Well Behaved Wives(74)

“Yes. Can you hand me the meat knife?”

Ruth pulled the knife from its drawer and handed it to her mother-in-law, who began trimming the meat.

“Does he know everything? All of it? And he supports it?”

“It was his idea to renovate the attic.”

Her father-in-law was a mensch, no doubt about it. Hopefully, his son was too.

Ruth suddenly pictured the lovely unclaimed tchotchkes on her dresser. They must have been left behind by girls the Appelbaums had helped. She paused as an unwelcome thought occurred to her. “Are there girls with nowhere to go now—with me and Asher staying in the attic?”

“No, I found an alternate nearby, don’t worry. We haven’t needed it yet. Not all the girls come through Philadelphia.”

“Your daughters? Alice and Abigail don’t know? They’re not curious?”

“They’re busy with their own lives, and the women don’t stay long. A week, maybe two, and then they move on. It will be different for Carrie because she’s expecting, but we’ll find the right place, or someone will.”

“Do you worry Eli will search for the baby?”

“I do, but one thing at a time. There’s always a way. We just haven’t figured it out yet.”

If anyone could solve this problem, Shirley would. She wasn’t just a polite housewife and prickly mother-in-law. She was a doer. A trailblazer, even. Was she someone who would understand Ruth’s goals and dreams?

Maybe. Maybe not. But Ruth wished Asher knew this side of his mother. She couldn’t help but think he would respect it.

Guilt seized Ruth. She lived in Shirley’s house, loved her son, strove to please her. Ruth had made assumptions about this woman and had kept things from her, things that affected Shirley’s son, her eventual grandchildren.

“You can bring me the meat rub from the pantry. It’s the one in the green jar.”

“Could you stop for a minute? Please,” Ruth said.

Shirley paused and turned to her. “What’s wrong? We need to start dinner.”

“I want to say I’m sorry,” Ruth said.

“Nothing to be sorry about. You did a good job today, in a difficult situation.”

“No, I mean about marrying Asher. I’m sorry we eloped. You didn’t deserve that. He said you wouldn’t care.”

“Well, he was wrong, but I daresay you two were doing what you thought was best.”

Ruth knew Shirley was hurt about the elopement, but now she seemed hurt by what her son thought he knew about her. Ruth wanted to smooth things over. “I’m going to try even harder to understand where you’re coming from. I made too many false assumptions about you. Now that I see how much you care about strangers, I know how much your son must mean to you. I’ll do better at discussing things with you. I promise.”

“Thank you.” Shirley’s voice hitched as she spoke, and Ruth wondered if it was because she was touched by this sentiment or if she was simply exhausted from everything that had gone on today.

“I really do love him and want him to be happy,” Ruth said.

“I know.”

“He wants me to be happy too.”

“Of course he does.”

Ruth paused and gathered her thoughts. Shirley had opened up to Ruth today, sharing a very private part of herself, of her mission in life. Shouldn’t Ruth open up a bit in return? Cement their relationship a little more? “I’m going to get a job.”

“Is that so?”

Ruth’s defensiveness bubbled up because she knew she’d made a mistake. She should have waited for Asher. “I’ll explain later.”

Shirley put the knife on the counter, her eyes boring into Ruth’s. “You’re not normally at a loss for words, Ruth. Speak up.”

Ruth couldn’t quite tell if Shirley was encouraging her—or baiting her. Ruth debated what to say and held her breath. One. Two. Three.

“I’m studying to take the bar exam.” Ruth blurted it out faster than she’d wanted and stared at Shirley.

“We thought you went to Barnard.” Shirley smiled.

“I did, as an undergrad, before Columbia. The law’s the way I think I can help girls like Carrie. By changing the system. Asher thought you wouldn’t understand.” The words raced out. Ruth exhaled her secret in one big breath, and the confession lightened her. She’d manage the fallout. Shirley deserved honesty. Especially after today. Even if it meant Ruth was no longer seen as a promising daughter-in-law.

“Why did it take you so long to tell me?” Shirley’s voice was flat, not accusing, more inquisitive.

“I guess we were scared to disappoint you. That I wasn’t what you wanted for Asher.”

Shirley said nothing for a moment, then, “Don’t let anyone silence your voice, Ruth. Not even me.” Her voice was gentle, like she was speaking to a baby.

Ruth blinked. Was her mother-in-law giving her permission to live life the way she wanted? Permission to stop following society’s rules?

Shirley opened her mouth as if to say something else, and shut it. “I should take my own advice,” she mumbled, then cleared her throat. “I have a confession too, Ruth. Leon and I knew about Columbia.”

“How?” Unless Asher had told his mother. But she could trust him, couldn’t she?