Wilder Girls(80)

We follow the blood back out of the ward, down the hallway and through the lobby. It leads past the stairwell and along a narrowing corridor that twists sharply. The trail gets fainter, but it doesn’t give out, and here and there, scattered along the wall, are handprints, as if somebody leaned on it to keep themselves upright.

After a third corner the air begins to smell of the outside, fresh and clean. I speed up, Reese at my shoulder. And then it’s there, a door, dented and half open. And beyond it, grass and daylight.

I slam through it, stumble out into a small pockmarked yard. A chain-link fence closing us in, and beyond it trees bristling thick with leaves. This must be around the back of the building, pressed up right against the woods. Above us the sky is vivid blue, uncluttered with clouds.

I almost don’t see her. A ways down, propped up against the wall of the center, body so small and crumpled, jacket wrapped tight around what’s left of her.

   “Byatt?”

I’m running, feet pounding the earth, and I crash to my knees by her side. It’s a mess, it’s awful, but I can’t look away. Snow scattered across her dark hair. A bandage around her arm, soaked through with blood, her skin so pale I can almost see through it, and a Raxter Iris clutched in her pure black fingers. She’s cold. Her body’s so cold.

“Byatt. Byatt, hey, come on. It’s me, it’s Hetty.”

No answer. I feel for a pulse at her neck, but I’m shaking too hard, and she’s looking right at me, eyes bright and warm, just the way I remember them. Only there’s nothing behind them now. No life, no hidden place. I stroke her hair back, and it’s a year ago and a month ago and the first day we met all at once. Byatt sneaking me food from the kitchen, Byatt calling my parents for me when I failed a test, Byatt saving me a seat during evening mass, Byatt, Byatt, holding me through nightmares, always walking on my blind side and resting her hand on my elbow until I learned not to need it. My friend, my sister—part of who I am.

“The doctors dosed her with the gas,” Reese says, and I drag myself back to the world. “She must’ve known she was dying.”

Byatt, with the end almost on her. Taking her body back. Coming out here, away from where they put her.

A sob shatters me, and I press my face into the curve of Byatt’s neck, give over to the shake of my body. Headmistress told me, but I couldn’t believe it. Byatt’s too big, too much to ever disappear. How could anybody do this to her? How could Paretta have met her and not seen what she’s worth?

   “What do you want to do?” Reese asks when I’ve quieted. “I don’t think we can take her.”

“What?”

“We can’t stay here forever. The school’s probably destroyed by now, and the jets will be here soon.”

“I’m not leaving her,” I say, adjusting Byatt’s jacket.

“But—”

“I said I’m not leaving her.” And I don’t know how we’re getting around this, because I’m not giving in and neither is Reese. I can see it in the set of her jaw. Staying here is dangerous, I know that, but after everything I’ve done to find Byatt, I’m not leaving her now.

Reese sighs, and it looks like she’s about to say something when there’s a cough, a slight hitch in breathing, and I jump. Turn slowly, almost afraid to look.

She’s alive. Byatt, chest barely moving, eyes blinking as she opens her mouth.

“Oh my God.” I brace my hand behind her head to support her neck. “Byatt, can you hear me?”

Finally, she tilts her head, and she looks at me, and I can feel the smile slip from my face. Something’s off. “Byatt?”

   “What is it?” Reese says.

“I’m not sure.” I take Byatt’s hand in mine, press it against my cheek. “It’s me. It’s Hetty.”

Nothing. No recognition. Byatt’s face, but nobody’s there.

“I don’t understand,” Reese says. “They gave her the gas. How is she still alive?”

I look down at her hand, limp and bony in mine. And the bandage on her arm, the edges of a gash peeking out from underneath.

“She’s alive because she took it out,” I say.

“What?”

“The gas was supposed to kill the Tox. But she took it out. So there was nothing for it to kill.” Byatt’s eyes unfocus, leaving her staring just over my shoulder. “And it’s like she came out with it. Her personality, her everything.”

Reese crouches down at Byatt’s feet, and we watch Byatt’s head slowly swing around to look at her. At first I think there’s something, a spark in her, but it’s gone before I’m sure I saw it.

“Let’s see if she can move,” Reese says. “You’re not strong enough to help, and I’m not sure I can get her to the boat carrying her on my own.”

Too hurt, she means, but she’d never say it. Not even now, after everything.

I get on one side and Reese gets on the other, and together we’re heaving Byatt to her feet when a low roar kicks up, soft but growing, in the distance. The jets. My mouth goes dry, fear lifting the hair on the back of my neck.

   “Shit,” I say. “We have to hurry.”

Byatt’s steps are halting, like she’s only just learning how to move her limbs, but we start heading for the door back into the center.