Where Have All the Boys Gone?(37)

Suddenly, the door of the office swung open and Harry barged in, also in an excellent mood by the looks of things.

“Come on, we hae to go,” he said, waving his hand in front of the phone for emphasis.

Katie nodded sharply at him.

“Why?” she said down the phone.

“Can’t you just check it?” said Olivia, sounding more unhappy.

“I can just check it if you tell me why.”

“We have to go NOW,” said Harry. “That’s N-O-W—Now.”

Katie looked at him. How on earth did he ever get an utterly gorgeous girlfriend? Very mysterious.

“Look, Katie, it’s not work stuff . . . I think your sister’s been trying to get in touch.”

“Clara? What the hell does she want now?”

“Please just check it,” said Olivia. “I really have to go.”

“We really have to go,” said Harry, indicating he was going to hang up the phone for her if she wasn’t willing to do the job herself.

“OK, OK!” said Katie and banged down the receiver, then instantly felt guilty for doing just that. Clara was her sister after all.

“Come on, come on,” said Harry bossily, jumping up and grabbing her jacket.

“Hang on,” said Katie. “I have to check my email.”

Caught in mid stride, Harry looked at her as if she’d just spoken to him in Mandarin. “Your what?”

“Email. You know, tap tap tap then you press send and your message gets rolled up small enough to be sent down a phone line to foreign countries and stuff.”

“I know what it is. What do you have to do with it? You’ve got much more important things to do right this moment than gassing with your chums,” he said, pointing at the phone.

“For your information, that was my boss. And yours.”

“Ehm, she’s not my boss.”

“Oh no, neither she is. Well, mine then. Anyway, it was a business call. But this . . . this can’t wait.”

Katie looked at him imploringly. Harry sighed in a way that clearly meant “women,” and went to gossip with Derek.

It took a while to get the computer set up—time spent blowing off dust, mostly. Katie, used to broadband and ISDN, was shocked to find herself under the desk unplugging the phone and listening to the familiar beee . . . bdp bdp bdp prrrrr as the connection very slowly came to life. She signed into Hotmail thinking with a sigh that it had been four days since she’d checked her mail, so there was going to be a new world record number of people who wanted to sell her prescription drugs to excite her gigantically enlarged penis. But the mail she was actually looking for was about halfway down the page. In typical Clara style it was in bold and festooned with smiley faces and flags.

NOOOOZZZZ!! read the subject line.

Still chill out here in the cross your heart and hope to die, India’s fine and so am I state of Goa, an Mark-Clara hav a bit of fun to announce—yes, the stork will be flyin’ halfway around the world this year so better hope he’s got his Lonely Planet Guide!!!!!! A true gaia event, full of the joy and spirit of the forces of earth are joining these two people into one baby this year, so send your hope and love to the Mother Goddess for all of us!!! Still not sure if comin back, chums—may grant the elf a birth serene and free from western “medicalisation,” no what we mean?!

And that was it. There was no other message; nothing solely from Clara to her sister to explain exactly what the hell was going on, just a group email announcing the imminent arrival of an “elf.” Katie scanned the cc list automatically. Just as she’d have thought—Clara hadn’t even bothered to include their mum. It did, however, include Louise. The selfish witch. Clara assumed her doctrine of “peace and forgiveness” meant she was free to behave however she liked, and if other people didn’t like, it was their problem.

Katie sat down heavily. Well, this really was going to set the cat amongst the pigeons. But they’d been together, what—six months? What on earth was she going to tell Louise? Louise, whose hopes had all been tied up in Max for years; who genuinely thought that when he had babies, they’d be hers?

She thought of her sister, out there where the air was heavy with dust and car fumes; spices and burning incense. How could she even confirm it for sure out there? She doubted it was that easy to find an over-the-counter pregnancy test there. She probably didn’t even know exactly how far gone she was. And how was she going to make sure she ate good food and drank safe water? And what about soft cheese and eggs and all those things you weren’t supposed to eat, and all those toxic emissions? Katie felt her heart speed up.

Still, she couldn’t deny how happy her sister sounded in the email. And then she thought, with sadness, about how happy Louise had seemed recently.

“Don’t tell me. Jonny’s broken up with Janey and you just wouldn’t believe what Jemima said to Jessica?”

Katie eyed Harry. After he’d shown a more vulnerable side in the forest, she’d hoped for, maybe even counted on, a cessation of hostilities, but clearly this was not to be. Refusing to deign his stupid remark with a response, she got up and followed him to the door.

“What’s the matter then?” he asked, leading her out to the Land-Rover.

“Nothing.”

Harry rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry, but I run a no-sulking office.”