Too Hot to Handle (Romancing the Clarksons #1)(76)

Jasper had one distinct thought, directed squarely at himself:

What a selfish son of a bitch you turned out to be.

He stood in the bustling dining room, witnessing the magic wielded by the Clarksons, and still he wanted to break that chain. Take his precious link—Rita—and stow her away in the kitchen. A place from which she’d only just broken free. So what if he would be standing there, right beside her. A teammate. A lover. Yeah, maybe if he got really fucking lucky, she would wear his ring one day. So what, though, when their three-day love affair couldn’t compete with the family she was fighting to get back. With the new life—far from the restaurant business—she so desperately wanted.

He loved Rita. So he had to let her go.

Dinner service wound down gradually, customers filing out the front door with surprised smiles in his direction. Waving, telling him they’d be back tomorrow. Nearly every table in the place was empty, save the one tucked in the corner. Jasper did a double take when Rosemary stepped out of the hidden nook—her hand tucked into the crook of his grandfather’s arm. A tinny ring began in his ears, the sides of his throat feeling tight, as his grandfather approached, eyes that Jasper shared scanning the room with something akin to approval. But that couldn’t be right.

Finally, the older man’s gaze landed on him. “Jasper,” he said, holding out his hand to shake his grandson’s. “Well done.”

For so long this moment had been what drove Jasper. Repaying the man he’d let down. Now that he’d reached that moment in time, there was definite relief. A rushing landslide of it down his back. There was appreciation, too, for having gained back the respect he’d lost. But when he searched that same landslide for happiness, it eluded him. Just then, he was positive it always would.

“Thank you,” Jasper said to his grandfather, leaning over to kiss Rosemary’s cheek. “For everything.”

After watching the people who’d raised him walk out the door—the final remaining customers—Jasper turned to find Rita watching him from the waitress station, one hip propped against the counter. Sadness lurked in her eyes, but there was pride there as well. In him. In Buried Treasure. The apron she wore was covered in splashes of sauce, a dash having made it up to her cheek, flipping his insides around like a pancake. Without thinking, he went to Rita, used his thumb to wipe away the sauce.

“Congratulations,” she whispered, watching his hand move away. “We had nothing sent back to the kitchen except for compliments. Sage said you’re booked solid for the next three weeks.” She reached out as if to lay a hand on his arm but let it drop, her tongue wetting her lips in what looked like a nervous gesture. “I’m so glad you created this place. It’s going to be a town landmark, and it’s due to your hard work.”

Lord, Jasper wanted to shake her. Her words were genuine, but they weren’t coming at the right time. They were unwelcome when good-bye was so close on the horizon. “I appreciate that. Everything your family did tonight.” A cannonball materialized in his stomach, dragging him down, down. He didn’t want anyone there to witness when he hit bottom. Especially her. “But this is where I let you go, Rita. I need you to go. I can’t look at you anymore without making a fool out of myself.”

Rita closed her eyes, opening them to reveal twin pools of tears. “I’m so sorry.” Her hands trembled as she peeled off the soiled apron and laid it on the waitress station. “I never expected you. Or them. Or any of this.” She swiped beneath her eyes. “Leaving at night feels wrong, doesn’t it? But I don’t think I’ll be able to resist one more day if we wait until the sun comes up.”

It was like releasing a gorgeous, majestic creature back into the wild. Except she was a woman he damn well believed was born to be his second half. And she wouldn’t go. The longer she stood there, the more hurt she heaped on him. So he leaned in close, careful not to let their bodies make contact, and he kissed her forehead. “Hey. Maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow and find you on the side of the road again. My own version of Groundhog Day. Maybe I’ll get a second chance to do it all over again.”

Her breath puffed out against his neck. “Good-bye, Jasper.”

The last sound he remembered hearing was the screen door smacking, signaling that she’d gone. That was when the thunder began to roll in his ears, muting the world around him as he stumbled across the restaurant. He pulled out the chair Rita had sat in the first night he’d shown her Buried Treasure. The night she’d named the place. He sat, buried his face in his arms on the table. And he didn’t move.





Chapter Thirty-Five



It took only twenty minutes for everyone to clear their belongings out of the motel and climb into the Suburban. Something about that felt very wrong to Rita. Surely twenty minutes was insufficient for erasing any evidence of their stay in Hurley. Wasn’t it? On impulse, she’d left a T-shirt in one of the motel-room closets, closing the door on it while a tiny intruder played Whac-A-Mole in her stomach. Now they all sat in silence in the Hurley Arms parking lot waiting for Belmont, who had disappeared without telling anyone where he was going. Although, since that was typical behavior for their older brother, no one commented, even if Sage appeared anxious, her head on a swivel as she waited for his return. Aaron scanned e-mails in his cell phone—humming “Raspberry Beret”—while Peggy clinked together the engagement rings around her neck.