Tragic Bonds (The Bonds That Tie #5)(41)

Not tonight.





Chapter Twelve





Gabe



I'm dreaming.

There’s no question about that, but I already know that something is off about this dream. The moment that awareness hits me, I can feel her here. It's not that I feel like there's something wrong, like there's someone intruding on my mind space, because she’s the other half of my soul who walks this earth beside me, as perfectly right in this space as I myself am, but it’s still different to have her here in my mind like this.

I’m so primed to sense her here that I'm aware of her instantly. It takes her a little longer to recognize that she’s wandered her way into my mind, the fog of sleep taking a moment to lift before she’s blinking around at the space with just a little bit of panic.

“Jesus. I'm so sorry, Gabe,” she says with a groan, and I have to concentrate to reach her in the murky darkness of my unconscious state, but when I do, some of the tension eases out of her.

She’s sitting there on what appears to be a small rock. I don't know whether I imagined that rock for her or whether she has the ability to manipulate this state as well. All of this is so far beyond my own ability to rationalize, but I take a seat next to her.

“Don't worry about it, Bonded. You’re welcome to every part of me, sleeping or awake.”

I watch as, even in this dream state, a blush creeps over her cheeks at my words. I’ve discovered that she reacts that way to soft and kind words, even when they’re the truest ones that have ever passed my lips.

“It's still an invasion of privacy,” she says, her voice gloomy and upset. I wrap an arm around her shoulders.

“Stop beating yourself up, Bonded. I already know that you didn't mean to. But even if you did, I would have welcomed you here.”

She sighs, burying her face into the crook of my neck as she murmurs under her breath, “Just because we're Bonded doesn't mean that I am entitled to every little facet of your lives. You deserve to have some privacy, and I've already ripped that away from one of my Bonded… I don't want to do that to anyone else.”

I shrug at her but tuck her further into my body. “Honestly, Nox is the only one who was ever going to have an issue with that, and you guys have sorted that out between you, right?”

She sighs again and nods, the tiniest movement of her head. “I don't think he wants me to see his nightmares though. I don’t think anyone in the Bonded Group would want me seeing their nightmares.”

When she’s in this type of state, I already know there's no talking her out of it. The guilt is eating away at her regardless, so better to distract her than try to argue with it. “Anything you want to see while we're here? Any of my memories you want to spelunk with me? I'm an open book, you know. Nothing to hide.”

She huffs out a laugh and pulls away just enough to look up at me as the corners of her mouth quirk up and transform her face in the most gorgeous of grins.

She’s heartbreakingly beautiful.

“I’m sure there's something I could find that you wouldn't want me to see. You're not actually a saint, you know.”

I clutch my chest as though she's mortally wounded me, and though there is the tiniest of truth in her words, there’s not a lot of shit I’m embarrassed about or regret, and there's also nothing that I wouldn't give her.

I'm happy to sit here and banter with her for the rest of the night, keeping her mind safe and loved within my own until we wake, but there is a small growling noise off in the distance that has me stiffening around her protectively.

“What the hell was that?” Oli mumbles as she tries to look around me. I take a deep breath to resign myself to the truth.

“That would be my dragon. He's obviously figured out that you're here and wants some attention.”

She glances up at me in shock. “Your dragon… he talks to you?”

I groan and rub a hand over my face, the action just as soothing in my dream as it is in real life, as though I am able to clear away all of the terrible thoughts with the action. “It couldn't before. My bond wasn't like yours or the Dravens’, but after my dragon first appeared… it now has a voice.”

I stopped for a second and think about it before tilting my head. “Well, not a voice, exactly. More like demands— feelings that it transfers through to me, and it’s very clear, even without actually speaking the words.”

Oli stares at me as though I’ve kicked a shadow puppy right here in front of her. I try not to squirm, but it feels like I’ve done something terrible to her, and fuck if I can figure out what is it.

Her voice comes out like a croak. “So, by Bonding with me, your bond changed. That doesn't seem right. That’s not what’s supposed to happen, Gabe.”

Ah.

She’s worried that she’s hurt me unintentionally. That I can deal with.

I shrug and smooth a hand down her face affectionately, a mirror of what I had done only a few hours ago when she had been on her knees for me, and a deep blush blooms over her cheeks as she remembers the action as well.

“I’m starting to learn not to question things, Bonded. Nothing about our Bonded Group is following the ‘rules’ of the Gifted. It's easier if we all just learn to roll with it.”