Where Have All the Boys Gone?(25)

“What’s up with you?” asked Harry, who had an office of his own, but seemed to spend most of his time in the open-plan section, discussing things with Derek, or out somewhere. “You’re looking at my sandwich like Francis does.”

“I am not,” said Katie, turning her glance to the screen.

“Are you hungry?”

“I’m a girl. We don’t get hungry.”

“Is Auntie S not feeding you?”

“Auntie who?”

“Oh, Mrs. McClockerty to you. Senga. S.”

“Actually, no, she isn’t. We were only allowed one “piece” at breakfast this morning. Which means one slice of bread. I hope you’re not paying too much to keep us in all this luxury.”

Harry laughed out loud. Katie suddenly saw that he had a lovely broad smile, with healthy-looking white teeth. It totally transformed his face when he laughed. It was something he didn’t do much of.

“What did you do?”

“What do you mean, what did we do? Nothing. She’s starving us.”

“I’m sorry, but Auntie S’s One Piece Rule is extremely serious. She’s harsh but fair.”

“Exactly the qualities one looks for in the hospitality industry,” said Katie. “Anyway, it’s not fair.”

“What did you do?” He was grinning now.

“Nothing. If you aren’t allowed to go out and explore your local surroundings in a new environment . . .”

“Ahh,” said Harry annoyingly.

“What? ‘Ahh’ what?”

“Scooshed?”

“What?”

“Were youse scooshed?”

“Do you mean inebriated?”

“I thought so. Don’t go home scooshed, she hates it. Thinks the demon drink is the ruination of young ladies.”

“We know it is. That’s the point.”

“Well then, you’ll have to get used to only getting one piece.”

“Give me a sandwich.”

“And risk Auntie S’s wrath? You must be joking. Come on, I’d better show you around.”

“Show me around where? I’ve seen the Woolworths.”

Harry shook his head. “How many times did I promise myself I wasn’t going to take on any daft city lassies . . .”

IT QUICKLY BECAME evident that Francis usually sat up front in the Land-Rover and wasn’t delighted at being usurped, so there was an unseemly tussle of Harry and a flurry of muddy paws before Francis dejectedly slunk into the back. The storms of the night before had abated, and although the breeze was still biting, the world looked washed clean and harshly fresh.

Instead of taking the bumpy cobbled road into town, the Land-Rover bumped around the back of the office and took off down a muddy track, straight into the heart of the forest. The trees closed off much of the morning light far quicker than Katie had expected.

“This is coille mhòr, the forest,” said Harry. “Mostly coniferous trees, planted by us—that’s why they’re in such straight rows. They do a lot for the soil, and they’re useful for lots of timber applications.”

“Christmas,” nodded Katie knowledgeably.

Harry looked at her. “. . . including the highly competitive forty-foot Christmas tree market.”

Katie squirmed. So, she hadn’t quite got the sense of scale right.

“. . . they also provide a habitat for over two hundred species, including one of the last major outposts of red squirrels in the UK, plenty of deer—actually too many deer. There’s always been deer in Scotland, but we kind of overdid the restocking.”

“Deer are lovely,” said Katie, peering to see if she could spot a fawn between the trees and thinking of Bambi. “I’m glad there’s lots of them.”

“Yes, that’s right,” said Harry. “Pretty animals are always the best. Actually, they’re a pest. They clear miles of vegetation and make it difficult for the other animals to survive. Even other pretty ones, like rabbits. Oh no, Katie, how would you decide between them?”

“Deer,” said Katie decisively. “Definitely. Unless there were others involved.”

Harry closed his eyes in exasperation. “You were really and truly the best your office could come up with to come and work here? Seriously, you’re the cream?”

“I was joking,” said Katie defensively.

“Well, there’s joking and there’s ignorance.”

“I’m trying my best,” said Katie sulkily. “I didn’t ask for this job, OK?”

He turned on her suddenly. “What on earth do you mean by that? You came up here for the interview. Then you came back. Why are you doing us all such a massive favour?”

“I did come up here, but then I met you and decided I didn’t want the job! Then they sent me anyway! But if you want me to do anything for you, you’ve got to explain things to me and not give me evils all the time. I can write, I can place things, I can spin things, and I can do my best to influence people to look on the best side of everything you do. If that offends your delicate country sensibilities, then tough. Don’t hire a PR firm then, because that’s what we do. And it’s not my effing fault that we don’t have a branch in Fairlish where we all study five years of pine tree bloody science! You’re the one spending taxpayer’s money, take some responsibility!”