Where Have All the Boys Gone?(77)

“Uh, yes. Of course we have. No probs. They’re just over . . . um . . .”

“OK, what about the food?”

“Yes,” said Harry, looking anxious. “Aunt Senga is a bit worried. About the sausages and so on.”

“What do you mean, the sausages and so on?”

“Well, making food for five hundred people . . . that’s going to be a bit of a challenge, don’t you think? Even though Kennedy’s kitchen is gigantic . . .”

“Hang on—Mrs. McClockerty thinks she’s making breakfast for five hundred people?”

“Well, she was going to rope in some of the local boys to help . . .”

“Oh God,” said Katie. “I think maybe we should call this off right now. Did you know Ewan McGregor’s coming?”

Harry looked confused. “Is he local?”

“Maybe we should just cut our losses and cancel this right now,” said Katie in despair. “How are we going to get by on serving one thousand pieces of toast? Oh God. And I don’t even want to think about what you’re going to do for a bar.”

“Oh yes, the bar,” said Harry. “Yes, well, Kennedy has said we can put up the stalls from the fair.”

“And serve what—squash?”

“Actually, no, hang on . . . it’s here somewhere . . .” Harry scrabbled amongst his pieces of paper.

Katie sighed. This was going to be an absolute nightmare. She should have known coming back was a terrible idea. She couldn’t work with this man at the best of times, and these were emphatically not the best of times.

“Ah, here it is.”

He handed her a sheet of expensive paper, with an elegant-looking letterhead.

“Dear Mr. Barr,” it said. “After watching your appearance on the Richard and Judy show, we at Tennent’s Brewery wanted to offer you our every support . . .”

“Oh my God!” said Katie. “Do you know what this is? They’re offering to sponsor us and give us loads of free booze!”

“Why would they do that?” asked Harry, looking mystified.

“So they can get in the papers of course! It’s a great opportunity for them.”

“Really? There’s one here from some whisky people too.”

Katie fell on it with alacrity. “This is brilliant! You, Harry Barr, could not organise a ball in a game of cricket, but at this rate, they’ll be so drunk, nobody will notice that their four-course meal is actually a slice of bacon that’s only cooked on one side.”

“Well, good,” said Harry.

“This is fantastic,” said Katie. “Now, seriously, what on earth are we going to do about the food?”

Harry looked at her with slightly puppyish eyes. “Well, of course, there’s always the bakery.”

“Absolutely not,” said Katie, once she realised what he was thinking.

“Well, there’s nobody else with, you know, big ovens and things.”

“You ask them then! You know them!”

“I know them enough to be very very frightened. Anyway, they hate you already. Whereas I’ve always managed to avoid getting my tyres slashed. This has never been a very tyre-slashy type of town. Please Katie. You know it’s our only hope.”

And without realising how he’d managed to finesse her into it, Katie found herself agreeing to go the next day and speak to Kelpie about the food.

“IT’S LIKE WE’VE never been away,” said Louise, staring around at the glum attic room as Katie arrived back at the house. Even with the sun out it still got no light. Mrs. McClockerty had sent down Katie’s stuff, but had charged her for every night it had taken her to get around to it. Unpacking it back into the huge oversized wardrobe was a slightly chastening experience.

“I’d forgotten there was so much entertainment potential in this one room alone,” said Louise. “Let’s go out.”

Katie felt nervous as they headed out towards the Mermaid. What if she saw Iain? I mean, it wasn’t like he had broken her heart or anything. Getting your heart broken implied love, and romance, and grand passion and all the other things she and Louise had somehow neglected to tick on their “Things I’d Like Out Of My Life” questionnaire.

But it was as if she’d been granted a glimpse; a crack through the door into what that kind of life could be like. And then, just as she was tantalisingly reaching out a hand, it had been slammed shut.

Well, they couldn’t stay out of each other’s way indefinitely in this town. And, her nagging heart couldn’t stop reminding her, maybe—just maybe—it wasn’t too late.

The streets were full of people; it was extraordinary. There were women simply everywhere; the air was heady with the scent of hairspray and fake tan. As they passed by, they raised eyebrows and shot knowing looks at Katie and Louise, as if to include them in the club.

“This sucks!” said Louise hotly. “We should get T-shirts made saying, ‘we were here first you rancid old slut-bags.’”

“Catchy,” said Katie. She couldn’t believe the change in the place. Oh my God, if Harry had been selling tickets to everyone willy-nilly—well, they only had a week to the ball. How on earth were they ever going to sort it out?

“Look!” shrieked Louise. “They do have T-shirts.”