Until You (Fall Away, #1.5)(44)
When all was done, the house was a disaster, and I was covered in sweat.
But I was as high as a kite. Nobody could hurt me if I could hurt them.
Blissfully numb and calm, I parked myself outside on the back porch with another bottle of Jack from my supply and let the rain cool me down. I didn’t know how long I was out there, but I was finally breathing and that felt good. There’s something to be said for acting like a five-year-old and breaking some shit. Control had finally settled over me again, and I just sat there and drank, soaking up the quiet in my head.
“Jared?”
I twisted my head and immediately lost my breath. Tate? Aw, Jesus Christ. No, no, no…
She was here? And in f*cking shorts and a tank top?
I turned back around, hoping she’d go away. I didn’t want to lose my shit with her. Or do anything stupid. I’d finally calmed down, but my head was nowhere near straight enough to deal with her right now.
“Jared, the dog was barking outside. I rang the doorbell. Didn’t you hear it?”
Damn, she was so close. I could feel the pull. I wanted to get closer. To sink into her arms until I couldn’t even remember yesterday.
She walked around in front of me, into the rain, and my fingers tingled. They wanted her.
I glanced up, only for a moment, unable to resist the pull.
Jesus Fucking Christ. She was drenched. And I looked down again, knowing what I would do if I kept looking. Her wet shirt stuck to her body, but she tried to hide it by crossing her arms. Her legs glistened with the water dripping down, and her shorts clung to her toned, wet thighs.
“Jared? Would you answer me?” she yelled. “The house is trashed.”
I tried looking at her again. Why? Who the f*ck knows? Every time I saw her, I wanted to bury my heart and body inside of her.
“The dog ran away,” I choked out. What the hell?
“So you threw a temper tantrum? Does your mom know you did that to the house?”
And that’s when the wall went back up. My mother. Tate looking at me like I couldn’t control myself. Like I was weak.
I didn’t want to hurt her anymore, but I wasn’t letting her in, either.
“What do you care? I’m nothing, right? A loser? My parents hate me. Weren’t those your words?” Yes, this was easier. Just push back.
She closed her eyes, looking embarrassed. “Jared, I should never have said those things. No matter what you’ve—”
“Don’t apologize,” I interrupted, swaying as I stood up to hover over her. “Groveling makes you look pathetic.”
She yelled something at me, but I was too lightheaded and aggravated to register what she was saying as I walked back into the house.
She followed me inside, and I tuned her out as I dried off the dog. But then she took the control out of my hands again when she rushed to empty my bottle down the drain.
What?
“Son of a bitch!” I ran up to her and tried prying the Jack out of her hands. “This is none of your business. Just leave.” I didn’t want her here to see me like this. She shouldn’t care about me. I’d done nothing to earn it. And I didn’t need it or her!
I jerked the bottle, and her body came flush with mine.
She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. And angry, she was even hotter. A fire was in her eyes, and her full bottom lip glistened from the rain. I didn’t want to stop this for anything. I wanted to lose all of my energy on her.
In more ways than one.
I saw her raise her hand, and my head jerked to the side with the sting of her hand, and I stood there for a moment, stunned.
She hit me!
I dropped the bottle. I didn’t give a damn about it anyway, and I hauled her up onto the counter. I didn’t know what I was doing, but it was out of my control. And for once, I had no problem with that.
She met my eyes, not looking away for a second, as her body squirmed against mine. I shouldn’t be holding her like this. I shouldn’t be crossing this line with her. But I had Tate in my arms for the first time in over three years, and I wasn’t letting go. The more I looked at her, and the more she let me touch her, I was completely hers.
And I hated and loved that at the same time.
“You f*cked me up today.”
“Good,” she challenged, and my hold on her tightened.
I jerked her into me again. “You wanted to hurt me? Did you get off on it? It felt good, didn’t it?”
“No, I didn’t get off on it,” she answered way too calmly. “I feel nothing. You are nothing to me.”
No. “Don’t say that.” I hadn’t pushed her away completely. I still had her, didn’t I?
I could smell her sweet breath as she leaned in, her lips moist with heat and sex. “Nothing,” she repeated, taunting me, and I was instantly as hard as a f*cking rock. “Now, get off—”
I took her mouth, eating up her sweet little whimper. She was f*cking mine, and that was it. Her smell, her skin, everything invaded my world, and I couldn’t see straight. My head felt dazed, like I was underwater, weightless and quiet. God, she tasted good.
I sucked on her bottom lip, tasting what I’d been f*cking dying to get at for years. And I wanted to taste her everywhere. I went too fast, but I couldn’t control myself. It was like I needed to fit in all the lost time right now.