Where the Blame Lies(71)
She watched him for a moment, her eyes moving over his expression, tears ceasing. Her mouth opened and she let out a small sigh. Her inner muscles were so tight, clasped firmly around him as he moved in and out, in and out, setting a slow yet steady rhythm. Their gazes were locked and he watched her face for any hint of distress. But her expression remained calm, gaze trusting, heart and soul right in her eyes. Christ, it was intimate. He felt connected to her in every way possible. Zach had never experienced such profound communion as he did in that moment. It shook him to his core. It made the experience so incredibly intense. His balls drew up tight, his stomach muscles tensing. He was going to come. He tried to hold out, tried to give her more time, but he couldn’t help it. “Josie, oh God,” he gasped. He pulled out and pressed in once more, her muscles sucking at him, milking him, as he groaned long and loud with the extreme pleasure of his orgasm, his skin breaking out in goosebumps.
For a moment he just breathed against her neck, feeling her heart pumping in time with his, trying to recover from something he had no words to describe. He pulled from her body and brought his head up, looking in her eyes and wiping the last trace of her spent tears from her cheek with his thumb. Their eyes met and something powerful surged between them—an understanding, a bond that had just been forged. He felt it, and he knew she felt it too. Her lips tipped and she smiled at him so sweetly it broke his heart in two. Some emotion gripped him that he had no name for other than love. But it was too soon for that, wasn’t it? Too . . . dangerous. Too complicated. Still, he’d had this sense that their lives had been inextricably tangled since that night eight years ago when he’d stood vigil outside her hospital room, and right then he knew it was true. This woman beneath him had changed something fundamental about him, and a distant part knew that, however this all played out, he’d never again be the same.
He lowered his head and kissed her, slow this time. She took his face in her hands, moving her thumbs over the rough stubble of his jaw as they kissed, long and deep.
He felt her nipples harden against his chest and reached a hand up to unhook her bra and rub his thumb over one beaded peak, back and forth, listening to the tempo of her breathing increase. He lowered his head, taking her nipple in his mouth and laving his tongue around it. For a moment she seemed to hold herself still as he continued to suck gently at her breast. But after a minute, her body relaxed, and when he moved to the other breast, she moaned with pleasure as his mouth closed around that nipple, raking her fingers through his hair as she pressed her breast toward him. He spent long minutes there before trailing his mouth lower, kissing the satin skin of her stomach, and running his nose over it. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered. “So perfect.”
Josie seemed slightly hesitant as he moved to each part of her body, but he waited for her to relax, waited for the sounds that told him she was finding pleasure in what he was doing, before moving on to another spot. He kissed the scar on her thigh and felt her tremble, but she didn’t stop him. He took his time, and when his head finally dipped between her legs, she opened for him, moaning, her fingernails raking over his scalp as he circled with his tongue the swollen nerves at the apex of her thighs. He moved between licking slowly and sucking gently until she was making small sounds of impatience, her hips rising to meet his mouth. Zach increased his tempo then, until she cried out softly, her hips bucking once as she came, her hands gripping his head as she mewled softly.
After a moment, she stilled, and he moved up her body, kissing her softly on the mouth as she looked at him, her expression glazed, eyes full of something that looked like wonder.
Zach quickly removed the condom he was still wearing and wrapped it in a tissue from a box on the nightstand before bringing the quilt over them both and pulling Josie into his arms. He stroked her hair, kissed her forehead, and held her closely. In just a few minutes, he felt her breathing change and knew she’d fallen asleep. Only then did Zach close his eyes too, and allow himself to drift into slumber.
She turned to him in the night, opening her legs beneath him and welcoming him into her body. Their lovemaking this second time was slow and tender, Josie’s hands running over his skin, learning the dips and planes of his body. Her trust in him had increased, or maybe it was her trust in herself, but whatever it was, it filled Zach’s chest with gladness. This smart, sensitive, beautiful, damaged woman had found healing in their time together. He’d given her that. More than anything in the world, he’d wanted to be the man who gave her that peace and healing. Love.
When the sun hit his eyes and he squinted into the golden morning light, Zach was alone. He got quickly out of bed, seeking Josie. He found her on the porch, another quilt wrapped around her as she stood at the railing, watching the sun come up behind the mountains. She turned her head when she heard him, a small smile curving her lips.
“Morning,” he said, his voice still grumbly with sleep as he wrapped his arms around her waist.
“Morning,” she said softly, nuzzling back into him before turning her gaze toward the mountains once more. “Thank you,” she said. “Last night was beautiful.”
He released a breath on a smile. “I think I should be thanking you.”
She smiled, turned, looked him in his eyes. “No, you know what I mean,” she said, cupping his cheek in her hand.
His face sobered. He moved a piece of hair off her cheek, taking in the way the soft yellow light of morning highlighted her beauty, casting the shadows of her face in deep gold. “Yes, I know what you mean.”