Woven in Moonlight (Woven in Moonlight #1)(67)

I wish I knew.

“That’s quite a concession,” she says. “Condesa.”

My chest tightens. I’m not her. I’m not Catalina.

“Do you know the story of the jaguar?”

I blink. “What?”

“It’s the perfect story to describe my brother—the jaguar king who had everything: a kingdom filled with loyal subjects. But every day he’d look to the sky and was jealous of the birds that could soar to the heavens. The jaguar king wanted the impossible.”

I remember the story. “He wanted to fly.”

She nods. “He wasn’t happy with the gifts he’d been given. He wanted more.”

“Maybe he thinks by marrying an Illustrian, he might have their support?”

The princesa arches a brow. “Making you queen won’t win their support. He could have had that without marrying … had he made different choices.”

The words hang in the air.

The princesa pulls more wool from her basket. “Will your reign look different than your aunt’s? And her father’s? And his father?” I shift on the couch. What does she mean by asking me this? It feels like a test. One that I’ll fail because I have to answer as Catalina. She wouldn’t change a thing. The condesa wants our old way of life back.

“What would you change?” I ask.

“I would make the system fair,” she says. “We all want the same things: opportunities and means for everyone to earn their bread; freedom of self-expression without consequences; for all children, not just Illustrians, to attend school—”

“What world do you live in, princesa? That doesn’t sound like Inkasisa.”

Her eyes blaze. “But it can be. Look into your heart, Condesa. I know you have your own ambitions, your own dreams and wishes. My heart is no different than yours. Why is it so hard to believe that even enemies may want the same things?”

I do believe her. And the realization shakes me to my soul. If I lived in that reality, then my whole life was for what? What about my parents? What about Catalina? Wasn’t all of this—risking everything—for her? To put the right person back on the throne?

The princesa’s eyes widen. “Don’t you think it’s possible? With the right person, can’t you see it?”

Ximena the decoy can. Inkasisa needs a leader who’d unite them. If Atoc would have ruled like his sister wanted, perhaps we’d come to see things their way. But now the idea of another Llacsan monarch will only enrage everyone back at the keep. Atoc behaved in the exact manner the Illustrians had expected.

Corrupt. Power hungry. Ruthless. Ignorant.

Tamaya would be a much better ruler than Catalina—who barely has a handle on the Illustrians at the keep. I know this the way I know a well-thrown dagger always finds its target. But Catalina? Becoming queen would make things right for her family. It’d honor her parents’ memory. She will never give that up. Not for all the silver in the mountain.

My breath catches. Or would she?

“What if people can’t change?”

The princesa gives a little laugh. “You don’t believe that. You only have to look at yourself to see that it’s possible. People change. For better or for worse, like my brother, they always do.”

Her words sink in, faintly uncomfortable. I can’t ignore that parts of me have changed any more than I can stop a river’s journey downstream.

“I’m going to trust you with a secret,” Princesa Tamaya says, leaning toward me. “Something only a few people know. People loyal to me. You don’t show much, but even I can see that you’re coming to understand who we are. I’m not your enemy.”

“I believe you.”

Luna save me, but I really do.

“I don’t want to find the Estrella to have power over Atoc.” She takes a deep breath. “I want to destroy the Estrella.”

My jaw drops. Destroy the most powerful weapon in Inkasisa?

“A power so evil shouldn’t exist,” she says. “No one ought to have it. Not Atoc, not you, not even me. I want you to think about my plan—don’t discard it simply because it’s not what you’d do. Really think about what’s best for Inkasisa. I promise you, that’s all I want.”

Her sincerity, her passion for Inkasisa is as tangible as a warm blanket wrapped around my shoulders. Her words only confirm my instinct about her—I like the princesa. I didn’t expect to, but I do. In another life, we might have been friends.

The thought wars with my sense of loyalty and duty. It fights against the love I have for Catalina and Ana, and my dead parents. I don’t want to be a decoy anymore. I want the luxury of having my own thoughts and opinions govern my decisions.

“If you decide it’s the best way forward, I need you to find El Lobo and tell him where the Estrella is hidden. He’ll destroy it.”

“Are you sure he’s trustworthy?”

Her eyes flash. “Condesa, he’s made more sacrifices for Inkasisa than anyone I know. I trust him with my life.”

“Why don’t you tell him yourself?”

She shakes her head. “Atoc has more guards posted—it’s too risky for him to sneak in like before. He can never be caught. Too much depends on him.”

But I don’t trust the vigilante, and I’m about to say so when the door snaps open. It’s Juan Carlos and another one of my guards, come to fetch me. “His Majesty wants you back in your own room, Condesa. Sorry to spoil the party.”