Void(54)

“Being a paragon has its perks. But Thibault took great care to design the shifter dorms in accordance to particular animals’ needs. You don’t want to see the cat hallway. Balls of yarn everywhere.”

I chuckled at that. “But you have four animals,” I said thoughtfully, a hint of prying in my tone. I desperately wanted to know what kind of animals he had prowling under his skin.

“Mm-hmm.”

Nope. He wasn’t giving me anything.

My hand trailed over the back of the chair before I meandered over to the table, my eyes locking onto the book there that was titled Mate Bonds: How They’re Formed & How They’re Terminated.

Seeing what I was looking at, Gritt quickly walked over and slammed his hand down on the cover, but it was too late. “Light reading, huh?” I asked. I tried to sound flippant, like it didn’t bother me that he was reading a book about how you could terminate a mate bond. I’m not sure I pulled it off though, because Gritt just coughed and looked away.

“I can’t deny that my pull to you is...alarming,” he replied as he walked over to a pile of clothes and picked them up. He hurriedly tossed them into a hamper before straightening the bright blue comforter on his bed. He was...tidying up. I tried not to smile at the small form of courtesy he was showing me.

“Alarming? What did the book say?” I asked.

Gritt walked over to the large window and stared outside. I watched his back as he clenched and unclenched his fists at his side. “The book said that with a mate bond, there’s a pull. Like you want to be near them all the time. That’s the first step,” he explained, his voice low.

I walked over to him and positioned myself at his side. Another purr escaped his throat when our arms brushed, and he quickly increased the space between us once he realized what was happening.

“Then what?”

“Then...if the bond was settling, I’d be able to sense when my mate is in danger. Or hurting. Basically any intense emotions, I’d be able to feel it.”

I hummed. “Interesting.” I wondered if he felt when Render kissed me or when Hyde put on his little undead show and my desire had ratcheted up. “And then what?”

“Last, I’d get a mate mark on my skin. I’d know that my animals made their choice, and that super would be it for me,” he said. “It normally only happens between shifters, but my brother mated with a vamp. They kept it secret for a while to avoid prejudice between our breeds, but I guess the cat’s out of the bag now.”

At that revelation, we both went silent. His brother was a majority of the reason he hated me, but I couldn’t help the blooming of hope that sprung out of my chest. Maybe Gritt would be...okay with mating with the Void.

Part of me felt bad for him. We were virtual strangers, and the bond, though powerful and usually perfect, was a life sentence. Add the layer of my Void and his future with the council, and we were a recipe for disaster. Not to mention, I still felt drawn to Hyde, Render, and even Quade. Even if Gritt refused to accept the bond, would he be okay exploring other options? I wasn’t ignorant enough to hope for a future with men that didn’t want me, but I hoped one day to settle down with someone that could look past the Void and see me—the real me.

“So...how do you stop it? I’m assuming that’s why you’re reading that book. To find out how,” I finally said after a long, awkward silence. At my words, Gritt clutched his chest like the idea physically hurt him.

“Distance. Time. Sheer will power. I’ve read three research papers and that book from cover to cover. There’s only one instance of a shifter that successfully broke a mate bond, and it nearly killed him.”

My heart sank. I didn’t know how to feel about all of this, nor was I mentally capable of it right now. “I should go,” I whispered before turning away from the window to grab my duffle bag. Bonds were revered across supernatural factions, but I didn’t want it like this. I didn’t want to make this even harder on him than it already was. He clearly wanted distance so that the bond could break. I should let him have it.

“No,” Gritt said quickly. “Please stay.” He coughed to hide the pleading in his voice, but I caught it. “I uh...I’m on duty tonight,” he added lamely. “We can’t have you stealing anyone’s powers.” His excuse lacked the usual bite he reserved for me, and I turned to face him, surprised.

“You sure? Because I can go. I can find Hyde or maybe Render…”

“No,” he said in a rush. “Stay.”

I regarded his tense face for a moment before nodding. “Okay, Gritt. You can keep an eye on me,” I replied. His entire expression relaxed, and he let out a relieved breath.

I walked over to the attached bathroom so that I could get ready for bed, hiding a smile between my teeth. Once I shut the door, I smiled at myself in the mirror before shaking it off again. Gritt wanted me to stay. I’d seen the truth of that in his green eyes. What that meant exactly, I wasn’t sure, but it was something.

Staring at the mirror, I took in the brown-eyed girl in front of me. She looked tired. Bright. Dim. Alive. Everything and nothing. I tried to see if, behind the Void, there was something worthy of a paragon’s bond. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

I quickly changed into my oversized sweats before brushing my teeth and hair. I was just finishing when Gritt yelled from the other side of the door. “You coming or what?”