Through My Window(Hidalgos #1)(22)

“Drama?”

He points between us. “This drama.”

“I hadn’t even said anything to you until I saw that you were about to leave.”

“Why can’t I leave?”

“You said you would sleep here.”

Ares sighs. “I changed my mind. It happens. Didn’t you know that?”

“You’re being an idiot. Didn’t you know that?”

“That’s the very reason I’m leaving. I don’t understand why women assume that we owe them something just because we’ve had a little sexual fun. I don’t owe you anything. I don’t have to stay. I don’t have to do anything for you.”

Ouch!

Ares continues. “Look, Raquel, I like to be honest with the girls I get involved with.”

Whatever he’s going to say, I know I’m not going to like it.

“You and I are having fun, but I’m not looking for a relationship. I’m not looking to cuddle after fooling around a little. That’s not me. I need to be clear with you about that because I don’t want to hurt you. If you want to have fun with me with no strings attached, fine. And if that’s not what you want, if what you want is a boyfriend, romance, Prince Charming, then tell me to stay away, and I will.”

Thick tears run down my cheeks, and it’s like I’ve stepped out of a sweet dream and entered a painful reality. I moisten my lips to speak. “I understand.”

Ares’s expression crumples with sadness, but, before he says anything, I wipe away my tears and open my mouth again.

“Then stay away from me.”

The surprise on his face is all too obvious. I know that wasn’t what he expected. But my mother taught me to never attempt to change someone. I know that no amount of sex, no matter how good, is enough to change someone if that person is unwilling to try.

Do I like him? I really do. I would dare to say that I’m falling in love with him. But I saw my mother put up with—and forgive—my father’s infidelities over and over again. I saw that she forgot how much she was worth, and that no matter how much she endured, cried, and suffered, my father never changed. He finally left with a woman much younger than her. After living through all that, I promised myself I wouldn’t be the same, I wouldn’t let myself be trampled over and mistreated for love, I wouldn’t let myself be completely carried away by my emotions. The pain of a broken heart passes, but the knowledge that you let someone make you forget your worth and walk all over you stays with you forever.

So I look Ares straight in the eye, not caring that I still have dried tears on my cheeks. “Stay away from me. And don’t worry, I’m not interested in watching you anymore, so you can put your mind at rest.”

He doesn’t come out of his daze. “You never cease to amaze me, you are so . . . unpredictable.”

“And you’re such an idiot. Do you think that going around banging girls and then dumping them will bring you happiness? Do you think this ‘I just want to have fun and nothing serious’ nonsense is going to get you anywhere? You know, Ares, I thought you were a different person. I get why they say, ‘never judge a book by its cover.’ You have a beautiful cover, but your content is empty, and you’re not a book I’m interested in reading, so get out of my room and don’t come back.”

“Wow, you really want the whole romance story, don’t you?”

“Yes, and there’s nothing wrong with that. At least I know what I want.”

Ares tenses his jaw. “Fine, as you wish.”

I step aside and he starts to climb out the window. “And Ares?”

He turns to me, with his hands on the ladder, and his body already outside on the rungs.

“I hope you’ve got the internet working at your place, because I am going to change my Wi-Fi password. I can’t see any point in it being AresAndMeForever now.”

A hint of pain crosses his features, but I chalk it up to my imagination, and he just nods and disappears down the ladder.

I let out a long sigh as I watch the boy of my dreams walk away.


I feel horrible.

Both physically and emotionally, which is a very bad combination for a single human being. My head hurts, and my body and my stomach are not quite stabilized after drinking. I haven’t slept at all, and it’s already morning.

And Apolo?

He’s good, thank you, sleeping like a vampire on a sunny day.

My cup of coffee warms my hands. I’m sitting on the floor in front of the bed with a blanket around me. I hope the coffee does something for my soul. I feel like a zombie, and I’m pretty sure I look like one too. From my position, I can see the top of the ladder on the windowsill. I still can’t believe I convinced Mom to let me keep it after she saw it. I told her I was practicing some new trendy Instagram exercise, and she believed me. Maybe I should get rid of it now. I sigh.

I feel like shit.

The physical discomfort is nothing compared to the feeling of disappointment that pierces my soul. I feel used, rejected, and unappreciated. It’s amazing what Ares can do to me with just a few words. Even though I know I did the right thing by kicking him out of my life, it doesn’t reduce the disappointment and dejection in my heart.

As unexpectedly as he appeared in my life, he’s gone.

The sun is peeking through my window, and I remember Ares disappearing through it as if it happened minutes ago, not hours. I can’t help but analyze every moment over and over again. My poor brain, guided by my heart, tries to look for gestures, expressions, any hidden words that give me hope that he wasn’t just playing with me, that he didn’t just use me, that he’s not an idiot.