When in Rome(73)

She gives me a cute, apologetic smile before making her face solemn again. “Well, for starters, no more kissing. But that one’s obvious.”

Obvious or not, I hate it. I want to kiss her all day every day until I eventually die from lack of oxygen.

“Okay, go on.” I set my beer on the counter and cross my arms.

She watches my movements, wearing a private grin, and then lightly clears her throat. “I also think it would be better if we just didn’t touch at all. Ever.”

The extra addition of that ever feels like an unnecessary punch after a boxing match that’s already over. Never touch Amelia again after knowing what it’s like to have her in my arms? Knowing what it’s like to feel her satisfied sigh against my lips? Torture. It’ll be nothing short of it, but I know she’s right. This has to happen.

“No touching, got it. Is there a minimal distance I should keep from you? I could stop by the hardware store and buy us both a tape measure to carry around.”

Amelia’s eyes narrow playfully. “Let’s say four feet to be safe. And last, I think we should not hang out alone anymore.”

I suck in a sharp breath with that one because it somehow hurts more than the others. I want to fight it, but it wouldn’t be fair of me to push back against her rules when she’s trying so hard to respect mine.

Raising my beer to my lips, I take a long pull of it to put off having to respond. Her blue eyes watch me intently like she’s on the edge of her seat for my answer.

I finally set down my beer and brace myself. “I thought I could make it work with Merritt even though I could see our differences from the moment I met her.” This was obviously not the sort of response she anticipated. Amelia’s eyes widen a little in shock, and her brows lift. I feel that familiar thundering in my chest that always precedes spilling an emotional part of me, but I need her to know.

“Our worlds were completely opposite from the start, but I chose to ignore it, and that’s what eventually led to the end of our relationship. She was a city dweller who thrived on stress and the hustle and bustle of New York; and I liked being here with my family, having quiet game nights on Saturdays and knowing the name of every person I pass on the sidewalk. When I proposed to Merritt after her visit here, she accepted, but made it clear that she could not live here, and I’d have to go with her to New York.”

I think back to those months in the big city and how much I hated brushing shoulders with strangers in every corner of it. It was so populated. And busy. Everyone had a purpose at all times. I couldn’t understand for the life of me how city life energized Merritt. How she loved the subway and hailing a ride everywhere we went. The longer I was there, the more I hated it. Also, the job at the bank didn’t help. I missed the soft edges of my town—even if the people here do drive me nuts.

“You really don’t have to explain anything to me, Noah.”

“Thank you, but I want you to know why I’m so hesitant to start something between us…if you want to know?”

She nods. “I do.”

So I continue. “I really thought our feelings could make up for all the differences between Merritt and me. But it wasn’t enough. Turns out, we had both fallen in love with the idea of each other, rather than who we really were.” I look down just to get a break from Amelia’s focus and tap the counter with my knuckle. “I still spent a miserable year there, rarely seeing her because of her job, and then fighting most of the time when we were together. And then when I needed to come back here for my grandma…well, that’s when it all imploded and I was able to really see that Merritt and I were never meant to be. Oil and water.” I look at Amelia again and shake my head. “I gave so much of myself striving to make it work with her, and I just can’t do that again. Not even sure I’m at a place in my life where I could do that if I wanted to.”

Unfortunately, so much of what’s happening between me and Amelia mirrors how it went with Merritt. A whirlwind romance with a woman passing through town who never plans to stay. Except on an even greater scale because Amelia has fame on top of a demanding career. She’s going to need someone who’s comfortable with a long-distance relationship, who can drop everything and fly to her when she needs me. And as much as I want to, I can’t be that guy for her. I’d just weigh her down like I did Merritt.

We’re both quiet for a minute, until Amelia stands and picks up her beer. “Thanks for telling me. It helps knowing why.” And I can tell she means it. Her voice is soft and her smile is kind. She’s so understanding it makes me ache. “These rules will work. Let’s follow them, okay?”

I hold her gaze and nod slowly. She turns away, heading toward her room, but pauses before facing me one more time. “And Noah?”

“Hmm?”

“She didn’t deserve you. I agree that sometimes opposites are terrible together—like pickles on brownies.” She shivers in disgust, making me laugh. “But sometimes…I think they can make each other better. Like maple syrup and bacon.”

She gives me one more of her heart-stopping smiles before she goes to her room for the rest of the night. I go to mine and try to read, but I can’t focus because all I can think about is how much I damn well love maple syrup with bacon.


“Hi Noah, it’s me. Amelia. Ha ha, you probably already knew that. I’m calling from James’s house…which…you probably knew, too, since I’m not at your house and also leaving this message on your answering machine. Anyyyywhoooo. Just letting you know James thought it would be fun if we threw a little dinner party tonight with you and your sisters. So I’m going to hang out here for the day and help him make dinner. If you see smoke, send help. If you don’t see smoke, come over around six. Your sisters are already confirmed to come, too. Sooo yeah, okay, I’ll hang up n—” BEEP.