What Lies Between Us(89)

I turn my head to check the lounge – Hunter is still unconscious and I take advantage of it. I dip the blade of the knife in blood from the bathroom floor. Sally Ann’s breathing is becoming shallower and for a second, I allow myself to look at her and she is watching my every move, puzzled, but still expecting me to come to her rescue. I want to explain to her why I can’t, but I cannot bring myself to say the words.

Back in the lounge, I use my gloved hands to carefully wrap Hunter’s fingers and palms around the handle and flick blood on to his skin to suggest that he is responsible for the frenzied attack. There’s a pile of his clothes on the floor, so I stretch them out and smear blood on them too. Finally, I take the knife and push it through the sound hole of one of three guitars leaning against the wall in the corner of the room. Then I stand back and survey the crime scene I have manipulated for the good of my family.

I don’t know what else I can do or if this will fool the trained eye of the police, but I must try. I want to stay here with Sally Ann; I owe it to her not to let her die alone. But I can’t even offer that ounce of compassion. I have to put Nina’s and my grandson’s needs above hers. I need to get back to them.

I whisper ‘Sorry’ to her and then rinse my vomit from the bath and without looking at her, I leave Sally Ann to slip away alone. May God forgive me, because I know I never will.

I’m about to leave the flat when I look at Hunter again and I hesitate. This man is no better than Alistair, someone who is willing to destroy the life of a young girl for his own sexual gratification. How many more lives will he ruin before someone steps in and says enough is enough? As my fury towards him builds up inside me like a pressure cooker, it’s only then that I understand I need to be the one to put an end to this. I must step up and protect the next girl.

So I approach Hunter, place my thumb on the plunger of the syringe embedded in his forearm and push whatever poison is left in the barrel into his arm. I hover over him but I don’t know what I’m expecting to see; perhaps his heart trying to beat its way out of his chest or him fitting and frothing at the mouth. But neither happens and I don’t have the time to wait. I push open the front door and I leave both Hunter and Sally Ann to die together.

I feel no guilt for what I have done to him; he has got exactly what he deserves. Instead, I save my guilt for the people who need it and whom I have failed, like Nina and Sally Ann.





CHAPTER 74





MAGGIE


TWENTY-THREE YEARS EARLIER


‘We need to get Dylan away from here as soon as possible,’ I beg Elsie. I hear the anxiety in my own voice.

‘Are you sure you don’t want to think about it for longer?’ she asks. ‘This is a huge decision to make.’

‘I’m absolutely positive,’ I reply. ‘We can’t keep him down here. It’s for his own safety.’

‘Why, has something happened?’ She pales as she looks at me for an answer but when I don’t offer an explanation, she knows that it’s best not to probe any further. ‘I’ll make the phone call,’ she adds.

Elsie leaves me alone in the basement tearfully cradling Dylan and closes the door behind her. I hear her muffled voice as she talks on the phone in the hallway, but not what she is saying. I can’t tell her what I found at Hunter’s flat. I cannot bring myself to admit what Nina has done now or the extremes I’ve gone to to cover it up. I can’t tell her that I’m worse than my daughter because my attempt to kill Hunter was done consciously. It will be all over the news soon enough. I can only hope that Elsie doesn’t put two and two together.

Minutes earlier and as soon as I returned to the house, I asked more about the person she mentioned who might be interested in taking Dylan.

‘They’re a family I clean for,’ she said. ‘Jane has three kids of her own but after an ectopic pregnancy she was told not to try for any more. She and her husband have been looking into adoption but the council said they were too old to adopt. They’re a good family; he’ll want for nothing.’

She went on to explain how they were financially stable, lived on a large estate in the south of the town and that their children attended a private school. It is the security I want for my grandson. ‘He’ll be safe with them,’ she continued. ‘I hope it’s all right but I took the liberty of calling her when you were out and told her about your . . . situation. All I said was that the baby’s mum was underage. She wants to come and meet you both.’

‘She can’t meet Nina,’ I said quickly. ‘I won’t allow that.’

‘I know, I know,’ Elsie reassured me. ‘I’ve explained that Nina is going through some “emotional complications” but Jane would still like to talk to you.’

I look at Dylan again. His eyes are open but he can’t yet focus on me. I’m glad. I don’t want him to see who his grandmother really is. I consider how tonight might be the last time I hold him. Then I think about the frenzied attack on Sally Ann and how I might have murdered Hunter. My grandson should not be around people like us; he deserves so much better. This is the best decision I can make after a series of catastrophically bad ones.



When Jane appears at my front door early that evening, she looks as nervous and as unsure as I do. Elsie ushers her inside and downstairs and I stand holding Dylan, giving the once-over to a woman I am entrusting with the life of my flesh and blood. She offers me a sympathetic smile, the kind only another parent can, and as if to say she knows what I am going through. But she can’t possibly know. Nobody can, not even Elsie.