Twisted (Never After #4)(18)

It’s confusing, my fascination with him.

I don’t feel butterflies like when I stare at Aidan. More like fire that’s sizzling beneath my skin, Pop Rocks exploding in my stomach one by one until they make my body tremble and heat flare between my legs.

“What are you doing?”

Aidan’s whispered voice sends my heart into my throat, and I spin around, my hands moving out to grab his shirt in my fists as I push him back violently.

“Shh!” I press my finger to his mouth.

Aidan smiles, his dimples creasing the apples of his cheeks, and my heart starts to calm into a smoother rhythm.

“Who were you spying on?” he asks.

I narrow my gaze. “None of your business.”

Footsteps sound from where my father and Julian just were, and I panic, grabbing Aidan’s hand without thinking and hauling him down the hallway.

Julian Faraci already looks at me like I’m an annoying bug that needs to be squashed; I don’t need for him to find out I’ve been stalking him in my spare time.

Aidan follows easily, his fingers tightening around mine as he lets me lead him blindly. We race through the halls and don’t stop until we’ve made it back to the rooms where our live-in staff stay, including Aidan and his mom.

I stop, out of breath from running.

“Now what?” Aidan laughs, squeezing my hand before releasing it.

Shrugging, I take a second to stare at him. It’s the first time I’ve seen him since I’ve been back, and until I met Julian, Aidan was the one who took over all my thoughts. I could barely wait to see him again after so many months of being gone at school.

Now that he’s standing here in front of me, that familiar fluttering takes flight in my stomach, and a slow smile breaks across my face.

He steps in close, his gaze growing darker. “You look good, princess. All grown up, huh?”

My cheeks heat.

A woman’s voice rings out from the staff break room a few doors away, and Aidan tilts his head, grabbing my hand again and pulling me with him.

“Come on,” he says, dragging me along until we reach the last door on the left. “No one will find us in here.”

And nobody ever did. At least no one until Julian.

I glance down at my lap, the phone screen jostling with my shaky legs. It’s open on my text conversation with Aidan. I cringe when I see the numerous strings of messages he’s sent over the past few days, all of them going unanswered. Then there’s my latest one asking him to meet me here. But he didn’t respond.

Maybe he didn’t get the message? Or maybe he’s so mad he won’t show up.

My stomach rolls and tightens, sending a shot of nausea up my throat.

I close my eyes and count back from ten, telling myself that everything is fine and there’s no reason to worry, repeating the phrase like a mantra. It’s a tactic my guidance counselor taught me when I was in primary school, back when I used to have anxiety attacks before tests, terrified I would fail and have to face my father’s disappointment.

To be honest, it’s never really worked. The only thing that’s ever calmed me enough to quiet the racing thoughts is my camera.

The door swings open, the sudden noise in the quiet space causing my eyes to shoot open and my heart to jump.

Aidan flashes me a wide grin, showcasing the dimples in his cheeks. He glances behind him into the hallway before closing the door and walking toward me. The hem of his purple shirt lifts slightly as he runs a hand through his bouncy brown hair, and when he reaches the bed, he sits down next to me and grasps my hand in his.

“Hey, princess.” His eyes are cast down as he rubs his thumb across the back of my knuckles. “Everything okay?”

Guilt makes my stomach cramp, and I squeeze my fingers around his. “I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you, I just…”

He winces at my words. “Avoiding? I was hoping you’d have a better excuse.”

And now it’s my eyes that won’t meet his, choosing to focus on our linked hands instead. “I talked to my father.”

Aidan sucks in a breath, his head snapping up. His gaze is searing the side of my face, and the hope I can feel permeating off him burns through my skin.

“You did?” he asks.

My mouth goes dry as I force the words out. “He wants me to get married.”

Aidan’s eyes darken and he drops my hand like it’s lava, running his fingers through his hair as he lets out a humorless chuckle. “I’m guessing not to me?”

I purse my lips, my eyes dipping again.

“So you tell him no.” His voice is firm. Like it’s just that simple. Yes or no. This or that. My father or him.

But life isn’t black and white, despite how much he might want it to be.

“Aidan…” I start, my voice breaking on his name. “It’s not that simple. It’s his dying wish.”

He laughs again and stands up, the mattress creaking from how fast the weight shifts. “So what, just fuck me then, right? Fuck everything we’ve talked about for years? Fuck everything I feel for you and all the promises we’ve made?”

His cheeks flush, and my chest throbs as I shake my head, trying to force the words I need to say off my tongue.

“I know you’re upset— ”

“Upset?” he interrupts. “You just told me you’re going to be marrying someone else, Yasmin. What the hell am I supposed to feel, gratitude?”