Within These Wicked Walls(90)

“Jember, stop. I’m not going anywhere without you.” I lay against him, my ear to his heart, my arms around him like letting go would disintegrate me. I felt his hand grip my back, his fingers trembling. As long as they trembled there was life in him, at least, as much as it killed me to feel it.

I looked at Saba, who sat beside him, peeling off his glove so she could lace her fingers against his skin. She saw me watching her and gave a small, sad smile, touching my cheek with her smooth, cool hand.

“You said those same words the night we met,” Jember murmured, his breath warm against my hair.

I didn’t remember ever trusting Jember so fully, but I supposed the dark memories had crowded the good ones out. His hand on my back twitched, and I held him closer, as if that would keep the life in him for longer. “Tell me the story.”

“I was on my way to drink myself to death—”

“Jember, no,” I groaned, “don’t tell me that.”

“You wanted the story … anyway, I never got around to it. I saw you walking into the brothel between your parents. You were so small, I remember … I don’t know what came over me. I slipped in, picked you up, and went out the back window.”

“What happened next?” I asked. His voice was getting weaker, but I didn’t want him to stop. I wanted to hear his voice for as long as I could.

“We almost got caught because you wouldn’t stop talking.” I could practically feel his eyes roll in his tone, and I laughed. He was quiet for a moment, and I tapped his shoulder firmly to keep him awake. “When I got you home, you said you wouldn’t go anywhere without me … then fell asleep on me, just like this. That’s when I decided I couldn’t die yet. At least not until you could take care of yourself.”

“No, you couldn’t.” I lifted my face to look at him. His eyes were heavy and dark with pain and fatigue. “And you can’t now, either.”

He moved, but I couldn’t tell if it was a wince or a shrug. “You can take care of yourself, Andi. You’ve been able to for a while now.”

“What does that matter?” I practically yelled. “I want you here with me. Stay with me because I’m asking you to…” Sobs choked me briefly, blocking my words. “Please stay.”

“I’m dying.”

“No,” I said, panic making my voice tremble. “You can’t.”

“My blood loss disagrees with you.”

Maybe that was meant to make me laugh, but I burst into tears instead. Jember didn’t tell me to stop. He just held me while I held him. I heard movement, saw Magnus lie in front of Saba, head in her lap, and reach over to rub my shoulder. He had gotten a throw blanket from the other room, hugging it around his shivering nakedness.

“One amulet left,” Jember said. And then he swore quietly and leaned his head against Saba’s as she leaned on his shoulder. “I’ll try to hold on until you finish…”

I saw Saba pull up his sleeve and write with her finger on his bare arm. He sighed in agreement, and then none of us said another word.

Magnus quickly dug in the satchel hanging off Jember, handing me another silver disk with trembling hands.

I stayed where I was to keep Jember’s arm around me, just shifted onto my side to get both arms where they needed to be. And I got to work.

The amulet to bar the Evil Eye from returning was really similar to the ones we’d created as shields. It felt almost too easy compared to the other one, almost like a trick. But, as I worked, the temperature was creeping back to normal, the regular chill of the desert night pleasantly warm compared to the supernatural temperature it had been.

And then I couldn’t sense any more strokes.

“Finished?” Jember murmured, even though I was sure he could sense it, too.

“Yes,” I said, but I wished I wasn’t. I wished it had hours and hours to go. I wished Jember wasn’t injured. I wished the four of us were leaving here together … “I’m finished.”

“Good girl…”

His muscles relaxed a little more. He was no longer trying to stay.

We stayed that way for what felt like an hour, at least, though it couldn’t have been that long … until I could no longer feel Jember’s fingers tremble on my back, until his muscles went slack against me … until his heart sounded like nothing in my ear.

By then I had prepared myself for the end. I felt … calm, almost. When I sat up to look at him, it just looked like he was sleeping. It was only the blood soaking his clothes and pooling beneath him, and Saba’s freely flowing tears that told me otherwise.

But no, not freely anymore. Just streaked, dripping from her soulless nose and chin … like rain running off a statue. She was frozen as she had been sitting—cross-legged, her head against Jember’s shoulder, her fingers laced through his.

Both of them, still. Both of them, lifeless.

I made a cross from my forehead to chest, shoulder to shoulder. And then I kissed Jember’s cheek and carefully removed the amulet from around his neck and put it on.

Magnus had stood up before I did, pressing against the opposite wall, staring at the two of them. When I joined him he dropped his gaze, as if embarrassed to be looking. “I’m so sorry,” he murmured.

“He’s not in pain anymore.” It was dim in the hall, the candles burning low, but it was obvious Magnus was pale. He’d tried to wipe the blood from around his mouth with the blanket, but some was still smudged and dried there. “Are you okay?”