You Can’t Be Serious(83)
President Obama had spoken with Presidents Bush and Clinton, deputizing them to take the lead on fundraising efforts on behalf of the American people. In a few days, the three presidents would jointly announce the Clinton Bush Haiti Fund. Valerie and Tina asked the staff for any and all ideas we might have on how best to get the word out about it. There was something rolling around in my head, an idea that I knew I was in a unique position to bring up.
I hesitated for a second. I had been trained to be inconspicuous and do good work as a dedicated staffer, extra mindful that any transgressions could be perceived as arrogance. For this reason, I didn’t generally offer up ideas outside the mandate of my narrow portfolios: young Americans, AAPIs, and the arts. But the timing around the January 12 earthquake was full of especially unique circumstances.
* * *
The Golden Globe Awards were set to take place five days later, on January 17. I had been to the Golden Globes and Emmy Awards with my House cast and had firsthand experience with how awards-show publicity worked. The show would draw millions of viewers. If we sent some talking points to each of the nominees, I knew that most of those actors, directors, and writers would want to help by repeating them in red-carpet interviews. That would connect generous audiences at home with the best information on how to donate to those in need once the president announced the Clinton Bush Haiti Fund. I was confident that the idea was an efficient way to raise both awareness and cash quickly.
Valerie and Tina agreed. I was encouraged to run with it.
I assembled a plan that mirrored our other Public Engagement protocols. The reach and impact would be huge but the first task itself was pretty simple: Put together a contact list of Golden Globe nominees’ and their representatives—who serve as their gatekeepers—and invite them all to a conference call to run through key talking points. This was the email I sent out:
From: “Modi, Kalpen S.” <[email protected]>
Date: Fri, 15 Jan 2010 14:32:25–0500
To: <[email protected]>
Subject: White House Conference Call on Haiti
On behalf of the White House Office of Public Engagement, I wanted to extend an invitation to you and your clients to participate in a telephone briefing on the current response to the disaster in Haiti.
Since you may be asked questions on Haiti or on how to help, we are holding an off-the-record briefing to provide you with the most up-to-date information.
White House Briefing on Haiti
TODAY, Friday, January 15, 2010
3:30PM PST / 6:30PM EST
CALL: (800) 36[Redacted]
PASSCODE: Haiti Update provide in lieu of passcode
If you can’t make it, please let us know who will take your place.
Thanks,
Kalpen Modi
Associate Director, White House Office of Public Engagement
As I expected, people were overwhelmingly receptive. Everyone wanted to help. Well, almost everyone. There was one particular whopper of a response, from a publicist working with a well-liked Golden Globe nominee, that goes down as the most ridiculous email I’ve ever gotten. Because of the sheer absurdity of it, I’ve chosen to publish it here, in the spirit of humankind learning from the worst among us:
From: [Redacted X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X]
Date: Friday, January 15, 2010 3:11 PM
To: Modi, Kalpen S.
Subject: Re: White House Conference Call on Haiti
I know this is going to sound absolutely SUPERFICIAL to someone that works in DC, but I suspect I got this because of [Redacted] and with the Golden Globes being this Sunday and all hands are on deck dealing with dresses, shoes, hair, makeup, etc., we’re not going to be able to fit this in today. If there’s an email with information I’m happy to distribute that.
I couldn’t believe it. Imagine: hundreds of thousands of people have been hurt or killed in an earthquake. You have an opportunity to use your privilege to help the survivors. So, what kind of human responds with concerns about that Sunday’s “dresses, shoes, hair, makeup, etc.”? To me, the most appalling part about it is that they recognized it was “superficial”—and thought it was a good idea to go ahead and press Send anyway.
Holding my tongue, I replied to the email with the details the publicist asked for, and then got back to focusing on the job at hand. I couldn’t dwell on that bad apple, because right then, Valerie asked for help in dealing with a new issue involving another actor.
“Kal,” she said, “we got word that [XXX] is trying to take his private jet to Haiti. POTUS needs you to call him to let him know he can’t do this. The island doesn’t have enough fuel right now, so planes that are landing can’t take off again, and they take up space on the tarmac. We need to make sure we can land real aid planes as quickly as possible.”
Jesus. As if shoes and makeup weren’t bad enough, now an actor was trying to fly down to Haiti to be a hero, and it was my job to stop him. I called my buddy Tommy Vietor, who had recently been promoted to National Security Council spokesman (and was being deployed to Port-au-Prince himself), for more background on the actor. “Yeah, this situation is shitty,” he confirmed. “He actually seems like a good guy. He’s trying to bring three nurses with him and has volunteered in the country previously, so I’m sure he’s desperate to help everyone he knows there. Basically, since the Haitians control their own airspace and landing, we can’t prevent him from going. But it looks like he might try to pay them off in order to land his jet. It’s true that he’ll take up space on the tarmac, and those larger aid planes won’t be able to land.”