What Happened to the Bennetts(43)

“Want coffee or anything?”

“No, thanks.”

“Are you hungry?”

“Not really.”

“You haven’t eaten since morning, right?”

“Guess not.” Lucinda shrugged.

“What about Ethan? Did he have breakfast with you?”

“No, he was in his room.”

“I made him pancakes and he barely ate.” I had just cleared the dirty plate. “I don’t know if he ate the whole day. Do you?”

Lucinda blinked. “If he’s hungry, he’ll eat.”

“Look, I think we’re losing structure. So from now on, after my run, I’ll wake you guys up and you come downstairs. I’ll make breakfast for everybody.” I squeezed her hand. “Then maybe at twelve-thirty or so, I’ll make lunch. We can make dinner together at six, or I’ll do it, I don’t mind.”

“Okay, but why?” Lucinda took the towel off her head and finger-combed her damp curls.

“I want us to eat together. Get Ethan back to a routine. At home, we ate together when we could.”

Lucinda eyed me, pained. “Can’t we take it easy on him? Does he have to do chores?”

I remembered Allison used to tease me about that, too.

Dad, let me sleep in. There’s nothing to milk here.

“It’s not that, honey. He’s spending all day in his room, it’s not healthy. He looks pale. He doesn’t go out. We live across from a beach, and he hasn’t even seen it.” I caught myself when Lucinda cringed, realizing she hadn’t, either. “As a pattern, I don’t think it’s good, and he looks thin to me.”

Lucinda frowned in thought. “You know, now that you mention it, I touched his back this morning and it felt spiny.”

“Right. We have to get a scale.”

“There’s one in the bathroom. I lost three pounds. My shorts fit great.” Lucinda half-smiled, but it faded. “Jason, what? You’re worried about his weight, for real?”

“I’m worried about our structure. I know how to fix it. I need you to work with me.”

Lucinda’s eyes flared with alarm. “I remember he didn’t eat the pizza. I thought it was because it was Allison’s turn.”

I could see her mind racing. “Don’t worry—”

“Oh no, I think you’re right!” Lucinda straightened in the chair. “Boys can get eating disorders, too. These are just the conditions that can cause it. I mean, look at what he’s gone through, he’ll want to exert control in some way. It’s about control, not food. We have to get on top of this.”

I was beginning to regret bringing it up. “Okay, but—”

“He told me he still feels like it’s his fault because he let Moonie go.” Lucinda’s forehead knit. “We need to get him into therapy.”

“We will, and in the meantime, we’ll make sure he eats. We can get him on a scale—”

“No. That makes it a thing. You’re not supposed to make weight a thing.” Lucinda rubbed her face. “I’ve been enabling this, I think. We hang in his room and talk about Allison. I thought if he got his feelings out and rested, he’d feel better.”

“He would, and you didn’t cause this.”

“But I’m enabling it. I am enabling it. It’s just that it’s hard.”

“I know, honey, I really do.” I watched her face fall, then went and put my arm around her. Her wet hair felt cool. “Don’t worry, we’re going to get through this.”

“How?” Lucinda shot back.





Chapter Twenty-Three



Lucinda rallied to make fish tacos for dinner, Ethan’s second favorite meal. Taco shells were lined up in a white serving platter, waiting to be filled. She slid a Pyrex dish with three pieces of fresh flounder under the broiler, drizzled with olive oil, lemon juice, and cracked pepper. Chopped parsley sat in a fresh green pyramid on the cutting board, next to diced avocado and raw purple onion.

I had already set the table, so I was off duty, leaning against the counter, having a bottle of Stella Artois. It was cold on my tongue, and I felt my spirits lift. I loved hanging with her in the kitchen, and it did my heart good to see her rise to the occasion. Ethan’s weight loss was a wake-up call for both of us.

“This is going to be a great meal,” I said, patting her on the back.

“I think so, too.” Lucinda cracked the oven door, then straightened up, brushing a strand of hair from her face. She looked flushed and pretty, a glimmer of her old self. “The fish was so fresh. Wiki got it at a fish market. You should see the menu. They have fresh scallops, sea and bay.”

“I always forget which is which.”

“The sea scallops are the big ones. Just remember that the sea is bigger than the bay.” Lucinda smiled. “I like Wiki. He got all the right things and he was back in no time.”

“I like him, too.” I took a swig of Stella, then passed her the bottle and she took a sip.

“He reminds me of a big, goofy kid. It’s funny, for an FBI agent.”

“Like a puppy with a waist holster.”

Lucinda laughed, a sound that warmed me.

“Honey, Dom’s a good guy, too. You should give him a chance.”