Unplugged (Blue Phoenix, #3)(61)

“Ten more minutes, then we need to finish packing your things,” I tell Ella.

“I want to stay here,” she says digging furiously with her spade.

“I know, but we have to go home. Daddy misses you.”

Craig calls every day, demanding answers about why I took Ella to the States without telling him and insisting on talking to her. Strange how his sudden interest in Ella coincided with something happening outside of his control. I don’t understand his behaviour because he knew we were going away. Craig’s insistent he’s coming over to the house as soon as we get back to Cardiff. We land in the morning and I protest how selfish he is because we’ll be tired.

Craig laughed saying I was the one being selfish. I hung up.

The sunlight bounces off the blue of the Pacific, the horizon meeting the ocean and the sky clear of clouds. I’m in a dream I’ll wake up from. Eager to feel the warm water on my feet one last time, I head to the shoreline and let the waves lap over my toes. Liam joins me and holds my hand.

The simple gesture, the gentleness of his touch and warmth of his presence drags reality back. We’re leaving all this behind tomorrow and a few days after that, we return to our individual worlds, only seeing each other occasionally. I’m tangled with Liam’s life and the thread pulls me into knots. I fight the coming tears but one escapes.

“Cerys? What’s wrong?” asks Liam.

“It hurts,” I say quietly.

“What hurts? Are you okay?”

The words I’ve bottled up as they’ve grown in my mind over the last couple of days stumble out. “Loving you hurts because I know one day it will tear me apart. And when you do, it’ll break Ella’s heart too.”

“I don’t understand. I’m not going to hurt you.”

“Really? How can you promise that? Nobody can.”

He takes my arm and turns me toward him. “You don’t understand. I don’t just love you; but I ache for you when I can’t see or touch you. I have done ever since you kissed me in the bedroom at Christmas. Even the slightest touch soothes me because I somehow sense you love me, too.” He rests his fingers beneath my chin and kisses me softly. “I feel connected and complete.”

I sniff back the stupid tears that are so unwarranted around Liam, the man who speaks from his heart to mine. Holding his face with one hand, I return his kiss.

Liam rubs away the tear that touches his cheek. “The idea of anything or anyone hurting you or when I see Craig upsetting you, I get something like anger, but worse –it flashes through me. I want to wrap you both up away from the world and keep you safe.”

Liam, the laid-back guy with a big heart, hides another man beneath. I know this Liam; he’s the dominant and possessive man who finds his way into our bed. The fact I arouse this uncontrolled side of him concerns me. I’m not afraid Liam will hurt me, but I am worried about his reaction if anybody else does.

“I love you and I want to take care of you,” he says. “I want to always be there for you and Ella, and whatever happens, I will be.”

“Thank you.”

Slipping my hands around his neck and digging my fingers into the back of his hair, I look into the eyes of a man struggling with how he feels. The connection we have through a look or a touch is strange, the unspoken communication finally allowing me to understand how two people are meant to be.

“So you’re saying you’re a lion and not a kitten?” I ask.

Liam grabs my backside and pulls me into his hips. “You don’t need to ask me that.”

I brace myself for one of his hard kisses, but he tunes into my need for comfort and tempers the heart-thumping desire of our bodies touching. Gently holding my face, Liam reminds me how our intimacy goes beyond the physical, and how the slightest touch or kiss pushes him further into my soul. We’re not just a part of each other’s lives now, but a part of each other.

The trip back to the house from the beach is longer than usual, as if walking away from the dream to the reality edging back in.

CHAPTER 27



CERYS



We arrive home in Liam’s black Alfa Romeo; I wish he’d choose something less conspicuous when he parks outside my tiny house. He kills the engine and I sit for a moment, summoning up the motivation to get out. How long before Craig appears?

“You okay?” he asks, closing a hand around mine.

“Tired.”

“Not as tired as your snoring princess,” he says with a smile.

Ella again insisted on wearing her princess costume for travelling. Her new favourite is Elsa and she now complains she wants blonde hair. I explain there’s a lot in life we’d like, but can’t have, a lesson to be reinforced now we’re home.

Liam carries Ella in, and then goes back for suitcases. I fill and switch the kettle on, straight back to my daily routine without thinking. We could be an ordinary couple returning from a brief holiday and part of me would give everything for Liam to be an ordinary man.

I’m dozing on Liam’s shoulder, sitting together on the sofa in the lounge when the doorbell rings. Liam mutters something and I shake myself awake.

“That better hadn’t be Craig!”

“Who else would it be?” asks Liam. “I’m surprised he wasn’t at the bloody airport.”