Wicked (A Wicked Trilogy #1)(103)

A relieved smile appeared on his face, softening the dark shadows under his eyes. His hair looked like he'd run his hand through it many times. He stared at me a moment then reached for the stand next to the bed. "You thirsty?"

I started to nod but realized that wasn't a smart idea. "Yeah."

Ren poured water from a pitcher into a plastic cup. "Okay. Just a little." He slipped one hand carefully under my head and lifted, bringing the cup to my lips. The cool water stung my mouth and throat, but it was like swallowing heaven. He pulled back before I could chug it like a college drinking game. I glared at him with one eye.

"Slowly." He laughed, his eyes lightening. "I don't want you to get sick on top . . ." His jaw flexed as he thrust those fingers through his hair again. "On top of everything else."

Everything else—my aching face, battered ribs, but I was alive and that shocked me, because I'd felt something serious break inside me. Something really bad. My brows pinched.

"God, Ivy . . ." Clearing his throat, he leaned down and kissed me gently on the tip of my nose. "I haven't spent one moment not freaking the fuck out. I thought . . . when I saw you in that room . . ."

The raw pain in his voice hurt to hear. "I'm okay, I think."

"You think?" He laughed outright at that, his laugh deep and throaty. When he lifted his head, I thought there was a sheen to his eyes. "You're in the hospital near your house—Kindred Hospital. We couldn't keep you at headquarters."

After another slow drink of water, I managed to get my tongue working. "How . . . what's happened?"

"Ivy." He carefully brushed back a wayward curl as a look of deep pain sliced through his features. "Do you not remember?"

"I . . . remember." I settled back against the pillows, strangely exhausted despite the fact I had a feeling I'd been playing Sleeping Beauty for a while. "What day is it?"

He didn't look like he wanted to answer at first. "Saturday night."

"What?" I started to sit up, panic exploding like buckshot, but he gently pressed down on my shoulders.

"It's okay. You need to stay in this bed. Just for a little longer. You were hurt pretty badly, Ivy." His hands lingered.

"But . . ." I glanced around the room, seeing that we were alone. "But the knights—the prince, they got out."

He shook his head. "Strangely, it wasn't the giant apocalypse that we thought it would be. The Order—what's left of the Order—has been on patrol every night since then. We haven't seen a single knight or that motherfucker. David and a few are heading to Flux tonight, but I have a feeling they aren't going to find anything there."

My thoughts were sluggish, trying to follow what he was saying. "That doesn't make sense."

"No, not really, but wherever they are, whatever they're doing, they are in hiding." He smiled at me, but the act didn't reach his green eyes. "We were able to get the gate closed again."

I let that sink in, but what stayed at the forefront of my thoughts was what he'd said. What's left of the Order. "How many did we lose?"

Ren cast his gaze to the side, the muscle along his jaw working. "Sixteen."

Oh my God, I couldn't even . . . I squeezed my good eye shut. The rising sorrow nearly made me wish I was still swimming in that darkness. "Have you all found her . . . Val?" It hurt even saying her name.

"No. No one has seen her either, not even her family."

God, what had she done? My thoughts roamed back to seeing her at headquarters. "She was carrying something, Ren. She went there for a reason. She had something covered in black."

Ren nodded slowly. "I know. Remember Merle mentioning some kind of crystal? David had one stored in a room on the third floor, among other weird shit. I don't know what the importance of the crystal is." He looked away, his shoulders rising with a deep breath. "David hasn't said what the hell it is, and I have no idea."

I thought about the room that David never allowed anyone in, but how had Val known it was there? To be honest, I'd forgotten about the crystal the moment I learned about halflings.

"I figured Merle might know, but I haven't . . . well, to be honest, I haven't really cared about that right now. I've only cared about you," he said, and my gaze drifted over him. His brows furrowed as he wrapped his hand around my left one and squeezed gently. "I know you don't want to hear this, but I want to kill her for doing that."

Yeah, I didn't want to hear that.

"You could've died and I—" He cut himself off, and when I reopened my eye, he was staring at the space near me, at the monitor. "I wouldn't know what to do."

My breath hitched. "I'm . . . I'm here." It sounded lame, but it was all I could say.

His gaze flicked to mine. "You are, but you should have never had to face the prince—any of that. What were you thinking?" He swallowed. "Going after him was like putting a loaded gun to your head."

"It was my duty."

He shook his head slowly. "It was suicidal. You're incredibly brave, Ivy. You're strong and courageous, but that was insane, and I wish you never had to face that."

I wished that too. My thoughts floated back to headquarters, and I wondered if I'd ever be able to walk in there again and not think about fighting the prince or what he said.