Window Shopping(38)

When voices from inside the bar seem to grow louder, traveling closer to the open-air rooftop, I lumber through the fog of hunger and remind myself where we are. As hard as it’s going to be to stop touching her now that I’ve got that perfect slickness wrapped around my fingers, there’s no choice. Goddamn. Reluctance grits my teeth as I slide my hand out of her panties, fixing them back into place and tugging down her skirt, resting our foreheads together while we get our breathing under control. Some people walk out onto the roof behind us, lighting up cigarettes, but I don’t recognize any of the voices and we remain just like this until finally, my brain is able to form semi-coherent thoughts.

“I’ll go downstairs first. Wait five minutes and follow me. I’ll meet you outside.”

Stella’s eyes lift to mine, searching. “I’m pushing you to do this and it isn’t you. I can’t…”

I panic when she shakes her head, beginning to slip out from between me and the wall. But I press her back firmly to the brick, letting her feel my hard cock. I look her in the eye as I do it, cupping her chin in my hand and lifting. There’s a part of me that knows she’s right. This isn’t me. Sneaking around. Hiding what I feel and want and know is right.

And because I never want to be anything less than one hundred percent honest with Stella, I tell her exactly what I’m thinking. Exactly what’s in my head and heart. “Being dishonest is not me. You’re right. But it’s not you, either. I don’t think it ever was. We’re going to meet somewhere in the middle tonight and find out who we could be. What that could feel like.” I drop my mouth to hers and kiss her for the first time, pressing my tongue deep into her shocked mouth, moaning in my throat when she responds, her body melting against mine, our tongues stroking like they’ve been starved for contact. She’s about to scale me like a rock-climbing wall, and while I want that more than my next breath, I pull away, panting, before we can make a scene. “Meet me downstairs in five minutes.”





9





Stella





After Aiden leaves, I lean against the cold brick wall on the rooftop for a few minutes trying to catch my breath. Then I pull the quickest goodbye in history, which consists of me passing by the lounge section where everyone is sitting with my phone pressed to my ear, grabbing my jacket and mouthing I have a family thing okay bye. I definitely take note that Jordyn and Seamus are sitting beside each other. Jordyn looks nothing short of dazed and Seamus might have just won the lottery for the triumphant set of his chin. I’ll definitely be getting the inside scoop tomorrow. For now, though…I’m apparently going home with my boss.

No. He’s more than that.

He’s Aiden.

And…I’ve never felt like this. Never had these fluttering fingers of sensation in my belly over anyone. Or this hot-cold tremor in my knees. As I step into the elevator and hit the down button, I’m worried I’ll burst into hysterical laughter at any moment and freak out the other passengers. But oh my God, my body. What did he do to my body? Inside and out, I’m a mess of shivers and hormones and need. I actually need him.

His hands. His voice. His mouth. His weight against me. Above me.

I let the bow tie fool me, didn’t I?

When he told me he could be downright rough, I didn’t fully comprehend his meaning. Or maybe I thought he was exaggerating. He wasn’t. This man just yanked up my skirt in public, touched my body like he’d been studying it his whole life and growled at me. Possessive things, jealous things that should turn me off, but oh lord, they don’t. The fact that a skilled lover is lurking beneath the surface of this buttoned-up gentleman has skyrocketed his appeal to the moon and I’ve been carried along with it. I’m without gravity. Floating.

I loved his fingers inside of me. Every brutally wild second. Loved his jealous words in my ear, especially because he’s so conflicted over them. It’s bad but he can’t help it.

He’s going to rock my world tonight, isn’t he?

Dammit.

When I step out of the building downstairs, Aiden is waiting at the curb, leaning against the side of his black town car. A muscle leaps in his cheek when he sees me. Without coming up from his lean or taking his eyes off me, he opens the back door and nods for me to get inside. It’s such a smooth move, the panties are almost incinerated straight off my backside.

Oh man, I like this. I like that Aiden came here for me. That he told Braxton to get lost and now he’s bringing me home. This man thinks about me in his spare time and changes his plans to include me. The boys in my memory made any time spent together seem like an accident. Almost like they didn’t want me to get the wrong impression that they cared. While Aiden…he’s the epitome of care. And for some reason, he’s decided to offer the warm security of his presence to me. He’s offering me a relationship. A constant.

More than once, he’s stated plainly what he wants from this, from us. My impulse is to give it to him. To march into human resources and check the right boxes, cross the T’s and dot the I’s. But that would put me all in. I’d be invested. More importantly, I’d be telling Aiden I’m invested—and I have barely started investing in myself. I’m just starting to find my sea legs. The world is this massive place without the prison walls keeping me penned in. Every day, I’m trying to walk the same path, hoping it will wear into a permanent walkway. A constant.