Wherever She Goes(89)

When he says, “Maybe tomorrow will be better,” I know he isn’t talking about Diana.

“It will be,” I say.

“Graham’s in town,” she blurts out when Kurt leaves. “He claims he’s here on business.”

“And he wants to see you, because he loves you and he’s changed.”

I look her in the eyes as I say this, steeling myself for the guilty flash that says she’s considering meeting with him. Like many abusive relationships, theirs is a complicated one. He’d beat the shit out of her, and then he’d be so very sorry, and she’d go back to him, and the cycle would start again.

It’s been two years since she left him and convinced me to move to a new city with her. I’d resisted, not because I was reluctant to help but, honestly, because I expected I’d relocate my life for Diana and then find myself alone in that new city when she went back to Graham. But I’d decided to give her one last chance . . . and she’d finally decided he’d had enough chances. She’s been free and clear of him ever since, and now I don’t detect any guilt in her eyes, any sign that she wants to see him.

“Okay, step one,” I say. “You’ll stay at my place tonight and work from there tomorrow. Call in sick.”

I brace for her to suggest she stay longer. When her lease came due, she hinted—strongly—about moving into my place instead. She’d gotten very little in the divorce, having signed a prenup, and had long since run through it. The demotions haven’t helped her ever-worsening financial situation. I’d pointed out that my single-bedroom place wasn’t big enough, but still I feel like a selfish bitch. I help by footing the bills when we go out and “loaning” her bill money that I never expect to see again.

She doesn’t suggest a longer-term stay, though, and I feel like a bitch for that, for even thinking it at a time like this, as if she’d manufacture a story about Graham to move in with me.

“With any luck,” I continue, “it’ll take him a while to track your home or work address, and if he really is on business, he won’t be here long . . .” I catch her expression. “He’s already found you.”

“He—he stopped by the office. The usual crap. He just wants to have coffee, talk, work things out.”

“And then?” I say, because I know there is an and then. In public, Graham plays the besotted ex-husband. But as soon as no one is around . . .

“He waylaid me in the parking garage.”

I reach for her wrist, and she flinches. I push up the sleeve to see a bracelet of bruises.

“Goddamn it, Di!”

She gives me a whipped-puppy look.

“Graham showed up at your office, and you didn’t call me? You walked into the goddamn parking garage—”

“Don’t, Casey. I feel stupid enough.”

Her eyes fill with tears, and that’s when I really feel like a bitch. Blame the victim. I hate it so much. But Diana never seems to learn, and I’m terrified that one day I’ll get a call that she’s in the morgue because she gave Graham another chance and I wasn’t there to stop her.

“He’s going to do it one of these days,” she says, wrapping her hands around her glass. “You know he is.”

I don’t want to follow this line of thought, because when I do, I think of Blaine and how easy it was to kill him. I fear that one day I’ll decide there’s only one way to protect Diana. No, really I’m afraid she’ll ask me to do it. I don’t know what I’d say if she did. I owe her for keeping my secret about Blaine. But I don’t owe her enough to repeat the mistake with someone else. Not even Graham.

“I’ve been researching how to disappear,” she says.

“What?” I look up sharply.

“We could disappear. You and me.”

I don’t ask why she includes me. When she’d asked me to relocate and I’d resisted, she’d pointed out the ugly truth—that I’d had no reason to stay. That hasn’t changed. I have a furnished apartment I’ve never added a picture to. I have a lover whose last name I’ve never asked. I have a sister I speak to three times a year. I have one friend, who is sitting in front of me. I do have a job I love. But that’s all I care about. My job and Diana. The job is replaceable. Diana is not.

“Let’s just focus on keeping you safe for now,” I say. “Graham will give up and go home, and then we can discuss how to handle this long-term.”

I put money on the table and catch Kurt’s eye as he deals with a drunk. He mouths, “This weekend?” meaning he can see something’s up and tomorrow probably isn’t going to be better. I nod, try for a smile, and then turn to Diana and say, “Drink up, and let’s go.”





Chapter Four





I’m at work the next day, trying not to worry about Diana. Of course, I do. I’ve felt responsible for her since we met. She’d just moved to my district, and I spotted her in the cafeteria with her tray, looking like a rabbit about to dine among wolves. I’d waved her over to join me and my friends, and I’ve been there for her ever since.

I keep thinking about Graham being in town. About the other times he’s tracked her down and what he did. Got her fired. Trashed her apartment. Beat the shit out of her. And the last time, tried to run her down with his car.