Unhinged (Necessary Evils #1)(53)

“I can do that, but it will take longer than searching just one name,” Calliope said.

“Do we really believe this kid offed himself?” Atticus asked suddenly.

Thomas turned to frown in his direction. “What do you mean?”

“Holt wasn’t just a child rapist. He was a killer. He killed the kids he hurt. Not all of them, but a good amount. What if it wasn’t just him? What if these men have been eliminating the children who complain? The ones who refuse to keep the secret or, like Josiah, possibly remember later?”

Thomas looked pained. “Calliope, you know what to do. Add children who went missing or who died under suspicious circumstances to the list.”

Archer cleared his throat. “You should probably also cross-reference the sex offender registry with children who came into contact with O’Hara. Some victims go on to become offenders, as we all know.”

Noah’s insides curdled like milk. He couldn’t imagine ever wanting to hurt a child the way somebody had hurt him. But the things these men had done to him had changed Noah. Even when he didn’t remember, it had changed him. He’d had a huge hole in his heart, one that he could never fill, not with drugs or alcohol or casual rough sex. He’d spent his life feeling worthless and…tainted…like he had a permanent stain on his soul that only he could see.

Still, Thomas was right. If a person couldn’t keep their impulses in check, they were a danger to society. Once a person crossed the line from victim to aggressor, the good of the people outweighed any sympathy for the child the monster used to be. It had to. If not, the cycle continued.

“Get back to me as soon as you have anything, please, Calliope,” Thomas said.

“Aye, aye, Capitan,” Calliope said, then the line disconnected.

The others began to make their way to the entrance, but Thomas approached Noah, holding out a hand to help him up off the floor. Noah took it, noting the calluses on his palms. How did a doctor have such rough hands? Adam rose on his own, hovering over Noah’s shoulder.

“Why don’t you go join your brothers,” Thomas said. “I would like to speak to your Noah alone.”

“Why?” Adam asked, tone somewhere between alarmed and suspicious.

Noah felt both those emotions and then some. He found Thomas way more intimidating than Adam and his brothers combined. Who was more terrifying than a man who raised and trained psychopaths? It was like meeting a lion tamer. Noah didn’t know if the man was crazy or confident in his abilities. He wasn’t sure which he found more terrifying.

“Because if Noah is going to be part of this family, he needs to understand what he’s signed on for.”

“I just don’t understand why I can’t come,” Adam said sullenly.

Thomas shook his head. “Don’t pout, Adam.” To Noah, he said, “Why don’t we go chat by the pool? It’s lovely outside.”

Noah’s heart plummeted to his shoes, but he simply nodded.

Once they were alone, Thomas glanced at Noah, a small smile on his face. “Are you afraid of me?”

“Yes,” Noah answered honestly.

Thomas tilted his head. “But not the others?”

“No.”

“Interesting. Why is that?” Thomas asked, gesturing for Noah to sit down at the poolside table.

“Because they don’t do anything without your permission. They would only hurt me on your orders. That makes you the scary one.”

Thomas chuckled. “You’re smart. That’s a good thing.” He gazed out over the blue waters of the infinity pool, so Noah did, too, watching it spill over the edge into oblivion. “You understand my son can never love you.”

It wasn’t a question, but Noah treated it as one, a pit forming in his stomach. “Yes. I know.”

“Can you help me understand why you want to be with somebody who cannot love you back? I know it’s not our money. I observed the two of you carefully. You are genuinely fond of my son. So, tell me, what is it you get from him?”

There was no malice in the man’s tone, more a curiosity, like Noah had now become part of the experiment. Noah sighed. It was so much more complex than anything he could put into words. All he could do was share what he could articulate. “He protects me. He takes care of me. He would kill or die for me. He sees me. Nobody ever sees me.”

Thomas nodded, seeming to absorb Noah’s words. “He takes care of you how? What happened after I spoke with him on the phone yesterday? He was very angry with me for suggesting you should talk to a therapist—you should by the way. But what happened last night?”

Noah felt himself smile. “He found me drunkenly clutching a vodka bottle and took me downstairs, wrapped me in a blanket, and just held me. We watched cartoons, ate pizza, and got drunk.”

Thomas made a noise of surprise. “All on his own?”

Noah shook his head. “No. Calliope told him what to do. But the fact that he cared enough to ask has to mean something, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, I suppose it does. You’re an adult, Noah. I’m not going to attempt to tell you or my son that you cannot see each other. I truly believe he would come unhinged at the slightest suggestion of it. But being a part of this family means not only keeping our secrets but becoming part of our cover-up. You’ll have to lie convincingly enough to pass a lie detector test. You will need to train to protect yourself. Shooting, fighting, all of it. I can’t have Adam distracted worrying about your wellbeing. You’ll have to think quickly, act quickly, and never, ever hesitate. In this family, everybody pulls their weight.”