Velocity (Karen Vail #3)(60)

Vail had just sunk into the seat when the office door opened. Standing there was a gaunt older man who barely broke five feet.

“Ah, Karen. Good to see you’re back. I’ve been meaning to remind you that I’ve got a special entrance for agents.” Rudnick thumbed an area over his shoulder. “It’s around—”

“Why do I need a special entrance?”

Rudnick broadened his face into a forced grin, as if summoning patience for a petulant child. “Many agents I’ve treated over the years have preferred not to be seen entering a psychologist’s office.”

“I deal with the mind all day, doc. I’m not afraid to admit I have to see someone to get mine straightened out.”

“But your ASAC sent you here. It wasn’t a voluntary act.”

“I was in denial. But Robby sat me down and we had a heart to heart. My boss was right in sending me here. Believe me, if I thought he was wrong—”

“You wouldn’t have come?”

Vail let a smile tease her lips. “Something like that.”

“Come,” Rudnick said, motioning her in with both hands, a hyper-welcoming gesture. “Let’s start.”

Vail sat down in a firmly upholstered seat opposite an identical counterpart a few feet from her.

“So,” Rudnick said, patting his thighs. “Tell me. How’s the anger management going?”

Why’d he have to start with that? How do I begin to answer? Should I tell him about my interactions with Scott Fuller—where I held my tongue but ended up in a fistfight—or about my confrontation with César Guevara, where I rammed my Glock into his forehead? Tough choice.

“You’re hesitating. Does that mean it’s been a mixed result?”

Vail grinned. “I couldn’t have put it better.”

“Well, then. That’s okay, Karen. It’s a work in progress. You at least have seen some improvement, hmm?”

“Definitely. I find I’m able to hold my thoughts without them spilling out. I’m getting better at filtering the sharp retorts. Except when it comes to my boss. I can’t help myself.”

Rudnick’s brow rose about a foot. “You—you talk back to Mr. Gifford?”

Vail waved a hand. “All the time.”

Rudnick nodded slowly but did not respond to that. “Yes. Well. Let me ask you—”

“It’s not a big deal. I just—you know how it is with some people. You’ve got a different way of relating to them. Some people you can joke around with, others you can’t. My boss, I can give him some abuse. I can usually tell when I push him too far.”

“So this is humor? You poke fun at him?”

“I guess there are times when I do that. Mostly it’s sarcasm.”

“And he’s okay with that?”

Vail shrugged both shoulders, a slow, demonstrative movement. “I’m still gainfully employed as a supervisory special agent. But—honestly, that’s the least of his issues with me. He probably figures it’s best to choose which battles to fight.”

Rudnick chewed the inside of his cheek. It wasn’t pronounced, but Vail could see his jaw moving, and a slight concavity in the skin.

“I’m scaring you, aren’t I?” Vail asked.

“Scaring?” He laughed. A short burst. “Not the word I would choose, no. But you are . . . concerning me. Respect for a superior is a basic tenet of an organizational structure. Surely you have a feel for that. So when you purposely abuse your ASAC, it tells me there’s more going on beneath the surface. Would you agree?” Rudnick tilted his head, sliding his chin slightly to his right.

Vail checked her watch. She couldn’t help it. Robby was on her mind—no surprise there—and she needed to get back to his case.

“Someplace you’d rather be?”

Vail looked up. “Hmm?”

“Checking your watch. It tells me—”

“Yes. You want me to be honest with you, so I’ll tell you what’s going on. Robby went missing. While I was in Napa—”

“During your vacation?”

“Yeah, well, things didn’t really work out the way we’d planned.” She sighed, rubbed hard at her left eye. Do I have to go through this again?P

“Did you and Robby have a . . . disagreement? Does that explain those bruises on your face?”

Vail sat up in her chair. “No, no. Nothing like that.” She took him through the events of the past ten days, realizing it was going to eat up a good portion of the remaining appointment time.

Rudnick listened with riveted interest. When she finished, he leaned back and seemed to absorb her pain. His eyes were glazed with nascent tears. “You’ve dealt with cases where families never learn the fate of their missing loved ones, yes?”

Vail nodded almost imperceptibly.

“Then this episode, at its very least, will make you a better agent. It will give you instant credibility when confronting a similar situation. That type of empathy can’t be faked or created. It’s genuine or it’s not there.” He paused a moment, studied her face, then continued. “As to you personally, how are you dealing with Robby’s disappearance?”

Vail wrapped a lock of hair around her right index finger, then pulled it behind her ear. “Not very well. That was one of those times when my anger management counseling didn’t help.”