Unexpected Gift(67)

I take a swig, letting the burn build in my throat. “Wow! That is a lot stronger than I remember. I might need to take an Uber home if we drink too much. Think they will come out here?” I say with a painful chuckle, taking another swig of the strong whiskey. I swirl the dark amber in the bottle, staring at the flecks of grey against the stone. I swallow the emotion in my throat and rub my hand over the ground in front of Brandon's headstone. It’s still fresh, like they just got buried. The grass hasn’t even grown over it yet.

I pour another shot and bring the bottle to my mouth, taking a long gulp. “I miss you. I miss you both so much. Things aren’t the same without you.” I pinch the bridge of my nose and let out a sad chuckle. “I mean, who thought we would be here, huh?” I take another swig, knowing that I need to slow down, but I also know that I won’t. No need to lie to myself.

The wind blows again, sending a few leaves swirling around me. “Molly picked a beautiful spot to bury you guys. I don’t know if you can see it from where you are, but it’s right underneath a big oak tree. Like the one you proposed to Amelia under. That’s why she picked it. She wanted you guys to be buried under something that brought you peace and happiness.”

I pour another shot in the dirt. “I hope you’re happy. Wherever you are. Me? Funny you should ask. You’d be surprised, but I’m happy.” I take another drink, thinking about all the memories I have made with Molly. “First, I ask that you don’t haunt me, okay? I really don’t know how you will feel about what I'm going to tell you, and honestly, it scares the shit out of me. That’s why I brought the booze.” I tilt the bottle, spilling more than a shot on the grave. I take a gulp, too, trying to gain the courage I need to share my news with Brandon. “I’m in love with your sister.”

I wait for the slap in the face or the curse from a ghost, but nothing comes. I sigh with a little relief. My imagination can really get the best of me sometimes. “I think I’ve always been in love with her. We danced around each other for a long time all those years, but I think you knew that. I think that’s why you pulled your magic trick and made it so that we had to live together for Posie. She is doing great, by the way. Your parents…man, I don’t know what to do about your parents.”

I run my fingers through my hair with intense aggravation. “Your mom and dad haven’t seen Posie since the funeral. They call, but they won’t visit.” I turn to Amelia and pour a little of the whiskey that used to make her gag over the dirt that covers her casket. “Your dad has been awesome, by the way," I tell Amelia. "He soaks up as much time as he possibly can with her. Posie is with him now. We came up with a schedule. He sees her every other weekend. Comes all the way from Billings. He really loves her.”

“We are doing the best we can. She is healthy. It was hard at first. Molly and I were clashing, arguing, not getting any sleep, and mourning over the both of you, so it took some adjusting, but we're making it out alive. So, it brings me here.” I go to take another drink, but I think better of it. I’ve had enough. I twist the cap back on and set it against the tree.

“I love Molly, Brandon. I think I always have. I just didn’t know. Or maybe not, because if I loved her, I guess I would have known?” I scratch the side of my head with confusion. “I know you would want someone better for her. I know I have a long, long history of having a certain…sexual prowl about me, if you will, but I swear she isn’t like that for me. It’s different with her.” I pluck a few blades of grass from the ground, breaking them into small pieces.

“She makes me want to reevaluate my life and goals. I still want to be Chief of my own department, but that’s not any time soon. If or when it happens, I want her and Posie there next to me, every step of the way.” The wind blows again, and I close my eyes, enjoying how it feels. “I could really use the sound of your voice right about now. I really need to talk to you, man. I need my best friend.” Tears threaten my eyes, and I clear my throat, holding them back because I’ve cried enough. I’m done crying.

My phone falls out of my jacket pocket, landing in the wet grass and getting water all over the front screen. I pick it up and dry it off with my shirt sleeve when the notification of his voicemail pops up again. “I’ve been ignoring this ever since you left it. I haven’t been ready to hear it. But I’m wondering if this is your way of talking to me. I sound crazy. I don’t know if I believe in signs or any of that shit, but I don’t know what else to believe in when I miss you so fucking much.” I rub my chest when it starts to ache. “I want to believe you’re still out there. I want to believe you’re watching over us. Over Posie. Over Molly. But how can you when you’re six feet underground and getting rained on?”

I stare at the notification saying that I have one voicemail. I guess if I am going to listen to it, it should be right now while I’m with Brandon. I take a deep breath in and let it out. “Alright, let’s do this.” Instead of swiping, I press the alert, taking me to the voicemail app.

The play button mocks me. I hover my thumb over it, getting closer and closer until I pull away and rub my hand over my mouth, scratching the scruff on my chin. “I can do this. Fuck, I can do this.” I twist off the cap of the whiskey and take another drink for good measure. At this point, I’m going to have to call Molly or have an Uber come get me. Between drinking it myself and pouring it on their graves, less than half of the bottle remains.