What Lurks Between the Fates (Of Flesh & Bone, #3)(44)

I hesitated only a moment, holding her gaze as she ignored the vulnerability of my nudity. Then I drew in a shaky breath, feeling as if I was about to walk to my death.

I took her hand, hoping I wasn’t making a mistake.





14


Caldris


The lighting in Mab’s throne room was even dimmer than usual that night when I strode through the heavy doors. People lingered about the room, chatting in small groups as they sipped wine from crystal goblets. Mab lazed about on her throne, looking far too bored for a queen who had a room of followers at her disposal.

Fury pulsed in my veins. They stood just to the side of where my mate’s blood stained the dais, acting as if her suffering was irrelevant. Mab had bled her. She’d skinned her while I’d watched, and I’d been trapped, unable to do anything.

I’d never felt more helpless. Never wanted to rip out Mab’s throat more than in the moments when she’d buried her claws in Estrella’s flesh. I would never forget the sound of it tearing from her body, never stop hearing the sound of her screams echoing through the throne room. She’d taken the pain, suffered through it, and managed to remain strong despite knowing it would come again. But I hadn’t been able to bear the pain in her eyes, the tremble in her body as she suffered.

I hadn’t been able to listen to another pained whimper, another broken sound escaping her lips before she could stop it as Mab gripped her flesh all over again.

I’d been weak, and I feared we would all pay the consequences for it.

The Fae at Mab’s side were her closest companions. A small group of half a dozen males and females, constantly lingering and providing her with the latest gossip from throughout the court. I refused to make eye contact with the one who frequently requested my company. Mab had not granted it in centuries, denying her friend the continued pleasure of my body. I didn’t know if it was because my body had purely stopped reacting to such violations, or if it was because Mab grew bored with my lack of response to the abuse.

All I knew was that I was grateful for it, and that the timing had coincided with the moment I’d first felt Estrella come to life. It had been the mate bond snapping into place between us that made my body no longer any more interested than my mind.

Estrella had saved me, long before she’d ever known of my existence.

“You summoned me, my Queen?” I asked, kneeling at the foot of her dais.

I was almost grateful for the way lowering myself to my knee meant I could no longer see where Estrella’s blood stained the floor. I didn’t know if I could remain impassive while laying eyes upon it, but the scent of her blood rushing through my senses was enough to remind me. My nostrils flared as I forced my jaw to relax, hanging my head forward and parting my lips slightly so that I could breathe through my mouth instead of my nose.

The steps spread out in front of me, and Mab gazed down as her body perked up at the thought of finally having whatever form of entertainment she’d decided upon for the night. With the mate bond public knowledge, the laws of Faerie prevented her from ordering me to perform any form of sexual favors. Even Mab herself couldn’t violate the witches’ edict or the way it had tangled and twisted with the magic of Alfheimr. The consequences were swift, outside the realm of one being or entity. To do so was to suffer the wrath of an entire ancient coven.

“I am bored, Caldris,” she said, standing from her chair to approach the steps. “It has long been time for you to perform your duties and provide my court with entertainment.” She swept out a hand, making the onlookers cheer with her proclamation.

I gritted my teeth against my rage, the memory of all the times I’d been forced to participate in acts for the entertainment of her court rushing through me. Not all who inhabited the Court of Shadows were evil, but those who were deserved no less than being exterminated and sent to Helheim where they belonged.

“What is it my Queen wishes me to do?” I asked, raising my head.

I kept my face neutral, the disdain I felt for her carefully hidden behind a mask. I had no doubt that Mab could feel it, that she knew exactly how I and so many others felt about her hold over us. If I thought it possible, I’d have cut my chest open and torn her snake from my still-beating heart so that I could kill her as painfully as possible—or die trying.

“I’m feeling generous, so I will allow you to choose,” she said, her face caught with an aesthetically pleasing smile that never ended well for anyone.

Her boredom was bad enough, but when she thought she was feeling ‘kind’ was when the true cruelty she was capable of reared its head. She would make me choose between two impossible forms of suffering, and when I suffered, she would make me feel as if it was my fault and not hers.

Because I’d chosen it in the end.

“Will it be pleasure or pain?” Mab turned her head to the side, holding out a hand. Lady Malazan, Mab’s lady-in-waiting, walked to her side slowly. Her caution was notable, her face a careful mask even as her eyes lit with hope. She looked down at where I knelt, and I had spent far too much time with her to not hear her voice in my head.

How pretty a God looks on his knees for me.

I suppressed my shudder, turning my stare back to Mab. “I have a mate,” I reminded her, raising a brow. My relief for it was instant, knowing that of all the ways Mab could harm me, this was at least safe.