This Side of the Grave (Night Huntress, #5)(63)

That was fine; I felt the same way. Aside from my compulsive urge to run my hands over him to assure myself that he was really here, relief, happiness, and the most profound feeling of rightness zoomed through me, settling all the way to my core. I hadn’t realized how deeply I’d missed Bones until that very moment, hadn’t let myself acknowledge how everything felt off when I was apart from him. On some levels, it was frightening how much a part of me he’d become. It let me know just how much I’d crumble if anything happened to him.

“Why didn’t you answer your mobile earlier?” Bones murmured once he lifted his head. “I tried you several times. Tried Mencheres, too. Even Tepesh. None of you answered. Scared the wits out of me, so I stowed away on a FedEx plane to make sure you were all right.”

“You came all the way from Ohio because I didn’t answer the phone?” I was torn between laughter and disbelief. “God, Bones, that’s a little crazy.”

And it was, except the part of me that had had images of his tombstone dancing in my head because he hadn’t answered his phone earlier was nodding in complete understanding. Despite all our protestations, we were so alike when it came to fear over the other’s safety, and I doubted we’d ever change.

“Crazy,” I repeated, my voice roughening with the surge of emotion in me. “And have I told you lately that your crazy side . . . is your sexiest side?”

He chuckled before his mouth swooped back over mine in another dizzying kiss. Then he picked me up, brushing past Vlad and Mencheres without even a hello, though I doubted either of them was surprised.

We’d made it into the bedroom, already ripping at each other’s clothes, when a discreet cough made my head whip around. Bones instantly had a knife in his hand, my bra dangling from his wrist. I’d gotten my own blade out when I realized the person in the room couldn’t hurt us if he tried.

“I somehow ended up here, but I can see that this is a bad time, so I’ll just check back with you later,” the unknown ghost said before disappearing into the wall.

“Not any time soon if you value your afterlife,” Bones called out after him.

I let out a strangled sound. If this was what I had to look forward to until Marie’s blood was out of my system, I seriously needed to invest in a lot more garlic and pot.

Then Bones dropped his knife and swept me back into his arms, and I forgot to care about any potential ghostly voyeurs.

“You have to leave already?” I murmured, blinking at Bones through the bright slants of sunlight that peeked out from the gaps in the drapes. “But you barely slept.”

The grin Bones flashed me was quintessential cat-that-got-the-cream, though that expression was probably better suited to me at the moment.

“I know,” he said, the words drawn out with the warmth of remembrance.

I sat up, dragging the sheet with me. “I’m serious.”

“Kitten”—Bones paused from pulling on his shirt—“four hours of sleep while holding you is far more beneficial to me than eight hours of endless tossing and turning because you’re not there.”

I couldn’t say anything for a moment. His tone was utterly matter-of-fact, no hint of romantic exaggeration or playful bantering. After all this time, I should be used to Bones’s unabashed bluntness about his feelings, but it still struck me. He didn’t hesitate to bare the most vulnerable parts of himself without care that I wasn’t the only one who could hear him. Me, I layered up in emotional safety nets most of the time, using humor or irony to conceal how deeply certain things affected me.

Not Bones. Badass undead killer he might be, but ever since we started dating, he’d never hidden his emotions from me, or did the macho downplaying of what I meant to him in front of others. He wasn’t just stronger than me physically or in power abilities. Bones also left me in the dust when it came to inner strength, daring to show his deepest vulnerabilities without any fear, safety net, or rationalization.

And it was high time I followed suit. Sure, I’d bared my heart to Bones in the past, but not nearly enough. He knew I loved him, knew I’d fight to the death by his side if need be, but there was more to it than that. Maybe some hidden, fragmented part of me had feared that if I admitted to Bones how much he truly meant to me, then I’d be acknowledging to myself that he had the power to destroy me more thoroughly than anyone, even Apollyon or the vampire council, could. All the rest of the world could only kill or devastate my mind and body. Bones alone held the power to demolish my soul.

“You once told me you could stand many things.” My voice was raspy from all the emotions battering against those well-honed inner defenses. “So can I. I can stand whatever Apollyon dishes out, can take the bigotry from others over what I am, the freaky ghost juju from Marie, all the craziness my mother can throw at me, and even the pain of my uncle dying. But the one thing that I would never, ever recover from would be losing you. You made me promise before to go on if that happened, but Bones”—here my words broke and tears spilled down my cheeks—“I wouldn’t want to.”

He’d been near the side of the bed when I started talking, but was in my arms before the first tear fell. Very softly, his lips brushed over those wet streaks, coming back pink from the drops still shimmering on them.

“No matter what happens, you will never lose me,” he whispered. “I am forever yours, Kitten, in this life or the next.”