When Breath Becomes Air(45)

Two days after Paul died, I wrote a journal entry addressed to Cady: “When someone dies, people tend to say great things about him. Please know that all the wonderful things people are saying now about your dad are true. He really was that good and that brave.” Reflecting on his purpose, I often think of lyrics from the hymn derived from The Pilgrim’s Progress: “Who would true valour see, Let him come hither… Then fancies fly away, He’ll fear not what men say, He’ll labour night and day / To be a pilgrim.” Paul’s decision to look death in the eye was a testament not just to who he was in the final hours of his life but who he had always been. For much of his life, Paul wondered about death—and whether he could face it with integrity. In the end, the answer was yes.

I was his wife and a witness.