Winter World (The Long Winter #1)(82)

I stop walking and stare at him. He actually thinks I’m going to stay here while he goes out there and risks his life on the mission? Never. I’m going with him. I know we’re going to fight about this. And it will be a fight to the end, because it’s not something I’m going to give up on. No matter what.





That night, Abby and her children come over. Jack and Sarah seem to be adapting well to life here in Camp Seven. Madison, David, and their two children come over too. And Oscar’s here, of course. It’s probably the closest we’ll ever get to an extended family reunion.

We have dinner, and afterward James has a surprise for everyone: a robotic dog. It barks and does tricks and everyone is floored when it actually talks. The kids are obsessed with it. Half the fun is figuring out what it’s capable of doing and how it will react. There are no pets here in the camp. In the race to get here, they were deemed a luxury. Extra mouths to feed at a time when the government wasn’t sure they could even feed all the humans.

As the world has gotten colder, Abby has thawed. She and I have actually become friends. She’s gone from being standoffish to cordial to actually nice to James. I’m glad to see it.

Noticeably absent is James’s brother. I’ve begun to wonder if Alex will ever come around. James has never let on that it bothers him, but I know it must. Alex is the only family he has left.

When everyone is gone, we straighten our humble abode. It’s sort of nice having a messy house for once. James, Oscar, and I generally keep it in order—with the exception of James’s office, which is easily remedied by closing the door. You can tell kids have been playing here. I almost don’t want to destroy the evidence.

When we’re done, James sits at the dining table and studies his tablet while I do the same. Oscar watches an educational video on the AtlanticNet, a series about mining. When he first began watching the series, I wasn’t sure why. Now I know: he’s studying up to help support the construction of the Citadel. Or perhaps in case there’s an accident down there. Educational videos seem to be all he watches. I haven’t been able to identify any hobbies or affinities he has outside of helping me with rehabilitation and assisting James with his research.

There are a couple of things I have to talk to James about. I’ve been putting them off, dreading them, but I can’t wait anymore. After seeing the ship today, and what he said, it needs to happen.

I motion to the living area, where my exercise equipment dominates almost half of the floor space.

“We could get a lot of this out of here.”

He looks confused.

“It would open up more space for the kids to play. As cold as it is, they won’t be able to play outside much longer.”

“There’s the gym.”

“Which is constantly crowded.”

He glances at the exercise equipment again. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Your recovery is the most important thing going on in this house.”

I chew my lip for a second.

“What if I told you my recovery is finished?” I say.

He sets down the tablet. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, that I’ve probably made all the progress I’m ever going to make. This is my life. From here on out. Walking with a cane, the fatigue, the brittle bones.”

“Doesn’t mean you should stop exercising.”

“True. But I can get all the exercise I need at the rec center at one of the barracks. I’m sure some folks would like to use this equipment. I appreciate you bringing it here. When it was harder for me to walk, it was really nice to have it close by.”

He just nods.

I can feel my palms getting sweaty now, anticipating our next conversation.

“How do you feel about the fact that I’m not going to get much better?”

He studies me curiously, as if he doesn’t understand the question.

“Well,” he says, “how do you feel about it?”

I smile nervously. “I asked you first.”

“All right. I knew your rehabilitation would be an uphill battle, and that you would plateau somewhere. I know you led a very active life before. I knew it would be an adjustment. But frankly, life is an adjustment for all of us right now. Everything’s changing. We’re having to reassess our own capabilities and whether we can cope with this new reality. In some sense, we’re all going through what you’re going through. The whole human race is learning to walk again.”

“How does it change the way you feel about me?”

He gets that same confused look. A flicker of fear runs through me. Have I completely misjudged what’s happening between us?

There’s a knock at the door, and James rises and rushes over to it, perhaps happy to be off the hook. I desperately want him to answer that question. I need an answer to it.

I hear Fowler’s voice. From his tone, I know it’s important. I walk over, making the best speed I can without my cane, but Fowler is already gone by the time I get there.

James’s face is a mix of excitement and apprehension.

“The meeting is set. Fowler and I are going to Caspia to make our presentation.”

“What presentation?”

“We’re going to ask for their help.”

“You think they’ll agree?”