Where the Stars Still Shine(36)

“Okay, well, I have to go. I’m already late from break,” I say. “So, I guess I’ll see you later?”

“Sure.”

But as I let myself out of the cabin and walk to the store, I keep looking back. Not sure about anything at all.

Kat is helping customers when I come in. She smiles and waves at me in a way that makes me think she’s been too busy to worry about me. Which is good, because I’m too busy trying to figure out what just happened with Alex to make up an excuse.

“Oh my God, Callie, why didn’t you tell me Connor asked you out?” She comes over to me as I’m reorganizing the jewelry spinner. “I had to hear about it from Nick.”

“I guess I forgot.”

“How could you forget?” She bounces on the balls of her feet and her charm bracelet jingles. “This is so exciting! What are you going to wear?”

“Probably jeans and maybe a plaid shirt.”

“Good call.” Kat bobs her head as if my lack of planning is a plan. “Understated yet cute. Maybe with one of the lace-trimmed tank tops underneath and—ooh, that necklace with all the keys. And those brown leather sandals. You’ll look—um, you look as if you’re about to puke. What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know.” I hang and rehang the same necklace twice, just so I don’t have to look at her excited face. “I’m not sure about this.”

“Why? Connor is the nicest guy I know.”

“It’s just—I’m not feeling it.”

“I used to think Nick was completely annoying. But one day during our freshman year, he sweet-talked the lunch lady into giving him an extra peanut-butter cookie and then gave it to me. It was such a dumb little thing, but”—she shrugs—“that did it for me. Give Connor a chance. He might surprise you.”

I work my lower lip between my teeth. I wish I could be honest with her about Alex, but she wouldn’t understand, especially when she wants this thing with Connor to happen. It’s in her face, in her voice. And I don’t want to fight with her anymore. “Yeah, okay.”

Theo lets us leave work a little early, and as we walk to Kat’s car I can’t help but sneak a glance at the boat. Alex stands on deck, stringing sponges the way he did the first night I saw him, and I have to quell the urge to tell him I want to eat Chinese food and watch movies with him. Disappointment thumps with every heartbeat when he doesn’t even look up.





It feels like an event when the whole family walks Connor and me to the front door and waves from the porch as we get in the car. Everyone’s expectations seem to be riding on my shoulders, and I feel like I’m going to get this wrong.

“You, um—you look nice,” Connor says, pulling away from the curb. “I like your hair.”

Kat wove the front into two small French braids and ribboned them together in the back. It’s pretty.

“Thanks.” He’s wearing a distressed polo-style shirt and faded jeans, and his cologne is sporty and slightly strong, as if he just put it on. “So do you,” I say.

He fiddles with the radio as he drives, scanning up and down the frequencies until he finds the right song—something hard rock I don’t recognize—and glances at me to make sure his choice is okay. I smile, but I’ve got nothing to say. Playing checkers in Greg’s backyard was easy because we didn’t have to talk, but now … this is awful.

“I, um—” I turn down the volume on the radio. “I don’t really know how to say this, but—”

“You don’t really want to go out with me, do you?” His voice is quiet and I can hear the disappointment running through it.

I slide my finger along the frayed spot on my jeans. “How did you know?”

“I could kind of tell.” He brakes to a stop at a red light. “I mean, the first time I asked, you said you’d think about it. That should have been a bigger hint. I guess—I don’t understand why you said yes if you’re not interested.”

“Kat was so excited and I’ve never been on a real date before, and I thought you’d be …” I search for a flattering word. Comfortable. Nice. Those words suck. “… safe.”

Why didn’t I say “fun”? What guy wants to be told he’s safe? As proof, Connor’s nose crinkles as if I’ve used a profane word. Then he sighs and the sound punches me in the stomach. I would have avoided all of this if I had just said no.

“Not gonna lie.” He looks up through the windshield at the traffic light, as if he can’t wait for it to change so he can drive away from this moment. “I feel like an idiot because, well … for once it seemed as if I had a chance with a girl who is completely out of my league.”

“I’m not.”

Connor shrugs. The light changes and he makes a left.

“We can—”

“Yeah, I know. We can hang out.” He sounds tired and slightly sarcastic. I guess I can’t blame him for that. “Be friends.”

“I’m sorry.”

He parks in front of the bookstore. Just up the street I can see the lighted marquee of the movie house hanging out over the sidewalk. “Do you still want to go to the movie?” he asks.

“Not really, no.”