Well Behaved Wives(94)

Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A Guide and Map for Recovering from Childhood Trauma by Pete Walker

Resources compiled by writer and advocate Janna Leadbetter, who founded Breaking the Silence for Women. The platform of education and empowerment for survivors of domestic abuse can be found on Facebook.





ACKNOWLEDGMENTS AND AUTHOR’S NOTE

I often listened to James Taylor’s greatest hits while I wrote this book, even though in the world of my characters it would be years until his music would be released and become popular. I felt as if I had a crystal ball and was privy to the soundtrack of my characters’ futures.

I felt that way while writing much of this book, which takes place before the publication of The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan, before women’s lib or the second wave of feminism, and long before #MeToo. I had to refrain from giving the women in the book too much hope or insight. At times it was difficult to ignore what I knew would happen to change their lives—the assassinations of John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Robert Kennedy, the civil rights movement, Woodstock, miniskirts, the moon landing. I strove to stay entrenched in the characters’ 1962 world, where my twenty-first-century opinions and knowledge were irrelevant. It was not great for my ego, but while I was writing, I ceased to matter.

Writing Ruth was a respite. She was my sometimes-reluctant rebel, my always forward thinker, loosely inspired in part by the early life of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. May her memory be a blessing.

I sometimes felt sorry for Lillian and wanted to shake her sensibilities into another decade. Shirley came to life for me as the protective, bold, sometimes misguided matriarchal figure who still clung to her weekly beauty parlor appointments.

What wasn’t difficult about writing this book was picturing Wynnefield, a real West Philadelphia neighborhood that filled my paternal grandmother’s, Mildred Nathan’s, collection of photo albums and reels of home movies, now stored in the cloud. My dad’s family all lived in Wynnefield, on Peach Street and Columbia Avenue, where my grandparents lived until I was five, not far from where readers first meet Lillian and the Diamond Girls, but in a small row house. My parents drove me up and down (it’s quite hilly) and around Wynnefield, recounting memories and pointing out what used to be. My aunt Linda also shared her memories and answered my questions. The setting wouldn’t have been so vivid to me without their help.

Fun facts: My dad went to Overbrook High School at the same time as Wilt Chamberlain but before Will Smith. Wynnefield is the West Philadelphia neighborhood Smith rapped about in the nineties.

The story and structure in this book were greatly influenced by the insights of Danielle Egan-Miller, Jodi Warshaw, Danielle Marshall, and Tiffany Yates Martin—the stars in my writing and publishing universe. I would not be here without them.

And then there’s my proverbial village. A socially distanced high five for Sherrie Agre, Julie Artz, Sheila Athens, Kim Brock, Susan Brownmiller, Mark Cameron, Emily Carpenter, Gabriella Dumpit, Carole and Ray Farley, Joan Fernandez, Mary Beth Gale, Susan Gloss, Kelly Harms, Kelly Hartog, Ashley Hasty, Fern Katz, Janna Leadbetter, Miriam Lichtenberg, Kathryn Mariani, Carolyn McGill, Dr. Pamela Nadell, Renée Rosen, Ellie Roth, Renee San Giacomo, Judith Soslowsky, Pamela Toler, and Nancy Yaeger. Much respect and thanks to Priya Gill for being my spreadsheet fairy godmother.

Manny Katz, I missed your input.

An extra big germless hug to the dream team—Michele Montgomery, Priya Gill, and Gabi Coatsworth for crossing my t’s and dotting my i’s when I was under the weather.

Much love and a special thank-you to my brother, David Nathan, for helping with just about everything else so I could write this book.

To my fascinating friends Natasha, Oksana, and Katarina: thank you for the daily support, the weekly chats, and most of all, for the keys to our magical writing bungalow. And I’m grateful for the thousands of accountability emails I’ve exchanged with Pamela Toler and for our long-standing and special friendship.

A shout-out to my Early Bird writing family—the two Pamelas, Virginia, Nancy, Joan, Catherine, Stephanie, Della, Priya, Heather, and Sheila; and to the WFWA Zoom Writing Date writers—you know who you are—you transformed the pandemic into something bearable for me—especially you, Michele Montgomery.

Curmudgeon Book Club, thank you for reminding me I am also a reader.

To Tall Poppy Writers, WFWA Historical Fiction Group, and Lake Union Authors, your support is unparalleled.

To my readers, thank you all for your emails, reviews, kind words, encouragement, and social media support. I keep you all in my heart when I write. Lucky for me, it’s getting kind of crowded in there.

In addition to gathering oral histories, I read and/or referenced the following books while writing this story. Each one added to my understanding of the era. I used what I learned but employed my imagination to best serve the story. Amy Vanderbilt’s New Complete Book of Etiquette; Etiquette by Emily Post; The Luella Cuming Studio Course in Social Awareness, Poise, and Gracious Living by Luella Cuming; McCall’s Book of Everyday Etiquette; Not to People Like Us: Hidden Abuse in Upscale Marriages by Susan Weitzman; Philadelphia Jewish Life 1940–1985, edited by Murray Friedman; The Astronaut Wives Club by Lily Koppel; Amy Vanderbilt’s Complete Book of Etiquette: A Guide to Gracious Living; The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan; The Jewish Community of West Philadelphia by Allen Meyers; The Persian Pickle Club by Sandra Dallas.