Wrapped Up in You (Heartbreaker Bay, #8)(74)

“I don’t do that,” Ivy said.

Everyone snorted in unison and Ivy sighed. “Fine. I suck at feelings. Whatever.”

“You don’t suck at feelings,” Sadie said. “If anything, it’s the opposite. Did you know that ever since you started seeing Kel, you’ve been . . . happier?”

Everyone nodded.

“And more open,” Sadie said. “You smile, and it goes all the way to your eyes.”

Ivy started to immediately pull back, both her hand and in fact her entire body, but she froze.

She was fidgeting.

Dammit.

“You do that,” Sadie went on. “Because, as I suspect, as we suspect . . .”

Again everyone nodded.

“. . . That you’re feeling things . . . things you’re not used to feeling.”

Ivy blew out a breath. “You’re not wrong.”

“We thought maybe you’d want to talk about it,” Haley said gently.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” Sadie said, just as gently. “But from experience as someone who denied all emotions for too long, I can tell you that facing them head on like a badass bitch is the only way to go. Otherwise, they chase you, follow you, haunt you, and believe me, those suckers can outpace you, I swear. You need to just get in front of them and turn and fight.”

“I’ve been fighting all my life,” Ivy said. “I’m tired of it. I wanted someone to fight for me. For once.”

“Tell us what happened?” Sadie asked quietly.

“You mean you don’t already know?”

They all looked at each other.

They knew.

But Sadie held Ivy’s gaze and spoke for the group. “We want to hear it from our friend. We want to know what you want us to know so we can help. Or just stand at your back. Whatever it is you need.”

So . . . she told them. For the first time in her life, she opened up, starting with her childhood and how she’d walked away from that as soon as she could. She told them about coming to San Francisco last year and first working for the guy who owned the taco truck, and then with Caleb’s help, buying the truck. She told them about managing to scrimp and cut out all extras in her life in order to put away half of the down payment for her condo, and how Caleb had intended to match her half in exchange for her continuing to cater for him as needed.

They all nodded and made encouraging noises whenever she hesitated, wanting her to go on.

So she did. She went on to the hardest part. She told them about Brandon, about the lies she’d told them all over the past year. That she’d made up stories about Brandon being such good family because she hated the truth.

Sadie squeezed her hand. “Oh, honey, I wish you could’ve told us. I’m sorry you went through all this alone.”

“I was ashamed,” Ivy admitted, willing herself not to cry. “After hiding so much from you, I couldn’t tell. Not even when Brandon showed back up and I knew I was in trouble. It’s all on me. I let him back into my life, and he hurt a good man and ruined my relationship with . . . well, everyone.” She lowered her gaze. “I appreciate you listening to me. Having you guys as friends this past year has meant so much to me. I was the new girl, and not a single one of you made me feel like I wasn’t wanted, or left out.” She stood up. “But now I really need to . . .” She made a vague wave toward her truck.

Sadie caught her hand. “You know we love you, right?”

Ivy had to swallow hard. “I lied to all of you. Friends don’t lie.”

“I lied to everyone when my girlfriend was cheating on me a while back,” Haley said. “I told everyone I was fine. That was a huge, big fat lie.”

Tae nodded. “We only found out she wasn’t fine when we found her in the courtyard drunk, sobbing out her troubles to the firepit while wearing only one shoe.”

“Hey,” Haley said. “I didn’t have any coins on me so I’d thrown my shoe into the fountain to make a wish. Plus, I thought I was talking to Old Man Eddie. But he’d fallen asleep on me.”

Old Man Eddie might not live in the alley anymore, but he was still the keeper of the firepit. He had lots of sage advice—on the days he wasn’t eating his homemade marijuana brownies.

“I’ve lied too,” Sadie said. “By omission. Before I got together with Caleb, I was afraid to let people in. Thought they wouldn’t like me. I pushed away anyone and everyone who tried to be my friend.”

Haley nodded to Ivy. “Yep. She did that. Big-time.”

“And I was the ‘I’m okay’ girl,” Molly said. “Which was a huge lie. I just never wanted anyone’s help because I didn’t want to be vulnerable.”

“I’ve lied too,” Tae said and then paused. “I know I’ve been away for a while, and I came back without really telling anyone why. It’s because I got a divorce. It was bad, and I’m broke. That’s why I’m living with my brother at the marina. I tell people it’s all good, but it’s not. The relationship was toxic and dangerous to my mental well-being, and I’m still working on being okay.”

Sadie slipped an arm around her. “All of us are working on being okay. You’re not alone.” She met Ivy’s gaze. “And neither are you. None of us are. We have each other.”