bandage or a crutch. In the far-left-hand corner, a mother had a little girl in her arms, the child burying her head in her mother’s neck and letting out the most heartrending sobs.
Hannah couldn’t help thinking that although the situation was far from pleasant, at least they weren’t there because of a child. She couldn’t bear to imagine their first day ending with a trip to the hospital with one of their little charges. Not good advertising for Little Rascals.
They’d almost managed to see the funny side of having to call an ambulance for Simon and watching it screech up Eppendorfer Weg, siren wailing, just as the first parents were arriving.
The children had hopped up and down with excitement and watched with wide-eyed interest as the jolly clown was examined by a paramedic and then loaded onto a stretcher and carried out to the waiting ambulance. Pure drama!
Hannah had gone with her boyfriend, while Lisa followed half an hour later after reassuring all their clients and saying goodbye to them. By then, the ambulance team had carried Simon, groaning loudly, off to who-knows-where, and they had been sitting there waiting for news ever since.
Hannah heard Lisa let out a snort of laughter.
“What?”
She looked at her friend, who waved her away.
“Nothing.”
“Tell me!”
“I couldn’t help thinking of when the ambulance arrived.”
“Me too.” Hannah laughed with her.
“Not a bad show to put on for our first day.”
“You could say that.”
“Good publicity. Our fame will have spread all over the neighborhood by now. It’s not every day that a semiconscious clown gets whisked off through the streets, let alone one surrounded by an excited gaggle of onlookers.”
“Do you think it’ll damage our image?”
“Only if the clown dies.”
“Lisa!”
“Sorry,” she said quickly. “That was a stupid joke.” She placed a reassuring hand on Hannah’s arm. “Everything’s okay. I told the parents your boyfriend has been trying out a new diet and that’s why he fainted.”