Too Hard(27)
It doesn't help my morning when I reached for my phone and the first thing I saw was a text from both Owen and Elijah. The Barton Twins. Their dad is married to my cousin who is more of a sister to me than anything. She and I have been close since we could walk and though we might be opposites in a lot of ways we balance each other out.
The twins randomly send me messages in our group chat and today Owen’s is a simple Today's the day. Elijah’s is a little more bold with about fucking time.
They’d talked me into decorating the new place they bought and I agreed but haven’t seen it yet. I promised them I would but it could be a mistake on my part. There wasn’t a way for me to tell them no, but how can I decorate their place while dreaming about the two of them doing all kinds of dirty things to me.
My fantasies are filthy and I should probably go hide under a rock somewhere because of them. But when I think about the both of them I’ve never been more turned on. Sometimes they fight over who gets to have me first but in the end it doesn’t matter because we all come out happy. At least my in dream world that’s how it works.
They are technically my cousins by marriage and three years younger than me. None of that would add up to this working out. Especially with my fantasy of having the both of them together. It’s twisted and I’m sure they’d be disgusted to know that’s what I’m thinking.
I responded with a quick congratulations and told them I’ll see them at the party tonight. I went to their graduation and watched them walk across the stage. It was only three years ago I watched them graduate high school. Sometimes it felt like the years flew by and other times they dragged. They were right though, today’s the day and they’re finally done. They’re men in every sense of the word but I always thought they were from the moment I met them.
Owen received a bachelor's degree in finance while Elijah’s is in business. They’ve been chomping at the bit to take over their dad’s company since they went to college. They both worked there while in school and never relaxed and enjoyed college. It’s always work and school with those two and nothing more. Maybe they’re just better at hiding what they’re up to in their free time.
With them working with their dad I see them pretty often. Not only because they’re family but because I do all the interior design work for any of the Barton Construction projects. The company keeps me busy. So much so I can barely take on any extra work outside of them. The Bartons are always dropping new projects on me and sometimes I think they specifically go after jobs with me in mind.
I push that thought from my mind, not wanting to go down that road. Too many times I’ve let my mind play with the idea that they did it to keep me close. That one or both of the twins have been harboring feelings for me.
I’ve got more important things to focus on like what I’m doing going to the graduation party on a date with Luke. He hands me a warm to-go cup and I take a sip.
“Thanks for the coffee.” I tell him as I breathe in the sweet caramel treat.
All the contractors know it’s my favorite and they usually get me one if they know I’m in the office and have a favor to ask. Like asking for me to take on one their new clients. I don't think Luke is going to ask me though because he’s a carpenter and in high demand. It’s normally me asking him for the favor. He’s one of the best I’ve ever seen so if I can get him for a project he’s always my first pick.
I wish I had something a little harder right now but the coffee will have to do. Luke and I are heading to the graduation party together and I know I can probably snag a glass of wine or two if I need something to help me get through the night. It isn’t going to help heal my broken heart but it can nurse me through the night. I could come out the other side with no one knowing what is going on under the fake smile that’s ever so present lately.
Two more people in my life are entering a new phase and I’m still stuck in the same spot unmoving. I’m happy for Owen and Elijah because they’re some of the sweetest and funniest men I’ve ever met. They make me think there are other good men out there but the problem is I don’t want other men. I want them. Now they’ll be beginning their lives and likely get married. I’ll be front row to it all and it’s going to freaking hurt.
“No problem. I was grabbing a cup too.” Luke takes a sip from his own before he gives me a warm smile that does nothing for me. I shouldn’t have agreed to go with him. I thought having someone with me tonight might help but now I feel like an asshole because I know this isn’t going anywhere with Luke.
When Luke had asked me how the Barton twins were doing it popped right out of my mouth that the twins where graduating, along with me asking if he wanted to come with me to the party. He knows everyone there since the Bartons subcontract him out when they need something detailed done. He seemed surprised by me asking but smiled and said he’d pick me up.
Now here we are almost to Butch and my cousin Harlow’s home where the graduation party is taking place. An anxious energy starts to fill me the closer and closer we get. What if they brought a date? They never talk about girls they’re dating or hooking up with. When I’ve asked before they always say they’re too busy. Both of them are ridiculous flirts so there have to be women in their lives even if they don't talk to me about them.
“Nellie.” Luke says my name snapping me from my thoughts of Owen and Elijah with other women.