Void(45)

His crude words made my stomach clench, and I shuffled my feet, pressing my thighs closer together. “Maybe you were hungrier than you thought?” I offered lamely with a casual shrug, though my voice came out breathy. I tried to show that I wasn’t affected by him by turning around and piling my hair on the top of my head and twisting it into a messy bun, but still, he approached me, his eyes hot and dark as he looked at my exposed neck.

“I don’t let my cravings get the best of me,” he insisted.

“I get it, so why do you keep saying that?” I asked with a huff. I hated how he could throw his control in my face like I wasn’t working hard enough to try to control my Void. I hadn’t even known that the Void could be tamed. I was the only of my kind, and everyone had always been too scared to let me practice using it. Their solution was exiling me away. My father at least gave me some freedom by finding me my amulet. The council would have kept me locked up otherwise.

“Because it’s important to me,” he finally said, stopping right in front of me, his voice tight with anger.

“Why?”

“Because people die when you aren’t in control,” he suddenly shouted, his voice so loud that it bounced off the cabin walls.

Power was seeping through his pores, and my mouth watered against my will. I swallowed it away, careful not to lose the very control he was talking about. I knew all too well the consequences of not being in control. It plagued me daily, knowing that I could easily lose control and wipe out every supernatural in my wake. The Void had no limit. It had no bottom. My fear was that one day, I would let my Void out, and it would consume everything. I would be nothing except hunger and darkness, devouring everything in my wake until there was nothing left.

I tried to step away from Render, but his body stopped me, his hips pushing against mine, and I felt the telltale evidence of his hard erection pressing against my hip. His eyes stayed on my neck as he started to speak, his steely gaze taking on a faraway look. “I lost control before. She was eight years old,” he began, his voice dropping down to a level barely above a whisper. The air around us tightened, time paused. Nothing else existed except for Render’s sudden vulnerability and the way our bodies molded together.

“Who was?” I whispered.

“I was visiting the human community with my father. He was a council member back then. He’d been a paragon like me, but he was forced to step down from his position when Judge Braxton came into power,” Render said, and it suddenly made sense why he seemed to dislike Braxton so much. “The judge only likes cooperative supes on his council, and we’ve never been a cooperative bunch. The only reason I’m even here is because I’m more powerful than any other vampire. They had no choice but to elect me for this position, even though the judge tried to suggest other options. They were all jokes. I’m stronger, faster, my venom is more potent, my hypnosis is powerful, and my bloodline is pure. There was no one else that could compare.”

I nodded, encouraging him to continue, while simultaneously entranced at the casual way he mentioned how strong he was. He wasn’t even saying it to brag. Just stating it like a simple fact. I knew he was powerful, but knowing just how powerful made me nervous. I could sense he was deflecting from the meat of the story by explaining this, but for some reason, it was important to me to know how he lost control. It made me feel less...alone.

“What happened?”

“I was just a kid,” he said, dropping his head in shame. “Fourteen and stronger than vampires centuries old. I was always hungry. She...the human was walking home from school. She fell and scraped her knee. I-I lost control, and she lost her life.”

I inhaled sharply, trying not to show too much sadness at his story. Render seemed like the type to repel pity. He’d rather wrap himself up in cruel words and sarcasm than deal with the real issues in his life. Vampires usually only fed from other vamps, willing humans, or blood bags. Some of them, with more exotic tastes, drank from animals. It was rare that one killed a human anymore, since they secluded themselves in the vampire capital and had other options. But he’d just been a kid.

“You can’t blame yourself for that,” I said quietly, my hand coming up to touch his bicep. His skin jumped under my touch, but he didn’t move away. I wasn’t even sure why I was consoling him, but in this moment, he wasn’t being an asshole. I didn’t want the moment to end. The room seemed to grow cold at the sadness between us.

“Yes, I can,” he replied, raising his head to look at me, showing me the tortured look in his eyes. “I lost control. I’m the reason she’s dead. I don’t even particularly like humans, but that doesn’t mean I want to be a murderer.”

I nodded, because I understood completely. I didn’t particularly like supernaturals, but that didn’t mean I wanted to drain them all of their powers or inadvertently take their life essence. “It was an accident, Render. You’re remorseful. That’s what makes you better,” I told him. “If draining my mother’s elemental power taught me anything, it was that you can’t live in the what-ifs. It’ll drive you crazy if you do,” I said quietly.

Render’s lips pressed together before he reached up, trailing his hand up to cup my cheek. I could practically feel the heat in his gaze, and I knew that he was remembering the taste of my blood on his tongue. I realized with a jolt that I wanted him to bite me. I wanted to feel his teeth scrape into my skin. I wanted his venom to fill me with that indescribable want. Our kiss last night had been electric and all-consuming, and I wanted to feel that fiery chemistry again.