Woven in Moonlight (Woven in Moonlight #1)(85)

Is that all that I am? I can’t seem to stop hurting the people I care about.

“You don’t deny it,” he says. “And you snared El Lobo; that must have been quite a triumph for you, Illustrian.”

My blood is rioting. “Don’t make this ugly.”

“It already is.”

“Rumi,” I say, fighting for patience. “I’ve changed. But I wasn’t the one you needed to convince. Catalina will never give up her right to the throne. She’s going to bring down whatever army she has left during Carnaval. I know you won’t believe this—”

“Very true,” he says, deceptively calm.

“Rumi, listen to me.” Once again I reach for him, but he won’t let me near and I crumble. “I gave you the location of the Estrella. You, not her.”

“You might have lied. This could be part of your plan.”

“I’m not lying to you.” A flash of indignation flares. “You kept your identity a secret too.”

“You’re comparing what you did to my behavior? We both took off our masks, and I thought we were on equal footing, but you still had one more trick up your sleeve!” He spits out a bitter laugh. “But fine. That’s fair. We’re liars, the both of us. All the more reason why I can’t trust you.” He pauses. “Or myself.”

Something detonates within me, bright and warm. I worry that it’s hope. He still cares.

“You were right after all,” he says softly. “This was never going to work between us. Too many secrets.”

It lands like a physical hit. I almost double over, but I force myself to remain upright. It’s hard to hear his bitterness and disappointment. Hard to hear that it’s over—even though it was inevitable. My eyes burn, but I will myself not to cry. I choke on the words. “What happens now?”

“You know everything,” he whispers. “The princesa, the location of the Estrella. My identity. Everything. You can ruin us. Destroy everything we’ve worked for.”

I shake my head. “I wouldn’t do that.”

“Is that true?” He leans forward, examining my face. “Not even if it meant saving your people?”

“That’s not fair.”

“I know,” Rumi says in an almost gentle voice. It sounds terribly sad. He swallows and unsheathes his sword. “You’re a liability. I can’t—I won’t—let you leave.”

A weird numbness spreads over me. There’s no going back from this. My hand moves to the hilt of my weapon. Seconds pass as I deliberate. And then I let it drop. I choose not to fight him. If I do, the consequences would be irrevocable. Stupidly, I cling to hope that he’ll trust me. That he won’t hurt me or turn me in.

“You know too much.” He says it like he’s convincing himself. As if he’s gearing up for what he has to do, but not what he wants to do. In this moment he’s both boys I’ve known.

Rumi, the healer.

El Lobo, the vigilante.

I don’t know who will win.

Rumi holds up his blade and points it at me. He takes a step forward until I’m backed up against the stone wall. The blade presses into my skin, over my heart. I wince when the tip pierces my flesh.

“I haven’t shared any of this with Catalina. She doesn’t know where the Estrella is. I talked to her myself. Go to Lago Yaku—you’ll see that I’ve told you the truth.”

Rumi’s control is seconds from shattering; I can see it in the way his hand continues to shake. The cool steel of the blade trembles against my skin.

“When did you talk to her?”

“The day Juan Carlos took me to El Mercado for salte?as.”

“The day you disappeared on him,” he says flatly. “We wondered where you went.”

“I was trying to convince her to relinquish the throne. To let Tamaya rule Inkasisa. She refused, and I made my choice tonight when I told you the location of the Estrella. That’s the truth, Rumi.”

His face darkens. “Why should I believe you?”

My heart hammers wildly. I’m unable to speak, my feelings too raw for words. His blade hurts against my skin and he’s asking me to risk my heart further when there’s a risk he’ll only destroy it. My revelation may not be enough to save what’s between us.

“Give me proof,” he says, almost, almost pleading. “Give me one infallible reason why I shouldn’t kill you where you stand.”

A flutter dances in my ribs. His nostrils flare, a dark storm thundering on his brow.

My gaze locks with his. “I’ve lied to you, and I’m sorry for hurting you. I’ve come to care about the people you hold dear. I’m rooting for everyone I met tonight, and I’ll fight alongside you all. You say you want proof? I don’t have anything concrete to offer, but know this: If I were lying, I wouldn’t have told you my secret. If I were lying, I would never have sat down at the same table as the man who tortured me and murdered my friend if I didn’t believe in your fight.”

The blade’s pressure lessens. “This is a mistake.”

The words don’t sound like they’re for me, but a response to the internal conversation he seems to be having with himself.

“Rumi.”

His sword clatters to the stone. “Go back to the castillo, Illustrian.”