Where Have All the Boys Gone?(60)

They’d bought pies, hastily, from the bakery, and were eating them in the Mermaid, early, so they could avoid everyone except Lachlan, who concentrated on giving Katie gigantic winks.

“Is it? Have you got anyone interested?”

Katie smiled in a secretive way, knowing it would drive her friend nuts.

“Who?”

“Well, I wouldn’t like to say.”

“Does that mean nobody then?”

Louise turned back to her pie. Katie was bursting. “Maybe not quite nobody.”

“La la la,” said Louise. “I wonder if I should head back to the bothy tonight? It’s quite exciting.”

“OK, OK, I’ll tell you. It’s just, I’ve only just heard. I haven’t even told Harry yet.”

Inside, Katie was so excited, she could hardly speak. She whispered in Louise’s ear.

“Oh my God! Richard and Judy!”

“Yes!”

“The one who keeps falling out of her top!”

“You watch a lot of daytime television.”

“I do not.”

“Anyway,” said Katie, very excited, “everyone who’s anyone goes on it. Bill Clinton. OJ Simpson. Peter Andre.”

“You’re not serious.”

“I am!!! They want me! And, um, a local man.”

“You’re going to be on telly?” said Louise.

“National telly! Primetime!”

“Five o’clock is primetime?”

“YES,” said Katie. “Anyway, why stop there . . . I could be on Good Morning . . . Newsnight . . .”

“That’s right,” said Louise, tucking in, “Newsnight are going to want you. And Mastermind. Do you think they’ll fly me down with you?”

“I don’t see why not,” said Katie. “You are involved in saving the men in this parish. One at a time.”

“Wow,” said Louise. “I wonder if London’s changed without us? OOH! Shiny lights! Topshop! Rocket salad!”

“Coffee Republic! Double red lines!”

“Pollution!”

“Congestion Charge!”

“Evening papers!”

“Capital!”

“Yay!” they chimed together.

“Oooh, BUT!” Louise exclaimed dramatically, pointing her knife, “can you bear to leave the Hibernian vale of lurve?”

“I don’t know what on earth you mean,” said Katie sheepishly.

“You dirty stop-out! You know exactly what I mean! I had to tell Mrs. McClockerty you were still on the radio when you didn’t turn up!”

Katie smiled and tried to look as though she wasn’t going to talk about it.

“So, you banged our lovely Iain?”

“Banged is such an unattractive word,” said Katie.

“Oh! You did!”

Katie toyed with her food, suddenly having an unhappy memory of Iain rescuing her from the same meal. He’d seemed to like her a lot more then than he had this morning.

“Well . . .”

Louise sat back. “OK. Size, details, descriptions, the lot. You’ve got ten seconds to cough.”

Katie felt awkward. “Well, it was our first time . . .”

“Oh. That bad.”

“No! Yes. Yes. It was terrible. Oh, Louise, I really really like him.”

“Well, jump him again and make it better.”

“I didn’t jump him the first time. And I’m not sure it’s that simple.”

Louise looked perturbed. “Man, you like man, man has penis, you lick penis, man like you. Simple.”

“You are such a Rules girl.”

“I mean, was it insurmountably terrible, that the thought of having it off with him again fills you with nausea and inexplicable rage?”

“I don’t think so.”

“And you like him, right?”

“Oh yes. He’s cute and he has lovely eyes.”

“Well then. You’ll just have to take a deep breath and get stuck in. It’s like puppy training.”

Katie nodded. “It’s not that. You know, he hasn’t called all day. No call, no flowers, nothing. What if he doesn’t want to see me again?”

“Of course he wants to see you again! It’s you or a sock in this town! Now, do you think Richard and Judy will fly us down first class?”

“WHAT DO YOU mean, ‘they need a man?’”

Harry was looking perturbed, but Katie thought she could detect a note of excitement underneath.

“I spoke to the researcher today. She said I have to bring a man to talk about how there aren’t any women around, and make an appeal.”

“That doesn’t sound like the kind of thing I’d want to do,” said Harry.

“It’s for a good cause—loads of women will come to the ball. You’ll be famous! It’ll be great! Just think about the greater good!”

“Isn’t there anyone else?”

Katie had considered this, and thought that while Iain would be brilliant on telly, it probably didn’t give him the right message that she wanted him to advertise for other women, plus she wasn’t quite confident about taking him to London—her home. After all, what would it mean if they were travelling down to London together? And, of course, it would make Harry livid, which might have seemed a good idea a week ago, but she didn’t want to threaten their rapprochement now. Oh, and he still hadn’t called. She was starting to get an unpleasant suspicion over how long it was taking him to get in touch. She was less concerned, now, about teething troubles in the bedroom—all she could think of was his sweetness, how lovely he was to look at. She had a pretty bad case of the Iains in fact. She shook herself back to attention.