We Are the Light(56)
He talked about how he and Mark had considered selling the Majestic Theater after the tragedy and had even begun negotiations with a local dramatist who wanted to convert the historic movie hall into a playhouse for live performances.
“There were serious money discussions,” Tony said. “But then you guys hit us with your crazy monster movie idea. And, well…”
He went on to say that the tragedy had initially put a strain on his relationship with Mark, because Tony was angry and wanted to leave Majestic, PA, altogether. Tony took the shooting as a sign that people were evil at heart. And that maybe it was best to leave the suburbs, where there were “so many angry young white men.” Mark saw the moment as an opportunity to prove that a historic movie theater could make a difference in a community, being what you Jungians call medicinal, although Tony didn’t use that exact word.
“Our disagreement was an additional, smaller crisis because we had such different responses to the tragedy. I wanted to cash in and he wanted to double down…” Tony trailed off here for a moment. I felt compelled to acknowledge what he’d said so far with a reassuring nod, which seemed to help him continue. He went on to say, “But then you brought us Eli. I was suspicious at first because he was Jacob’s brother. But somehow you convinced everyone. You did that, Lucas. And working closely with Eli these past few months… he’s such a remarkably good kid. It’s like he’s the polar opposite of…”
Tony started coughing a lot here and the tears were flowing hard enough to darken the collar of his jade-green polo shirt even more than the rain had.
Something deep within me activated, and before I knew it, my arms were around Tony and he was crying into my shoulder while I held his back.
That’s when I noticed Jill watching from halfway down the staircase. I got the sense that she had been there for a while and, therefore, had heard much of what Tony had said. But as soon as Jill and I locked eyes, she turned back upstairs and disappeared into her room. I know because I heard the guest bedroom door close behind her.
Tony must have heard her too. He pulled away from me and began wiping his eyes with the backs of his wrists as he said, “I’m sorry, Lucas. I shouldn’t be here. I mean, if anything, I should be comforting you. I just felt… well, I felt compelled. I know that sounds ridiculous. Just to… to thank you.”
Then he stood up and walked out the front door and back into the rain, which had gotten worse rather than better.
I just sat there on the couch thinking about the last conversation I’d had with Eli, which happened a day or two previously when he came to officially take down his tent. As I helped him stuff everything into the storage bag, he talked about how Mark and Tony were using their contacts and our movie to try to get Eli late admittance into an undergrad college with a filmmaking track.
Apparently, Isaiah had already signed off on Eli’s graduation, even though I hadn’t yet submitted an evaluation for Eli’s senior project. Eli told me that Isaiah had taken it upon himself to get all that done, which is when I realized I had begun to shirk my responsibilities as an educator. I wondered when that had started, but couldn’t deny that I was no longer keeping Eli’s best interests first in my mind. The boy didn’t seem mad or resentful—instead, he seemed sad and kind of worried about me, although he didn’t directly express the sentiment.
After we had Eli all packed up and ready to go, he looked at his flip-flops and said, “You did so much for me, Mr. Goodgame. It’s amazing. All that we made happen. But I’ve started to think that maybe you did all this monster movie stuff for me instead of doing whatever it was that you needed to do for yourself.”
I remember the sun was hitting my eyes with an intensity that made me blink repetitively.
“I’m really sorry about your wife,” Eli continued. “But I think you might need more help than I can give you. I’m only eighteen.”
He swallowed hard and when I finally looked into his eyes, he threw both of his arms around my neck and pulled me close. After a second, I hugged him back. Then he held me for a long time like that, just sort of rocking me back and forth from left to right and right to left and back again.
“I’m really sorry about your brother,” I said, which made him push his face into my chest the way that Tony would just a few days later—what I described above. Eli and I stood like that for a few minutes before he let go and then walked away without looking back at me or offering any more words. I haven’t seen Eli since and have confirmed in my mind once and for all that I am indeed Puff, the Magic Dragon, and Eli is Jackie Paper.
Calling me the best public speaker in town, Mark asked me to make a speech at the premiere—right before the red curtains part and the movie begins. I’m really hoping that the strong, eloquent version of me will resurrect himself at least one more time. I think being back inside the Majestic will make Other Lucas rally. There will be so many people there who will need him to inspire them toward healing and general well-being.
I also have this fantasy about winged Darcy showing up to support me. Even if she has already flown up into the great white light, maybe she can return to earth one last time. Angels probably need closure too. Maybe all of The Survivors’ winged loved ones will be in the air between the Majestic Theater’s red seats and the Grand Viewing Room’s ceiling, which is wonderfully painted to look like the sky—fluffy white clouds set against a sea of robin’s-egg blue and even a sun. It’s quite breathtaking. Darcy and I used to go to the movies early just to look up at the beautiful artwork. Regardless, they never play pre-movie ads at the Majestic Theater and only screen one or two previews before the feature starts. Mark and Tony always pipe in opera music, which never fails to make Darcy and me feel like we are in a different, more ancient world whenever we sit in the red seats with our heads tilted back and look up at the artwork.