To Have and to Hoax(84)
“Did they not notice that I danced with James, as soon as he was through with Lady Fitzwilliam?” Violet asked, irritated.
“No,” Diana said slowly. “I believe they saw you cut in on their dance in a most scandalous fashion—and if that wasn’t the action of a jealous wife, I fail to see any other alternate explanation for your behavior that seems the slightest bit plausible.”
“Oh, good heavens.” Violet buried her face in her hands. “I shall have to tell Wooton I am not at home to callers, if it’s as bad as you say.”
“I already took the liberty of doing so,” Diana said serenely, sipping her tea. She focused a shrewd look on Jeremy. “Though that doesn’t explain how you got in, Willingham.”
“No one can resist my charms,” Jeremy said with a winning grin. “Not even a butler of such sternness as Wooton.”
“Strange, seeing as I have no difficulty in doing so.”
“That is because, Lady Templeton, I have never wasted them on you. I assure you, were I to employ them, you would not stand a chance.”
“In any case,” Diana said, steering the conversation back to where she wanted it, “Violet, I had at least three separate gentlemen inquire about you last night. My dance card was full for the entire evening, so eager were people to hear whatever I might know about the state of your marriage.”
“Your dance card is always full,” Violet pointed out, quite truthfully.
“True,” Diana said placidly, taking another sip of tea without any trace of false modesty. “But for once they didn’t seem remotely interested in peering down my bodice in the most ungentlemanly fashion imaginable. All they wanted to do was talk!” She sounded thrilled and disgruntled in almost equal measure.
“You might have that experience more often if you gave them less to look at,” Jeremy drawled.
“And yet you never seem able to resist the temptation to take a nice long ogle yourself,” Diana shot back.
“My dear Lady Templeton, I am a man,” Jeremy said, as though this explained everything. And, given Violet’s experience with men, she supposed it probably did.
“Nonetheless,” Violet said, deciding that the best course of action was to ignore this entire exchange, “I have no interest in any gentlemen who may choose to call on me, so they would be wasting their time.”
“Violet, don’t be so hasty,” Diana chided. “Some of the gentlemen who asked me specifically about you last night were very handsome.”
“I say,” Jeremy said, “I don’t think I should be present for this conversation.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” Diana replied. “Feel free to show yourself out—I think you know the way.”
“Did you have a particular purpose for calling, Jeremy?” Violet asked, a touch more diplomatically. “I could pass a message along for James—I’ve not seen him yet today, though.”
“Probably hiding from any callers,” Jeremy muttered darkly. “But, er, no, thank you. I just wanted to discuss—er—manly things with him. Probably wouldn’t interest you in the least.”
“Manly things?” Violet inquired dubiously.
“Yes, quite,” Jeremy said with growing enthusiasm. “Not suitable discussion for ladies, in any case.”
“What, precisely, are these ‘manly things’?” Violet asked. “Horses? Mathematics? How to trick your wife into thinking you’re interested in another woman?”
“Er,” Jeremy said.
“Or shall I be more specific?” Violet pressed. “How to trick your wife into thinking you’re interested in another woman because you know perfectly well that she’s not truly ill?”
“Doesn’t this give you a headache?” Jeremy burst out. “I don’t know how you can stand it! I can’t bloody keep track of who knows what about who at what hour of what day.”
Violet and Diana exchanged raised eyebrows at this outburst. “You’re right,” Violet said. Diana looked as if she might fall off her chair at this admission. “It has gotten out of hand. James and I came to a similar conclusion last night, as a matter of fact.” She did not mention that their accord had not lasted long—nor how, precisely, they celebrated their brief reconciliation.
“I quite agree,” Diana said, which Violet thought was a bit rich, considering Diana had been in on this lunatic scheme from the very beginning. “Which is why I say, abandon the sham illness and invite one of these—very willing—gentlemen into your bed.”
“You do realize that the man you’re speaking of deceiving is my closest friend, don’t you?” Jeremy asked conversationally.
“I hardly think now is the time for you to try to claim the moral high ground about deceiving a man in his marriage, Willingham,” Diana said witheringly.
“I say,” Jeremy said, and Violet was startled to see that he looked truly angry, a rarity from him. “I would like you to know that I have not once seduced a woman who was happily married, or whose marriage had ever been based on anything other than family connections or money.” He stood abruptly, his cheeks rather flushed with anger. Diana was staring at him with frank astonishment.
“It is quite a different thing,” Jeremy continued, “to speak of deceiving a man who married for love at a ridiculously young age, and then was destined to spend the rest of his life paying for it, all because his wife can’t let go of some wretched argument from years past.”