When You Are Mine(32)

‘Another time,’ says Tempe, putting her laptop away. ‘This was nice.’

‘Better than nice. You should come to dinner. You have to meet the groom. Henry is a great cook.’

‘I’d like that.’

We are outside on the pavement. Tempe checks her phone.

‘Did Darren Goodall ever talk about his former girlfriends?’ I ask.

‘Not really.’

‘One of them died in some sort of accident. She fell from a cliff.’

Tempe doesn’t react. I want to ask her if she thinks Goodall is capable of killing someone, but I don’t want to hear the answer.

‘He’s looking for me, you know,’ she says, absent-mindedly.

‘How do you know?’

‘He doesn’t let people go … not unless he’s finished with them.’

She glances past me, as though expecting Goodall to be watching us.

‘Let’s talk later,’ I say, moving to kiss her cheek. At the last moment, she turns her face and our lips meet. The contact is only brief, but it surprises me and I pull away.

‘I’m sorry,’ says Tempe. ‘That’s something we do in our family – kiss on the lips. Did it shock you?’

‘I wasn’t prepared, that’s all.’

‘Some people kiss on one cheek, some on two cheeks; I kiss on the lips. Only friends. I won’t do it again, if you …’

‘No, it’s fine.’

‘Call me when you’ve talked to Henry.’

‘I will.’





15


‘Are you allowed to be friends with this woman?’ asks Henry, as he pushes Archie on a swing. ‘Isn’t she a witness, or a victim, or something like that?’

‘She didn’t give a statement. No charges were laid.’

‘It still seems odd – befriending someone you rescued.’

We’re on the west side of Clapham Common in a playground that has colourful wooden tunnels and slides. I’m sitting on the adjoining swing to Archie, who has made it a competition about who can go highest.

‘I’m winning. I’m winning,’ he cries breathlessly.

‘You’re too good for me.’

A frown. ‘Are you trying?’

‘My hardest.’

Henry has gone quiet about the wedding news. I thought he’d share my excitement, but his first question was about the cost.

‘We don’t have to invite many people,’ I say defensively.

He makes a humming sound. Henry thinks I’m terrible with money, which isn’t true. I spend almost nothing on clothes compared to Roxanne. Yes, we have a big mortgage, but interest rates are low and we’re both working. If his child support payments weren’t so generous compared to most fathers – and if he didn’t spoil Archie rotten because he feels guilty … I know I shouldn’t think things like that, but Roxanne manipulates him and Henry refuses to stand up to her.

The silence has gone on too long.

‘Maybe it doesn’t mean as much to you this time,’ I say.

‘What do you mean?’

‘The wedding, the reception, the honeymoon. You’ve been there, done that, bought the souvenir. It’s not so important.’

‘That’s not fair.’

‘You don’t seem very excited.’

‘I am excited.’

‘Wow, that sounded really enthusiastic,’ I say sarcastically.

‘It just seems so …’

‘What?’

‘Roxanne and I had this huge wedding, with classic cars and hundreds of guests who gave us presents. I feel guilty about making them go through it all again.’

‘We won’t ask for gifts.’

‘People will bring them anyway.’

‘Which is not our fault.’

‘Yes, but we’ll be pledging to love each other till death do us part – and my friends will be watching, thinking, Yeah, that’s what he said last time.’

‘Is it the same as last time?’ I ask, raising an eyebrow.

‘No, of course not. I’m marrying you. And it’s forever.’

‘Good answer.’

Archie interrupts, ‘Higher, Daddy, higher.’

Henry does as instructed, but I have stopped swinging. A little girl is standing to the side, waiting her turn. I hold the swing steady as she slides onto the seat.

‘Do you need a push?’

‘No, I’m a big girl,’ she says, kicking her legs.

Archie immediately wants to copy her, because he won’t be beaten by a girl, but he doesn’t have the coordination and immediately falls behind.

‘It’s time to go,’ says Henry, who offers him a piggyback to our picnic blanket, which is set out on the grass. I open a Tupperware container with pieces of cut-up apple and grapes, most of which Henry will eat.

My phone pings. It’s a message from Tempe.

Have you told him? What did he say



I ignore her.

‘It’s the first time for me,’ I say to Henry.

‘Pardon?’

‘Getting married. I’m only doing it once.’