What Lies Between Us(32)

At some point in the night, I must have drifted off because I awake in the morning with a start, disorientated and sure that she is in the room with me. I open my eyes, relieved to see she’s not. Then I wait with my ear pressed against the bedroom door, just in case she is lurking outside it. But I don’t hear anything to indicate that she is. I am alone. I urinate into my bucket and then make my way to the window just in time to spy Nina walking away from the house. I spot the milkman and I try and work out what day it is; he’s knocking on doors to collect his money, so it must be Saturday.

Nina never works weekends so I wonder where she’s going. It doesn’t really matter because when she’s not under this roof, I am safe. I can’t help but wonder, though. Is she off to meet someone? Has she made a friend? Has she found a boyfriend? Or perhaps it’s not a man she’s seeing but a woman. Maybe she’s gay and doesn’t want to tell me because she thinks I’m too old-fashioned to accept it. But I wouldn’t care if she were, I really wouldn’t. I used to own several Dusty Springfield albums, so I’ve always been quite open-minded.

I’d like her to know how it feels to be loved in a romantic sense, at least once in her lifetime. Despite everything, she deserves that. We all do. I thought that having a baby meant that I would always be loved by someone until the day I died. I was wrong. Being a mother is no guarantee of anything.





CHAPTER 26





MAGGIE


TWENTY-THREE YEARS EARLIER


‘Good morning.’ I smile, and note that her pregnant belly is now poking out from beneath her white T-shirt.

‘Hi there,’ she says, then emits a long sigh.

‘Are you feeling it today?’

‘Oh yes,’ she replies and nods her head. ‘I’ve been up with heartburn most of the night and a stomach ache I can’t shift.’

‘I used to get exactly the same thing when I was carrying Nina,’ I reply, hoping to reassure her that it’s perfectly normal to feel awful in the last few weeks.

It hasn’t been the easiest time for her and she’s been a frequent visitor to the surgery throughout the duration of her pregnancy. She is only eighteen years old and far too young to be a mother if you ask me. She’s a pretty girl with elfin features and she reminds me a lot of Nina. She wears a silver nose piercing that my eyes are drawn to each time I look at her face. Her chestnut-brown, shoulder-length hair is scraped back into a ponytail and held in place with a scrunchie. No matter how crummy the baby is making her feel, I’ve yet to see her without make-up on.

‘Are you here to see Janet the midwife?’ I ask.

‘Yes, but I haven’t got an appointment. Could you squeeze me in?’

I look at the register and spot a cancellation. The surgery is only just starting to transfer all its patients’ paper files alphabetically on to a computer system and I don’t think we have reached hers yet. ‘Can you remind me of your surname, Sally Ann?’

‘It’s Mitchell.’

I nod. ‘Janet’s free in half an hour. You’ll be upstairs in room eight.’

She smiles gratefully.

A few minutes later I drop her files off at Janet’s office. Sally Ann is in the waiting room, reading one of Nina’s old NMEs that I’ve brought in from home.

‘They were my daughter’s,’ I say. ‘I’ve never heard of most of the people in them.’

‘My boyfriend’s in a band and their new single is reviewed in here.’

Of all the times we’ve chatted, I’ve never asked her about the father of her baby. She doesn’t wear a wedding ring and he hasn’t accompanied her to any appointments so I assumed he was no longer in the picture. ‘Are they popular?’

‘They’re working their way up,’ she says, and it’s hard not to recognise the pride in her smile.

‘Can I have a look?’

She passes me the magazine. ‘That’s them, The Hunters,’ she points out.

My heart starts to race. ‘Which one is your boyfriend?’ I ask, hoping that it’s the long-haired man pictured in the centre who only recently warned me there was nothing I could do to stop his affair with my underage daughter.

‘That’s him. That’s Jon.’

I pause for a moment until I know my voice won’t sound thin. ‘I bet the girls love him,’ I say.

‘Tell me about it. He gets a lot of attention.’

‘I don’t know how I’d cope with that if I were you. Is he away from home a lot?’

‘He is going on tour a couple of months after we have the baby. But I trust him. He knows which side his bread is buttered.’

‘I’m sure he does. How long have you been together?’

‘Since I was fourteen, but don’t tell anyone that.’ She giggles. ‘My parents don’t like him and think I’m making a massive mistake settling down so young. But when you know something’s right, you just know, don’t you?’

I nod my head, but I don’t mean it. Hunter is doing to my daughter exactly what he has done to this poor girl. I wonder how many others he has, dotted about the town. I have the urge to tell her she’s being made a fool of and that her pervert boyfriend is a cheat. But I can’t bring myself to be the one to break her heart in her condition. So I leave with a smile and make my way back to reception.