You'd Be Home Now (40)

“Is something wrong?” Priscilla asks. “You look a little funny.”

“What? No, I’m fine. Fine. Just nervous. I’m not used to, you know, drama,” I finally answer.

I look away from her, desperate to see something else, and land on Liza and Jeremy, who are standing very close to each other, heads bent together, whispering.

    They look…together.

Oh. Jeremy. Shy, sweet Jeremy Leonard with his comic books and stained hoodie and bags of Doritos. Oh. Liza and Jeremy.

“Earth to Emory,” Priscilla says, flicking her paper and bringing me back to the moment.

“Yes,” I say. “Sorry.”

“Cool. You can be Romeo, I’ll be Juliet, and then we’ll switch. All we have to remember is that we’d literally die to be together.”

“Right,” I say. “That should be no problem at all.”



* * *



—

When Drama Club’s over, I head to the library to get Joey. He has tutoring today.

His and his tutor’s books and laptops are closed and they’re both looking down at their phones, chairs pushed together and faces close.

“Hey,” I say loudly.

They look up at me, startled.

The girl says, “Uh-oh, it’s the cops,” and giggles. She moves away from Joey a little.

Joey smiles. “It’s just my sister.” He holds up his phone. “We were playing Fortnite.”

“Weren’t you supposed to be studying?” I say, perhaps too sharply, because the ponytailed girl raises her eyebrows and gives me a look like, What’s with you?

“We did,” Joey says. “We finished early. You okay? You look…weird.”

    I’m not sure how I feel about finding Joey sitting so close to his tutor. What if she’s not a sober person? The person in recovery should avoid exposure to high-risk people, those who still use addictive substances.

“Can we just go? I’m really hungry,” I say.

The girl slips her phone into her backpack. “Call me if you need extra help. You have my number?”

Joey nods. “Yup, I got it.”

“?’K. I’m always happy to help, even outside, like, regular tutoring time.” She’s stroking the ends of her hair in a cute way, smiling up at him.

“Cool. Thanks,” he says.

There’s an air between them that feels weighty, like something’s happening that I shouldn’t be watching, and I feel irritated, though I’m not sure why. Maybe because of Liza and Jeremy, or that girl Priscilla being interested in Gage, and now this. Like everyone gets to hook up in public but me.

I sigh heavily, shift my feet deliberately. “Joey.”

“Okay,” he says tersely. “Well, I gotta go. Take my little sister home.”

I bristle. “Little?”

Joey gives me a look like, Shut up.

“See you,” the girl says.

In the hallway, I whisper, “What, so did you get any tutoring done? Or was it all just Fortnite and flirting?”

“It was Fortnite, flirting, and tutoring. And she’s super cute. Did you see her? Her name’s Amber. She’s new here this year. From South Dakota.”

“I don’t think you should be hooking up with anyone right now, do you? What if she’s not, you know. Like, sober. She could be high-risk.”

    “I’m not hooking up with anyone, I just met a cute, smart girl. It’s nice to talk to somebody who doesn’t know, you know. And it’s not like I want to spring that on her right away. ‘Hey, do you use, because if you do, you can’t be my tutor.’ And to be honest, all of high school is high-risk, if you hadn’t noticed.”

“I guess,” I say. I push open the doors of the school and a rush of warm air hits my face. There aren’t many cars left in the parking lot at this time of day.

We get into Joey’s new car. I think again about Liza and Jeremy. Me and Gage.

“Joey?”

“What?” He puts the key into the ignition. “Are we going to have another deep conversation in the car? We seem to be doing that a lot lately.”

“Ha.” I pause. “Have you ever…you know.” My words come out in a rush and I duck my head so he can’t see my face flush. I remember our health teacher last year telling us that if you couldn’t talk about sex without being embarrassed, you weren’t ready to have it. That seems wrong to me, though. I mean, bodies are weird and gooshy, as I’ve recently learned, and make odd sounds when you put two of them together, and that seems like it would be embarrassing no matter how old you are.

“Have I ever what?” He sounds annoyed as he pulls out of the parking lot. The leaves are falling from the trees. Mill Haven looks beautiful this time of year, gold and orange. Crisp, like a landscape painting, each color perfect in its own way. It makes me sad, even though I don’t know quite why.

I swallow. Knit my fingers together. “Had sex.”

I glance over at him and see his face flush deep red. “Oh my god, this is not the conversation I was expecting to have with my younger sister right now. Or maybe ever.”

    “Yes or no,” I say.