Wild is the Witch (74)

Cassandra listens, watching me the whole time, but doesn’t write down a single thing.

“You should have called us immediately, as soon as the owl flew away,” she finally says.

“I know. But I didn’t think the owl was in any immediate danger. I thought I could bring him back to the refuge, unbind the curse, and fix it without…” My words trail off and my eyes fill with tears. “Without the council finding out. Without losing my sense.”

“The way Amy lost hers,” Cassandra says, and I nod.

“Yes.” The word is just a whisper.

Cassandra closes her folio and checks her watch. Then she turns to my mom. “Isobel, Pike should be waiting outside. Would you please send him in and give the three of us some privacy?”

“Pike is here?” I ask, my heart racing.

I haven’t talked with him since we were on the mountain. Mom gave me updates when he was in surgery, and he was released from the hospital two days ago, but he hasn’t responded to any of my texts. I swallow hard.

“I’ll be right outside, honey,” Mom says. She squeezes my leg as she passes by the foot of the bed, then opens the door. I hear her exchange a few words with someone, and my heart pounds as I stare at her back. After several seconds, she steps fully outside the room, and Pike comes in a moment later.

He pauses as soon as our eyes meet. He’s on crutches and his leg is in a splint that goes all the way to his thigh, but the color has returned to his face and he looks healthy. I want to reach out to him, touch him, tell him how sorry I am. How worried I’ve been. How much I miss him. But I don’t move.

Cassandra slips out of the room, and I try to think of what to say, try to find the right words when there aren’t any. We watch each other, and I begin to speak but then Cassandra returns carrying a folding chair, and the moment is gone.

“Have a seat,” she says to Pike, and he does as he’s told.

“I’ll get right to the point. It’s against the law to turn someone into a mage when it results in bodily harm or death, or when a person is turned against their will. We simply don’t have many cases like this because the risk of death is so great, which is why the law is written the way that it is.” Cassandra pauses, and I’m sure we’re both thinking about Amy. She swallows, then continues. “In the absence of those three things, the charge is downgraded to reckless use of magic, which carries much lighter consequences. Under normal circumstances, I would have this conversation with Pike separately, but when I met with him yesterday, he felt it was important to wait until he could communicate his decision to you in person.”

“His decision?” I look at Cassandra, then over to Pike, but he avoids my eyes. His gaze falls to his lap, and his glasses slip down his nose. He pushes them back up and I notice that the lens is still cracked, and for some reason, it makes the pain in my chest worse.

“Pike is alive, and his broken leg cannot be attributed to being turned into a mage. If we are to proceed with criminal charges, Pike must be willing to testify that he was turned against his will.”

It feels as if all the air has left the room. I try to steady my breathing and remain calm, but panic rises inside me. This shouldn’t be put on Pike, and I hate that after everything he’s been through, there’s still more for him to carry.

He finally looks up at me, and his expression is sad. Angry. Conflicted.

“It’s okay,” I tell him, keeping my voice even so he believes me. This is my fault, not his, and I will accept the consequences just as he’s been forced to do. “I promise you. It’s okay.”

Cassandra says his name. “Have you made your decision?”

“Yes.” He holds my gaze for one more breath, then turns to Cassandra. My stomach squeezes and I feel like I might throw up. “I will not testify that I was turned against my will.”

“Pike,” I say, sitting up in bed, forcing him to look at me. “You don’t have to lie for me.”

“I’m not lying for you,” he says, his voice adamant. “There was a time I would have thought this was the coolest thing in the world.” He pauses, and it looks as if he might cry. Then he takes a deep breath and regains himself. “I’d rather spend my time trying to find that wonder again than convincing myself that I don’t care about what happens to you, because only one of those scenarios seems even remotely possible.”

“I don’t want you to regret this,” I say, my voice barely audible.

“Neither do I, which is why I made the decision I did.” Pike turns to Cassandra. “My mind is made up.”

“Very well,” she says.

“Is that all you need from me?” Pike asks.

“For now, yes.”

He nods and stands, grabbing his crutches and looking at me before he leaves. I try not to blink out of fear of breaking the connection, so relieved he’s here, in front of me, safe.

“You cursed me, but you also risked your life trying to undo it. That means something,” he says.

Then he leaves.

I exhale, loud and heavy, and lean back in my bed, suddenly exhausted. Mom walks back in and sits down on the couch without saying a word.

“He’s right, you know,” Cassandra says. She takes off her glasses and rubs her face, a break in demeanor I’m not sure how to interpret. “I’m not going to go into the details of what Amy’s life has been like since that night. You were there—I’m sure it’s not hard for you to imagine. I’ve spent the last two years wishing I would have tried to find a loophole, wishing I could have saved my sister from losing her magic after losing the person she loved. That is my biggest regret, and I will carry it always.”