Tragic Bonds (The Bonds That Tie #5)(70)

“And if it is true?” Sawyer asks, his eyebrows reaching his hairline.

I shouldn't say anything to him, not by official Tac procedures anyway, but he's the closest thing we have to family, the one we've chosen instead of the one that we were born into, some of whom had happily stood in front of a room full of unfriendly faces to attempt to tear us down.

“Then we make a plan, and we wipe the Resistance off of the face of the earth before they come after our families again. We get rid of them all.”





My mind keeps slipping back to Nox's words, but I can't find a way to rationalize any of it.

I usually leave the research and history parts of this job to Nox and North. Not only are they both more well-read than I am on the subjects, but they enjoy it. Talking through the tiny minutia of our society and how we've come to be is like crack to them both. While I am perfectly capable of joining in if I choose to, it's not really my forte.

I don't need to know the history of my Gift to be good at working my way through people's heads. Discovering whatever I need to know about what makes them tick to keep our Bonded Group in the clear is as easy as breathing to me, but now… I can't deny that I'm intrigued. Enough that I want to read up on what it is that Nox is talking about.

I don't feel like I've been here before.

I'm not sure what exactly that's supposed to feel like, but I've never questioned the limitations or boundaries of my Gift. Even after Oli and I had Bonded and I suddenly found myself without limits, there had never been a doubt in me that it was my connection with her that had given me that boost. Never once did I think that it might come from something more, something inside of me.

I check in with my bond again, but it doesn't feel any different. Nothing about Nox’s words had opened up anything inside of me, but I doubt he'd be the one to trigger anything anyway.

It would have to be my Bonded.

I check in with her and find her and Sage sparring in the training center together. Now that she can block me out, a frustration I am too stubborn to bitch Nox out about, I find it harder to get a gauge on where she is or how she's feeling. The walls inside of her are now permanently up, unless she decides to let me in.

I understand her need for privacy. Being exposed all the time wasn't fair to her, but it doesn't help dampen my anxiety. She feels me brush up against the wall inside of her mind and lets it down a little, just enough to communicate with me.

Are you okay? Has something happened?

I chew on the inside of my cheek so that no one around me notices the tension slipping away from me at the sound of her voice.

Everything's fine. I just needed my Bonded for a minute, sorry to distract you.

I feel her flush of happiness through the connection. Don’t apologize for needing me. I always need you too. Are you busy? Can you come help fix my form? Kieran is a tyrant.

Kieran is helping her with her form at my request because I’ve found myself too wrapped up in planning to properly focus on what my Bonded needs.

The looming deadline of our next mission hangs over our heads.

Just because the rest of the Bonded Group and I are going to do everything in our power to make sure that she never has to go hand to hand with someone doesn't mean we'll be successful in that, and I never want to have a regret about how much she was taught here.

I already have too many regrets when it comes to her.

I can't. I'm working on something with Nox. I'll see you tonight though. We'll come down for dinner at the house.

She sends me her feeling of contentment at my words, the emotion pouring into my chest the same way as if I was feeling it myself.

Will you sleep next to me tonight? Do you think you could convince Nox to let us both sleep in his room? Atlas is still jumpy about the shadow creatures being out, and I miss them too.

Nox would rather chew his own arm off than let any of us sleep in his room. The fact that he had allowed North in there when Oli freaked out says more about their relationship change than anything else that has happened since.

You can stay with him tonight and have me tomorrow if you need, Bonded. I can share when I need to.

North reads over the paper in his hand three times as the elevator takes us down to the cells below. It doesn't matter that he's read the information already a dozen times in the safety of his office; he’s still working through it the same way I did, as though trying to commit it to memory.

“How sure of this can we be?” he mutters, and even though I know he's talking to himself, I answer.

“As sure as we can be of anything. We'll still have to proceed as though this is a booby trap, but Evans has already checked out three of the camps. All of them are there, and from what he can tell, the information is accurate.”

He nods again, the same way he has every other time I've given him this information, but I don't blame his disbelief.

I'm struggling with it myself.

It would have been much easier if Atlas’ mother had turned herself in. If she were standing here in front of me, I could have easily gone through her brain until I found some whiff of a lie, but with nothing but the cold, hard information on the page, we have to find different avenues to try first.

We haven't told Atlas yet.

We’re not keeping a secret from him, or from Oli, but we're planning on having as much information as we can have before we head back to the house tonight to face them and tell them what's going on.